Autism Spectrum Disorders and Transgenderism

Same here! But instead of freinds calling me Sheldon it's more of the assholes at my school as asshole>friends.

 

Well, I have some sort of autism (tested every 1-2 years at school, got "nothing", "HFA", "Aspergers", "PDD", and (once, though it's ridiculous) ADHD) and am also trans. I've got the finger thing and everything. I get away with being weird and saying weird gender things because "Oh, it's just Riley. That's her (his) way". I suppose I'm lucky in that respect.

Like my Spanish name is Jose and no one cares (most people don't question). And I never use gendered language in respects to myself, but I always talk funny. And I get to talk about sex as "gross" (it is) and they just call me an eggplant. My sister says when I grow up I'll marry an eggplant.

---------- Post added 4th Nov 2014 at 03:29 PM ----------

I think pretty much anyone like this (like me) gets called Sheldon. I haven't met anyone like me who hasn't.

 

This is kind of interesting to me, I had a similar experience. My mom was pretty convinced I had Asperger's up until I was in middle school. If I do have some form of Asperger's it's probably a mild form, I was never diagnosed with it as far as I can remember. Though I have been diagnosed with a certain learning impairment called Dysgraphia, and it's suspected I may have Dyslexia and ADD on top of that but those two are pretty common.

 

Oh, awesome.

I get double hrt woop woop.

 

Very interesting thread. I've been exploring transgender leanings in myself lately. I've never been diagnosed with aspergers but have with adhd. I have trouble with empathy and I'm quite narcissistic. I also speak very monotone and have a hard time being expressive of emotions. Maybe that's why I like the idea of being a girl, because girls are so free with their emotions and can display affection for anyone and everyone without people staring. I felt like a completely "normal" hetero male until earlier this year (age 23). As some of you have touched on, I've never been super in touch with my emotions which is probably why I never allowed it to come up. My wife is very empathetic and essentially psychic so she pulls stuff out of my subconscious now and then. Painful, but beneficial.

 

Bring it I'm not scared, I've seen worse.

 

Holy crap! This is freaking me out. Though I am hesitant to get too excited since I am compulsively self-diagnosing, specifically every fall when I become nocturnal and feel negative.
I don't know that I fit all the symptoms, but according to your list here are the ones I do demonstrate:

-Also trouble connecting with people, unless it's about things I'm interested in. Small talk makes me want to shoot myself, FOR REAL. And people I know I'm never going to see again I have to force myself not to straight up ignore, lol, which I used to do as a child.
-Definitely trouble sympathizing/empathizing even when I care about them. My wife has a very hard time with this. She is very empathetic and gets very hurt when she is expressing her feelings to me and I just shut down. I just have no way to respond. Then she has to pull herself out of it and tell me how I should respond. Then she feels better but I was useless.
-Constant feeling of superiority.... YES (though still looking for evidence to the contrary :icon_wink
-usually in monotone except with wife, because usually uncomfortable. When I am ordering things at a restaurant or something or in many social situations I think "how should I act? What would a normal person sound like when they order? what does acting natural look like?" Then of course I don't act natural cause I'm freakin in my head!
-I definitely have a huge sensitivity to smell. Ever since I was little I would hold my breath when strangers walked by because I didn't want to smell "their smell." Also, I fart a lot, but when other people fart I feel anger.
-The eye contact thing for me is like I try to make eye contact but it's so purposeful and then I feel like I'm boring into their soul and it feels weird. I can't just "lightly" look at them.
-yeah stimming. This may be more ADHD-ish, but I am always moving around. bouncing leg or tapping feet. And I bite my knuckles in a certain pattern, it gives some feeling of relief. Also biting skin off my lips.

Literally, when my wife and I watched Dexter we were both a little freaked out by how much that describes me. Feeling compelled to show emotions I'm not feeling, trying hard to relate to others, only "loving" people who benefit me, etc. Holy crap.

[EDIT: Oh yeah and I smellm y hands like 1000 times per day. kinda checking for cleanliness. to the point that Ive gotten comments about it like, "why do you keep smelling your hands?"]

