What Are You Thinking?

i guess pain just means growth....

 

Nobody's perfetc.

---------- Post added 1st Jul 2013 at 04:52 PM ----------

If hug accepted then (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*) (&&&)

 

^i wish i could believe that. but some people....grr if they're not they give a pretty f'ng good impression of it XD some times i feel so....damaged compared to other people...

 

What you've been through makes you stronger and more compassionate. It isn't fair that you've had a harder life, but you can't change it, so accept it and change the future. (*hug*)

 

People learn to give a pretty good impression of it, but even the strongest perfect-est of peoples have a major breakdown sometime. I even know a friend who I thought his life was perfect and was so strong and then he had a pretty huge breakdown. Hell, I myself like to make everyone think that everything is perfect with me and that I'm so headstrong so I fake a smile and pretend everything is ok when I don't know which way is up anymore. Just remember everyone feels damaged sometime but it takes a damn strong person to pretend everything is ok. (*hug*) (*hug*)

Did my talk help or was I just rambling?

 

No, it makes a lot of sense. I remember when I broke down and couldn't hide the fact anymore that I wasn't Atlas and could hold everything up, it was the time I actually told my parents about my depression and suicidal thoughts. But I've felt better ever since, so I guess by letting lose the build up inside it actually can make one feel better. (*hug*)

 

i know you're right alex, and that is how i always try to look at it. but sooometimes i am just a little bit jealous that some people seem to have something i just DON'T. it's like a kind of innocence (not that i'm not naive in sooo many ways still cuz i realize i am). i dunno.

@ILIKECATS,

lolz, that made me laugh XD i guess you are right. i am admittedly very jelly of one of my older sister's, but i am sure her life isn't as perfect as it seems

Oh, btw the pain means growth comment was NOT me being emo. the other one about being damaged was, lolz, yes, but the pain means growth actually just meant my boobs are like swollen as FUQ tonight. TMI i know XD

 

^LOL.

I know what you mean. I'm not always successful in thinking about it like that either.

 

So making plans for the 4th I planned to make on my 52oz Big Gulp Margarita.

After dinner I realized something. My two week on call rotation is over. Screw waiting I am having one now.

 

Surely i wont get screwed over by another flatmate?

 

I need to start working on my work of fiction. Today is July 1st. The clock is ticking...

I'm probably not excited about it, because I have yet to figure out the names. I'm so sick of looking up names.

Correction. I love looking up names. I hate finding a name that I absolutely adore, only to find that it has already been popularly use.

 

People just never understand do they? It shouldn't bug me so much, I'm not trans, but when I hear my mom say that sort of stuff it just drives me crazy. I can't stand having people talked about like that when I know they're already hurt enough. Ugh.

I am so proud of all you trans* people. You are so brave, and so strong (*hug*)

 

Strangers who I ignore must think I'm a terrible person for ignoring them when they're trying to get some stranger's attention. Good thing I'm wearing nothing that links me back to Texas

 

I poured some of my dads beer into my drink.

WHY the fuck didn't i pour the rest?!!!!

 

You are such a sweet person (*hug*) if only aaall cispeople could be like you <3<3

 

Well, when you put it like that... :icon_redf

We could use more people like you in the world. Group hug? (&&&)

 

Looks like I might avoid my daily dose of depression today, all thanks to my age-old coping mechanism, derealization/depersonalization!

Something tells me this isn't good for my mental health, or for my wallet (I got no work done today).

Edit: Trying to pull myself out of it, and man, does my head feel weird.

 

Today is most definitely one of those "fuck you all and the horse you rode in on" days. For absolutely no reason other than an increased sense of frustration with the entire world and the way everyone lacks the oomph to do anything where they have to put in more than the basic amount of effort. Actually maybe a few more reasons, all connected to reading/hearing various opinions and finding it incredibly hard not to make a gif of me flipping them the double finger.

I'm such a mardy cow at the moment, far mardier than usual. My body must be preparing for another mood cycle. That or I've genuinely had enough of listening to people complain and complain about all of this prejudice, all of this horrible mess that exists in society, and then contributing nothing but bitching. It's like listening to some of the teachers sitting around and complaining that some of their students can't spell their own name at 7, and then when you ask them what they did to help the child they just say something along the lines of "well, I told them that's not how they spell their name... they're old enough to know better" and it leaves you sitting there fuming because obviously the child does not know better and needed help, but they're not getting help because their teacher is focusing on the fact the child can't do it rather than what they can do to help them do it.

Ho-hum. I need to learn not to be such an arse.

 

Really feel like diving into some Cronenberg films, yet am quite terrified about doing so [since I have deeply-rooted cinematic 'hang-ups' with violence and gore....]

 

My ears can't get enough AWOLNATION as of late. I've played "Some Kind of Joke" to death. Youtube actually told me to stop, and get off the computer.