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At A Crossroads

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Soundofmusic, Jan 8, 2018.

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  1. Soundofmusic

    Soundofmusic
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    Yeah I definitely don't want to string anyone along that way, or bring that dynamic into a family. I guess sometimes I just wish I could convince myself to be happy in that sort of scenario.

    the pressure is real, man
     
    #21 Soundofmusic, Jan 10, 2018
  2. Soundofmusic

    Soundofmusic
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    That makes a lot of sense. Thanks for that perspective.
     
    #22 Soundofmusic, Jan 10, 2018
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  3. Soundofmusic

    Soundofmusic
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    More sway to make the Philadelphia decisions...

    The place I interviewed at just got acquired by one of the largest media/entertainment companies in the world. I've been trying to break into that world. So now I almost CANT say no....

    I hope I hear back soon.
     
    #23 Soundofmusic, Jan 10, 2018
  4. silverhalo

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    I feel like it's meant to be
     
    #24 silverhalo, Jan 10, 2018
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  5. HelpLOL

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    I understand what you mean, just remember that you can have pretty much the same life with a woman. So you're not really disregarding that life just tweaking it so it would truly make you happy.
     
    #25 HelpLOL, Jan 10, 2018
  6. Soundofmusic

    Soundofmusic
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    Let's hope they send me a concrete offer soon! They said they wanna hire me, now its just a matter of when. GAH

    I also found an article about queer life in Philadelphia and apparently its like a lesbian mecca. I lived there but was SUPER in denial back then so I didn't come in contact with the lgbt world at all... I would for sure move to the gayborhood. Or an area called Fishtown. Which is apparently where the lesbians are at LMAO
     
    #26 Soundofmusic, Jan 10, 2018
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  7. Soundofmusic

    Soundofmusic
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    Yes and no. My relationship with my friends and family will not be the same if I end up with a woman vs. a man. Accepting as they may be, they are also incredibly traditional.
     
    #27 Soundofmusic, Jan 10, 2018
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  8. silverhalo

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    Fishtown hahaha that is too funny.

    I get that you might be making sacrifices in some areas to be with a woman and that's not to be underestimated but I feel like the sacrifices you will make to yourself and your mental health and happiness if you try and deny this part of you will be far greater.
     
    #28 silverhalo, Jan 10, 2018
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  9. Barbatus

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    That's a lot of pressure and expectation to deal with. I think it is a case of you becoming used to the idea that you won't be the person others want you to be. But not being what others want you to be is pretty much the only way you can live your own life. Otherwise you will spend a lifetime doing what other people want of you and making them happy at the expense of your own happiness.

    I hope that you take the job when the offer comes through as it sounds like you really need and want to explore who you are without the social pressure constraining you.

    You have to do what you think is best for you but it sounds like a great opportunity.
     
    #29 Barbatus, Jan 10, 2018
  10. Really

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    You need to write them a follow up note saying how much you appreciated meeting with them or talking to them or whatever it was and reiterate your interest in working with them and how you look forward to hearing from them soon.

    Get back in the forefront of their minds.
     
    #30 Really, Jan 10, 2018
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2018
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  11. YeahpIdk

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    Lol of course the lesbaes are in Fishtown. It’s hip as SHIT.

    Where hip is. We are.

    I can’t believe you lived in Philly! You’ve been all over. Jeez.
     
    #31 YeahpIdk, Jan 10, 2018
  12. Soundofmusic

    Soundofmusic
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    Yeah thats where I went to college! Lived there 4yrs but closed to the suburbs than the city
     
    #32 Soundofmusic, Jan 11, 2018
  13. Soundofmusic

    Soundofmusic
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    I have!! And i also sent them a congratulatory note on their recent acquisition.
     
    #33 Soundofmusic, Jan 11, 2018
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  14. Soundofmusic

    Soundofmusic
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    Thats probably the hardest part for me. I saw my psychiatrist yesterday and he said basically the same. But he also thinks that my shields are so high up that i might be blocking out any attraction i have to EITHER gender. Ugh idk
     
    #34 Soundofmusic, Jan 11, 2018
  15. Soundofmusic

    Soundofmusic
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    Yeah you are right. I just need to start visualizing what my life will look like without the constant presence of my current friends and family, imagine the worst case scenarios and then just, let it go.
     
    #35 Soundofmusic, Jan 11, 2018
  16. idsm

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    Waaaay offtopic (as usual), but when is it a good time to send that note? I suppose not right after the interview, but how late is too late?
     
    #36 idsm, Jan 11, 2018
  17. Soundofmusic

    Soundofmusic
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    Id say anything after 3 days is late. But better late than never. I usually send within the first 24hrs. Because then their memory of you is fresh and your memory is fresh to include details of the interview within the note (i.e. I was glad to hear that blah blah blah). If its a Friday, next Monday works.
     
    #37 Soundofmusic, Jan 11, 2018
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  18. Barbatus

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    "Thats probably the hardest part for me. I saw my psychiatrist yesterday and he said basically the same. But he also thinks that my shields are so high up that i might be blocking out any attraction i have to EITHER gender. Ugh idk"

    Lol, yeah same here. I think in order to protect ourselves we do build walls around us. But hopefully you'll be able to bring them down a bit.
     
    #38 Barbatus, Jan 11, 2018
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2018
  19. silverhalo

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    The thing is you are imagining all the good things of your current life which you may lose or may change if you live your truth but you aren't factoring in any of the amazingness you will feel because of your relationship with your amazing girlfriend.
     
    #39 silverhalo, Jan 11, 2018
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  20. Soundofmusic

    Soundofmusic
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    it used to be easy for me to visualize that but I haven't had feelings for someone in so long that I almost forget what its like. its hard to visualize. maybe I need to stop watching science fiction and get on some romantic stuff
     
    #40 Soundofmusic, Jan 11, 2018
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