Can gay and straight men be true friends?

...Why is this a question? Of course, gay and straight guys can be true friends.

 

But with that logic lesbians would be falling in love with straight girls too. The point isn't what sex someone is, attraction can occur regardless, but the unfortunate reality that sometimes one person has feelings for someone and the other does not.

 

I only hang out with gay guys because I can relate with them better. There’s a deeper connection and a stronger bond, I think. Most of my experiences with straight dudes has been overwhelmingly negative. Most of them were a bunch of two faced evil bastards. They turned their backs on me when I needed them the most. They left me high and dry and humiliated me. They can’t be our friends. Through all this, I learned that all we have is each other.

 

So you're confirming that the only reason why you think straight guys and gay guys can't be friends with each other is because all the straight guys you've been friends with have happened to be assholes. The world isn't black and white dude, there are many gay guys that are more than willing to back stab, humiliate, abandon, be negative, and "two faced evil bastards". I know your life experience may not have been great but it's a really bad idea to write everyone in a group off because you've dealt with bad apples. This also doesn't exactly explain why you're using the logic that two straight people cannot just be friends because they're attracted to the opposite sex when this line of thinking can just as easily be applied to a claim like two gay guys or girls can't just be friends because they're attracted to the same sex.

 

A lot of gay people experience this. It’s a common theme. I’m not alone.

 

That's true and very valid. There's a lot of lived experience and research that show how tenuous straight men's relationship with LGBT people can be.

But that doesn't make it universally true. There are straight men who are excellent friends, who do not feel uncomfortable with homosexuality or gay couples. There are also non-homophobic straight men who are nasty and will be disappointing friends. We shouldn't just tar them all with the same brush and say we'll never be able to befriend them.

I've had friendships with gay men I have found unpleasant and ultimately not worth keeping. I have had valuable friendships with straight men. We can recognise a genuine problem with homophobia and toxic masculinity without saying we need to ghettoise ourselves.

 

That's not what they were getting at, you shouldn't want to be friends with a homophobe because that'd be stupid. They're saying you shouldnt write off all straight men and assume they're all terrible people just because some of them are bad.

 

My point exactly. I understand the Op has been hurt but you can't generalize about an entire demographic.

 

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It’s not just the guys. It’s the woman too. Homophobia is prevalent among female straight people as well. I am tired of all of them. I would would rather hang with my gay friends. I feel good when I’m around my homosexual friends. I feel calm and I actually look forward for the future. Nothing good ever comes from straight people. All you’re going to find is pain and misery.

 

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It’s not extreme. It’s an accurate representation of what they are. You probably haven’t lived long enough to experience it. I still haven’t forgotten what they really are. Straight woman only see us as pets, not friends. Don’t confuse the two.

 

you certainly can be friends with straight guys if your gay I have straight male friends and don’t have issues and the one friend who I have who is gay as male straight friend and goes on holiday with him he doesn’t see no issues as well. there our allies if we don’t have them we would be more isolated and more intrenched in our own circle of people like ourselves and i think lead to more discrimination against us.

 

I really think the Op is going off the deep end here. I realize you have been hurt by straight people before, and I am truly sorry for that. But you hating all straight people because of a few bad apples is no better than straight people hating all gay people. It's just wrong to judge anybody by their sexuality, especially people you have never even met. The nicest person you ever meet might be a straight guy or girl. Are you really going to not be friends with them because they're straight? You are treating them with the same intolerance you hate so much.

 

Whoops. I thought hyphybum was the Op and my comment was directed towards him. My apologies.

 

Because they see as accessories, possessions to be collected; a collection of vapid stereotypes. They fetishize homosexuals as a commodity. They see us as objects. They don’t see us as friends.