Another question: What's it like to kiss a woman?

We all have so much in common. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. LAUGH!!!

 

Yes, bc he loved it so much. I think he had a fetish. He admitted he could not control it for a period of time. And it got me really fucked up in the head for a while. But I developed kind of a codependent attitude bc I loved him and wanted to make him happy.

 

Same lol and my husband knows it too. He would need prior approval for that and my consent.

 

I feel this way as well - deepest sympathies. Because regardless of who he is, I did not experience this disrespect or harm. I'm so grateful.

 

Oh believe me, I get it. The things I tolerated from my ex (not sexual in my case) just because I wanted so badly for him to be happy! So much abuse. The mind reels... We are all such intelligent, strong women, and yet. @silverhalo , I'm so happy for you, really, that while you consider yourself a late-in-lifer, you figured it out before going through something like this.

 

That's gaslighting - that he couldn't control it. Maybe he couldn't control his fetish, but he could certainly control his actions, and if he told you otherwise, or guilted you into doing something you didn't want to, he's an ass. Gaslighting makes me stabby.

 

My husband has talked me into anal and I go along because I loved him but hated it. He is always trying to get me to do it now but I just change the subject real quick. It's amazing how much everyone's stories are the same. I'm positive mine gaslights me and now it just pisses me off.

 

Mine is always trying to grab my boobs or shove his hand down my shirt. He doesn't get it that when I slap his hand away it means to stop not try again. He touches me like a porn movie, I hate it. He is coming home tonight after a long trip and will want sex but I'm having a hard time even wanting to anymore.

 

God this pisses me off. My ex husband is gay. He asked one time if we could have anal sex, and I consented. I hated it. Despised it. It was the most awful sexual experience of my life. And he respected that and he never asked again. He was still in the closet for at least five years after that. And he wasn't going out and getting that need met any other way for 4.5 of those five years.

If he could respect me that way, what the hell is it with straight men who think they're entitled to such liberties? Wives aren't property. Women aren't chattel.

You all deserve so much better. SO MUCH BETTER. I am sincerely sorry for your experiences.

 

I think I could have been like any of you if it wasn't for my natural man repellant that I seem to emit.

 

You have no idea. He admitted it was a fetish after our entire relationship and during therapy. At one session I brought it up and he got so mad the therapist stopped the session. He told me he would divorce me so he's never have to talk about it again bc it was his preference but he Denied it was his preference. He admitted he manipulated me. But how fucked up was I? I felt bad for him bc essentially it was the only way he could get off until his anxiety about performing any other way reduced. But sometimes it would flare up and I just got really messed up about it. And then we just really destroyed each other about it. He claims I emasculated him. I made his anxiety worse. We just really hurt each other a lot.

 

Yeah stay up late I would lol

 

I sometimes feel like I'm in some 1950's lesbian nightmare.

 

Haha she has literally just walked in the door....

 

have fun! *wink wink*

 

Right off you go.....do your research for all our sakes!!!!!!
Don't act suspiciously though....just be casual. In order to get accurate results she can't know that you are carrying out research.

 

Omg, I hope I don't need my therapist tonight, sounds like your going to be busy!