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I think I'm turning a corner?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by RJay, Aug 29, 2017.

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  1. leb10

    leb10
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    Hoping you have a great night RJay. You deserve some fun, whether it's romantic or platonic! :grin:
     
    #121 leb10, Sep 2, 2017
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  2. Moonsparkle

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    OMG-I'm just tuning in! And the 'get together for some wine' has turned into a full dinner???!!!!

    Plot thickens! And yes, it's true-we actually shouldn't limit ourselves to Lifetime or Hallmark--both networks too tame for all this!

    We've got a NETFLIX original series on our hands here. Definitely can get away with a lot more EDGINESS in netflix shows!
     
    #122 Moonsparkle, Sep 2, 2017
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  3. Bouldghirl

    Bouldghirl
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    Hey - whatever happens you know you will learn from it. I hope all goes well.

    Moonsparkle - if you direct I'll do cinematography.
     
    #123 Bouldghirl, Sep 2, 2017
  4. junebug99

    junebug99
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    Awesome! I would totally watch That!
     
    #124 junebug99, Sep 2, 2017
  5. Moonsparkle

    Moonsparkle
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    @Bouldghirl -you're on cinematographer. Because if I direct that will mean I get to sit in one of those cool director chairs! I have zero directing skills, but I do like the idea of that chair! :movie_camera::film_frames: :slight_smile:

    And right, no matter HOW this ends, it will make a great movie. Certainly will appeal to late in life lesbians, and we need some of our own flicks! And there's a ton of us out there. Hollywood needs to wake up--they're missing a whole untapped market! :slight_smile:
     
    #125 Moonsparkle, Sep 2, 2017
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  6. RJay

    RJay
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    Can I just say how much I **LOVE** you guys??? Really. I'm so serious that this forum has been more therapeutic than anything else I've done.

    L is **straight**. Sorry, everyone!!! But, we did have an awesome night. Dinner at a restaurant, then wine and smoking of illicit substances back at her place. She is the coolest. I came out to her at the restaurant. I had a perfect opportunity to use the "line", but I didn't have the nerve. I did let her know that I'm gay, though, and she was like, "wow, that's amazing!" I told her a lot of my story, and she was so into it. But immediately, she asked me if I'd started dating, and I said no. She started telling me what apps to go on, and how she's had a lot of fun hookups with guys through those apps, yadda yadda. She was all encouraging me to do casual hookups for a while to "test the waters". HAHAHAHA! I told you she was cool. I told her that my therapist agreed with her, especially because I keep just crushing on my straight women friends so need to meet some actual lesbians. L cracked up at that.

    So I think I did pretty well with the whole situation and we parted as good friends. Sooooooo glad to have met her *after* V so I could protect myself a little this time around... come out right away... let her know I crush on straight women, etc. And all before I get emotionally invested. YES! I think we could be pals. And I'll know this time around to not expect it to be more.

    Sooooo... V will be back in a few days. She texted me A LOT today. All very casual stuff about our kids, but still I must admit I was thrilled to hear from her. It had been five days, and I was determined not to text first. 5 days was the longest we'd gone without communicating in the last 3 months. So, she said she and the girls were so excited to be coming home and getting to see me soon. Awwwww. If I see her and start getting all insane again, I will tell her right away that I have fallen in love with her. I'm still hoping that I can just keep my head straight in regards to her and just be content with friendship. BUT, I just don't know how I'll react to seeing her again. So we might be soon headed into that conversation.

    Of course, I continue to keep you all posted.

    Next chapter... Will she get all hung up on V again? Will she try the dreaded dating apps? Will she go try to pick up women in gay bars??? Nobody can tell! Keep reading to find out!
     
    #126 RJay, Sep 2, 2017
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  7. NeonSocks

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    Dang it!!!!!

    But, it sounds like you had a wonderful night and a new badass friend to boot. All in all I think I speak for all of us when I say we are glad to see you happy and handling everything so incredibly well.

    You give me a lot of hope and courage for my own life. :slight_smile:
     
    #127 NeonSocks, Sep 2, 2017
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  8. idsm

    idsm
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    I go out ONE night and return to two pages of new posts...

    Darn straight girls! Seriously? L is straight? How is that even possible? Street hockey, car racing, repeatedly asking to see you alone with alcohol involved? What's wrong with her?

    I mean that works for me, since I was one of the few to still root for V (make sure to tell her that if anything happens with her, so that she knows who her friends are in here), but darn...

    PS. So that means this thread will be closed and we will return to the original?

    @silverhalo I probably went a little too far with my privacy settings; will fix this asap. Oh, and thanks :slight_smile:
     
    #128 idsm, Sep 2, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 2, 2017
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  9. beenthrdonetht

    beenthrdonetht
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    So much for my psychic powers! But I bet (see I still can't resist) she's already scheming to hook you up.

    BTW, you are the inspiring one.
     
    #129 beenthrdonetht, Sep 2, 2017
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  10. RJay

    RJay
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    OMG. I love you so so so much. Can I just say that? LOL!!!!