 

You know, I've always had this and wondered what it meant. I hate crowds, like really hate them. When there's too much noise or brightness or just too much (I don't really know how to describe it), I flip out. I've always called it "sensory overload". Does anyone else know what I'm talking about?

 

Yeah peculiarchild, for sure. I went to New York City and almost had a breakdown from the overload! I have a huge sensitivity about being aware of what is around me. Like I am constantly a thousand variables, who is behind me, which direction their going, how fast their moving, what I'm going to do if their suddenly change direction or speed. Like when people shoot out of the ends of isles in the store while looking down at their cart I think they must be seriously idiots. So in crowds I just shrink into myself because there's no way to process all the variables. And then I can't give proper attention to what my wife is saying and she gets upset.

Speaking of attention, when my wife and I first started dating she had to work with me a lot to get me to look at her when she was talking to me, instead of typing or playing a game or something. The thing is I can give her nearly the same amount of attention while I'm playing a game as when I'm looking at her. Not because I am an amazing multitasker, which I like to think I am, but because even when I am looking at someone while talking they only have a fairly small percentage of my attention, especially when I have no interest in what their saying. I have to force myself to say relevant comments now and then to show understanding.

 

While I do share some of the traits, I have come to believe I am not autistic or have asperger's.

-I mean, change makes me flip out. I especially don't like 'permanent' change, which is why I won't get tattoos but live piercings.
- I have ocd tendencies and often obsess. I have a fascination with texture that I show in the form of scratching. I scratch EVERYTHING. Looks pretty/shiny? Scratch. I do it everyday multiple times, among other small ticks and rituals.
- Eye contact was tough but I forced myself on later years to maintain it. It doesn't feel as bad now, but at times does feel forced, like my gaze is piercing their soul at times.
-However I consider myself empathetic, almost too much. I get sad when others get sad, happy when they're happy; I'm a personality and emotion mirror.
- I'm told I hVe been diagnosed with cyclothymic disorder. Not 100% sure what it os, but I do seem to get an occassional high and low. I noticed sometimes if ai am in a bad mood ANYTHING pisses me off. It's all petty stuff too, like a cable or cord being i the wrong spot, or a dog toy that is in the wrong spot, I respond with unwanted aggression like ghrowing the stuff or damaging it.
-I've recently been given meds for adhd to see if I do have it. I get super spacey, forget things and have an at times spotty short term memory, and I get easily distracted, try to multitask without finishing what I started though I feel capable, and otherwise have trouble focusing on 1 thing for what seems longer than 5 minutes.
- I seem to have my own sensory overload. If there are too many people in a room, or if I feel flustered or unsure what to do, or if I'm uncomfortable and with a lot of people I flip out. I have 3 others in my family, but sometimes being in the kitchen with even just 2 others causes me to freak and run out the room for a few minutes. Not sure why.



I mean all that said I /feel/ normalish, but I know I have some quirks. I like it in some ways; I'm me! However I don't want to be seen as 'less' or 'disabled', it's kind of a catch 22.

---------- Post added 5th Nov 2014 at 01:13 PM ----------

Tried to edit my above post since I typed it on my phone after waking up, and also wanted to add something but I'll just post it here:

"-Idk if this matters much but I love spelling, and have always been fairly good at it. Not perfect, but my parents always asked for my help regarding syntax, structuring, and word usage and or spelling. I would read the dictionary for fun, and rather enjoy having a lengthy lexicon; which I balance out by acting goofy and only talking 'smart' when I need too. Some have commented on the way I speak and use words, I have gotten comments anywhere from saying I'm smart, to arrogant, to weird, to a know it all; but I don't feel this way! T_T
I don't see myself as any better or smarter than others, I was just blessed in 1 area, I think everyone kinda gets that but in different areas.
Example: I was blessed with thoroughly enjoying the word cantankerous and the origins and roots of words and our world, but I'm bi and trans with anxiety depression ocd et cetera xD

