Coming out as gay

This is great we can all reach out to each other and connect

 

I know that I too sometimes have to edit what I post. As much I like to be a frank and honest as possible it is a public forum. Also I try always to be descriptive without being prurient it’s not that kind of site. However these postings have been a beacon of support during my journey. The moderators are careful but fair in allowing the exchange of thoughts and feelings. EC is a true resource for us.

 

Because this is a public forum, I tend more toward the middle ground on language choice. Although difficult to do, I think it's important to also consider the writer's intent. Even when someone on EC uses more explicit - but within reason - language, I never get the impression that it's done to appeal to the reader's prurient interests.

 

I have to agree with everything notsureatall has said above. I’ve never felt comfortable when my straight male friends talk about Woman and what they like to do with them, I’ve always felt uncomfortable and not interested in the talk. I was always confused about this. It wasn’t until I accepted that I’m gay that I understood why I was being uncomfortable about their discussions. Now if if I hear talk about men I’m all ears! And it feels natural to me

 

I too felt this way. I was never comfortable when guys would talk about their sexual activities with their girl friends or wives. Graphic descriptions of straight sex acts never interested me and I found them distasteful. After coming to terms with homosexuality now I understand why. Now when talks turns to guys I am all ears and other parts.

 

Thanks Contented, your comments reaffirm that I’m not the only one that felt out of place when the straights talk about woman !

 

That is so funny Quebec!
I can remember with an early girlfriend thinking to myself I’m not enjoying this and I had to think of my surfing buddy so that I could get aroused

 

There certainly is a double standard in society. Straight guys can talk about their sex lives in graphic detail and no one really bats an eye. They can mention breasts, ass etc on a woman and while some women might not like it, in general no one goes crazy. However let a gay man talk frankly about his sex life and you would think society is on the verge of collapse!
Why can’t we gay men speak openly and honestly about our sexual lives. Liking and talking about another man’s penis or ass after all is part of what makes us gay. Lighten up already.

 

Notsureatall,
When I finally stopped fighting my homosexual nature and accepted who I was, I realised that I had never found women attractive at all, it was just me trying to fit in with what is expected of men. It is so freeing to be able accept who I am

 

I remember when I was looking at Hustler magazines and viewing naked couples having sex. My interest was view the naked girl on top of the guy. Next time, I looked at the couple, his gorgeous body became such a turn-on for me. I couldn't come out as gay back in the 80's but my curiosity in men started.

 

Exactly my experience- and like you it didn't make sense until I accepted that I was gay. I also could never use 'dirty words' during sex with women or even talk sexually.

looking back yes this is how I felt about sex with women all the time.

 

Yes! For those of us who were in denial and the closet we never felt 'normal' about our attractions and sexual desires, we felt shame.Having this conversation and reading others thoughts have helped me feel 'normal' about who I am.

 

This is an amazingly important insight into our homosexuality.We have brain washed by societal norms to believe our attraction to the same sex is somehow abnormal. That our lack of attraction to women was some how a sign of some deep seeded psychological disorder.Not desiring the female body for sexual satisfaction was somehow evidence of a serious character flaw. EC by allowing the discussion of gay sexuality enables us to see that’s what we feel, what we seek is totally normal. We don’t need to hide our sexual desires because they are somehow dirty, sinful or abnormal but rather be open about them. Even more so now we need affirm our sexuality openly proudly declaring we are gay.By doing so we might just help someone else struggling with the stigma of homosexuality when there is no reason for it.

 

Foofight
It was the same with me, my friends would all be looking at the girly magazines and I couldn’t for the life of me understand what the attraction was. My first job after university was in a male dominated industry, where one of the senior men had a stash of porno videos that he and others would watch. They invited me one day for the viewing, I actually enjoyed watching it but not for the obvious reasons I was watching the the male performer and I was intrigued at how lovelly his naked torso and other parts were !