    I know! Those were all such promising signifiers, right?! I **told** you guys that my neighborhood is just FULL to brimming with beautiful blonde women who are super liberal and super educated. And they are all straight. But they love to go OUT OF THEIR WAY to prove their love of their LGBT friends. Ha! Messing with my head big time!
     
    #130 RJay, Sep 2, 2017
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  11. silverhalo

    silverhalo
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    Tell me about it, I went on holiday for a week and had to set aside a day on my return to catch up haha.

    Yeah let me know if you change them I'm always up for a wall post but I respect people's privacy so it's totally up to you.
     
    #131 silverhalo, Sep 3, 2017
  12. silverhalo

    silverhalo
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    Of course I'm gutted she is straight but I think this is just the next lesson now you know you can come out to someone and talk about falling in love with straight girls, not get the result you want but the world not fall down around you. She didn't react badly and you still had a super fun night.
    Plus whoever said you were badass yourself is totally right.
     
    #132 silverhalo, Sep 3, 2017
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  13. Moonsparkle

    Moonsparkle
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    Okay so L is straight...but you know what? L IS the wingwoman you want by your side. This assertive bad-ass chick is exactly the one who will be up for going to lesbian clubs with you. AND I can see her in that little purple racing jacket running around the bar, being bold enough to approach any girl you find attractive on your behalf! We should ALL have an L in our lives!

    And props to you for letting the 'I'm gay' cat out of the bag at moment one! Night ends with some drinks and smoking something a bit more fun than nicotine...all good there!

    I could be wrong but I don't think you're going to be AS swooning over V. Lots has happened in the past few weeks. You learned some stuff about you AND her. She was away for a while and not only did you survive but I'd say with your traveling and new friendship with L you THRIVED! And the new friendship with L is for sure going to put a different spin on the RJay and V friendship!

    PS #1: idsm nailed it--how the heck is it even possible that L IS straight. I mean really, street hockey???

    PS#2: this isn't even my thread and I also find it so therapeutic! You as the star, all the costars...priceless to be part of a forum of people who get it! And your honesty in all of this, also priceless! :slight_smile:
     
    #133 Moonsparkle, Sep 3, 2017
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  14. zumbaqueen

    zumbaqueen
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    So L is straight, huh. Damn these women in your neighborhood.
     
    #134 zumbaqueen, Sep 3, 2017
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  15. leb10

    leb10
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    Yay RJay! I'm so glad you had a fun night! Big kudos for coming out to her so quickly and talking about falling in love with straight girls. This thread made me smile so much the past few days. It's awesome that you share so much of your journey on here - seriously you're killing it!

    I cannot believe she's straight either. Damn. But she's still a badass and agree she'll make a fun wingwoman. You'll have to let us know when that happens!- the accompanying EC thread will be so fun.

    Btw - I need to visit this neighborhood you live in. Sounds like a great place to people watch :wink:
     
    #135 leb10, Sep 3, 2017
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  16. RJay

    RJay
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    Thanks so much everybody! I am so proud of how I handled myself. I think I can just admire L's beauty and not get all hung up over her. I'll avoid the mistakes I made with V that just kept getting me in deeper. L was so funny encouraging me to go to bars and use apps and all of that. And she found the whole thing quite amusing, but she was compassionate about it. At some point, I told her my husband hated me for not being more feminine, and she was sooooo pissed off. Seriously, she said that really angered her and made her want to kill him. And then I told her how for so many years, I just didn't know why I didn't feel comfortable presenting in a feminine way though I definitely liked how femininity looked on other women. OMG, she almost spit out her drink. Like I said, she was amused. But in a good way.
     
    #136 RJay, Sep 3, 2017
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  17. idsm

    idsm
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    Why don't you tell L about V? Perhaps she can help. She lives nearby, so she might actually know her.
     
    #137 idsm, Sep 3, 2017
  18. SweetSoulJulia

    SweetSoulJulia
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    Or...what if you told V about L and see what her reaction is?? Interesting thought.

    I'm rarely on this board but I was routing for you, Rjay. I know all that you've been through with V. I'm still in love with J myself. Oye.
     
    #138 SweetSoulJulia, Sep 3, 2017
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  19. RJay

    RJay
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    I may indeed do that! I already asked if she knew her and told her a bit about her, but I just referred to her as my friend and didn't tell her about the "situation" between us.

    Ugh woke up this morning fantasizing about V again, soooooo I'm worried that our friendship will still be difficult for me. She is writing to me about how excited she and the girls are to see me and hang out again.
     
    #139 RJay, Sep 3, 2017
  20. RJay

    RJay
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    Well, there isn't anything to tell right? Or do I tell her I got together with a woman I hoped was gay but she turned out to be just another beautiful non-homophobic straight woman? Haha...

    Honestly, I'm starting to think I should tell V that I'm really ready to start dating but I'm so hung up on her that I can't quite bring myself to do it.
     
    #140 RJay, Sep 3, 2017
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