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Can gay and straight men be true friends?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Joe2001, Feb 7, 2018.

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  1. Joe2001

    Joe2001
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    When you were straight? You either are or not.
     
    #61 Joe2001, May 4, 2018
  2. Limiteded

    Limiteded Guest


    I was about 10 years ago. Then thought I was bi for a while..,but now I feel only attracted to men. It’s been a long journey.
     
    #62 Limiteded, May 4, 2018
  3. Joe2001

    Joe2001
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    Fair enough - everyone's journey is a bit different.
    Going back to what I was saying earlier today - How could I get a good straight friend? I'm inspired having watched that video.
     
    #63 Joe2001, May 4, 2018
  4. Chip

    Chip
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    Friends and relationships are entirely different. Friendship, whether with gay or straight people, guys or girls, is cultivated around common areas of interest, similar values, and the like. Very often, the best way to cultivate friendships is to join clubs, teams or other activities. It can be sporting teams, book clubs, hiking clubs... pretty much whatever your interests are.
     
    #64 Chip, May 4, 2018
  5. Joe2001

    Joe2001
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    I joined a school badminton club this year, but quit because it was full of younger kids (and also partially because I had exams). Also went to a photography club for a while in 2016 but it was full of old men (like 45-80 years old), and there was just way too much of a generation gap for anything to work there. As it stands, I'm not really sure what clubs to join, although I agree with your point that it is likely a good way to meet people.
     
    #65 Joe2001, May 4, 2018
  6. BiBarefeet

    BiBarefeet
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    I think they can, but only if the gay guy is out to his straight friend, and that friend is fine with it...otherwise, as what happens with me, friends end up making homophobic jokes and I kind of laugh as they are funny but on the other hand I feel a little awkward and think to myself that I would probably lose their friendship if I came out to them...the automatic conclusion reached by many straight guys like this is that I would be sexually attracted to them, and they would then shun me a little on the basis that they cannot handle that if it were to happen (which it most definitely would not with me, as I'm only attracted to my friends in a platonic way and never find them attractive in any other way).
     
    #66 BiBarefeet, May 4, 2018
  7. Joe2001

    Joe2001
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    The question is - Where are the right straight guys? I feel as if I have been hit with bad luck when it comes to friendships.
     
    #67 Joe2001, May 5, 2018
  8. Limiteded

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    Ya I ha e many guy friends that I have no emotional or physical attraction to.
     
    #68 Limiteded, May 5, 2018
  9. Aussie792

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    A fair number of straight friends of mine were very blokey with me and my ex-boyfriend. It never seemed like an issue that affected even fairly traditional masculine friendships.
     
    #69 Aussie792, May 5, 2018
  10. Joe2001

    Joe2001
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    The blokey stuff makes me a bit uncomfortable, and I find their banter cringey. That's my prerogative though as several guys like it. It just feels as if all straight guys are like that, which is a shame as that video has motivated me to get over my fears and find good straight friends.
     
    #70 Joe2001, May 5, 2018
  11. hyphybum

    hyphybum
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    No. A straight man would never consider a gay man as his right hand man.
     
    #71 hyphybum, May 5, 2018
  12. CrustedApp

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    Yeah. Why cant they?
     
    #72 CrustedApp, May 6, 2018
  13. Aussie792

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    There are certainly straight men who aren't very blokey. But there are definitely patterns of socialising a lot of straight guys have learnt, that, if you were to exclude those men as possible friends, would narrow down your pool of potential friends.

    I'm also just not convinced all masculine forms of socialisation necessarily include the banter you don't like (I'm actually not sure exactly what banter you're referring to).

    This is just not true of all straight men and encourages people not to bother with friendships they should be able to make.
     
    #73 Aussie792, May 6, 2018
  14. kibou97

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    Im really curious why you think this.
     
    #74 kibou97, May 7, 2018
  15. Limiteded

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    When I was straight I had some gay friends that I could have worked together with no problem. Not sure why that other poster thinks that.
     
    #75 Limiteded, May 7, 2018
  16. kibou97

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    I mean, as I posted earlier in this thread, I have had a straight best friend of almost 8 years now and we're pretty much eachother's right hand man so im just curious to know why somebody would feel pretty much the exact opposite.
     
    #76 kibou97, May 7, 2018
    Last edited: May 7, 2018
  17. Limiteded

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    Not really sure. Maybe they had a bad experience?
     
    #77 Limiteded, May 7, 2018
  18. Joe2001

    Joe2001
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    Even if a straight guy was fine with a friend being gay, where I think that it could get awkward is when the gay friend gets a BF or married to a guy.
     
    #78 Joe2001, May 7, 2018
  19. Limiteded

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    I don’t think that would bother me because I already know he’s gay. Having a boyfriend I could care less about lol
     
    #79 Limiteded, May 7, 2018
  20. Joe2001

    Joe2001
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    I can't be friends with someone if they are of a completely different personality and/or have different interests to me. Most blokeish guys spend all of their weekends watching football and drinking beer, two things that you could not pay me to do.

    Not able to put my finger on exactly what I dislike about their banter, but it just feels very gang-like, quite loud, opinionated and they try to hard to act like alpha males.
     
    #80 Joe2001, May 7, 2018
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