I'm sure there's a bunch of other things I'm not mentioning but I digress; one flew through the cuckoo's nest~"

 

Well every one else is throwing in their personal flaws, or advantages, because of their retrospective autism, so I'll throw mine in. Just saying that sometimes there will be complete opposites from the norm (hahaha... Thats depressing cos its not) in aspergers.
-cant relate or empsise with others well
-often goes into monotone voices when bored or nervous, sad, angry, any of the few emotions.
-I HATE small groups of people I bearly know, and medium size groups of people and feel best alone, in my bedroom, playing guitar, pokemon or minecraft where I'm free to express myself for the nobody can harm me in any form...
-dispise popular music. Earlier somebody said 'how do you live your life without (insert generic pop artist here that I already hate, even though I have probably never heard of them )
-am most comfterbale (next to solitude) is being in groups of one or two others that I know extremley well, the few close friends I have.
-I cant stand scilence, I get really stressed out if I'm playing a game or something without playing music or listening to the in game music.
-I am can be somewhat all over the place in my behaviour, in that sometimes I am confident and outgoing, but most of the time I am a complete invert and keep myself to myself.
-I have unexplainable obbsesions about all sorts of pointless stuff that nobody really cares about, and then tell everyone about the obsession for no reason...
-The whole sheldon thing again, where 'gah emotion' (not sure about that because I don't watch BTT)
-my outlook on the world is... Grim to say the least.
-If I find something that feels good (not like that) I have to repeatedly stroke that object.
- Don't like standing still
- If I feel like I'm being ignored, being interrupted etc. I get really ticked off.
-When I see others in disstress or pain, I feel pain to... It sucks only being able to empahise pain...
-Sometimes I scratch myself so much I bleed just drink the blood... Apparantley that 's disgusting but it tastes soooo goood...
Whether any of these are the effect of aspergers or me just being a really messed up kid (probably because of aspergers).

I just read this... Why the hell have I only nust realised this. I've known about having for 4 years of wretched life so far a I never realised the blatantly obvious staring right at me. 4 years! Man, I really suck at this whole 'living' thing. :bang::bang::bang:

 

You guys, this is actually a pretty big realization for me. I looked up the digit ratio thing and I am normal, that is to say, I have a low ratio so I am masculine which fits. But I feel a pull toward femininity but don't know the details of that yet.
Anyway, in researching Aspergers I wasn't fitting several of the categories. But then I research High Functioning Autism and I literally fit it to the T.
-Delay in speech development (I didn't speak till I was two, then I stuttered)
-Trouble understanding other's intentions/emotions and responding appropriately.
-Prefer working alone or with 1-2 very close friends.
-Often speaks monotone and general inability to feel/express emotions.
-Feelings of anxiety and social anxiety.
-Can focus on one task for extended periods of time if interested, if not interested... forget it.
-may appear aloof or dissociated in social situations (that's cause I am)
-average to above average IQ (IQ of 145)
-may also neglect social niceties like knocking or returning a greeting (I have to FORCE myself do these things, learned from past experiences)
-do not lack empathy (but may have trouble expressing it) thus can enjoy movies and plays that act as a "pre-packed" lesson in human emotion and behavior. (YES, I said years ago that's why I enjoy movies, because I can connect and relate to the characters better than real people.)
-often have intense and deep knowledge of an obscure or difficult subject (hypnosis, conspiracy theories, occult knowledge)
-Speech and diction can be unusually precise (people think I'm showing off when I use certain words, but I just see them as the most efficient means of relaying info)
-Curiosity and interest for many different things, in contrast to people with Asperger syndrome
-exhibit monotone speech patterns and trouble discerning and/or expressing emotions.
-people with high functioning autism may have increased possibility of engaging in criminal behavior. (won't go into detail here, but yes)

This is a pretty big deal. I've had so many diagnoses and I never super fit any of them. There is definitely relief in finding information about myself so I don't think I'm super alone or too different to fit any organized thought system.

Thanks guys, I'm so glad I found this site and this thread