What Are You Thinking?

There's a girl, that I have fallen hopelessly in love with. But she lives in Missouri. And her mother hates me. And I just want to hold her in my arms and take care of her forever. Damn these state lines.

 

This internet cannot be any slower. My Scribblenauts Unlimited download is almost complete. <_>

 

I feel this way every time I'm around my parents. I keep waiting for the "right moment" even though I'm aware there might never be a perfect time. I should have done it the other night when my mom was telling me how worried she was about me and how she wants me to be happy and at peace. THAT was the moment...and I chickened out...

 

It bothers me when I see young people who do not understand how our government works.

 

I know, I've been waiting for the right moment for too long now. Actually I had the chance to tell one of my best friends the other day but I chickened out and I've been kicking myself since. He said "So how are you getting on with girls, or boys?" and it took me back that he mentioned boys (he's obviously noticed I haven't had a girlfriend in years :icon_bigg) but I just changed the conversation straight away :bang: That was the moment FFS and I missed it! Next time I swear I'll do it.

As for my parents I might just have to force the situation because I don't think the right time will ever come. It's killing me that nobody knows I need to get on with it.

 

What is that saying? Hindsight is 20/20...so very true. I"m feeling like I'll be happier if I start telling people, but I'm scared to. Eventually...right? One of my New Year's Resolutions is to come out to my parents and those closest to me...I'll probably be doing it on New Year's next year...lol. I'm SUCH a chicken...

 

Ha same. I actually made a reverse New Year's resolution to tell my Dad before the end of December but I've not got much time left

I'll try :icon_bigg

 

I love my new computer . Self-built. I feel accomplished xD lol...

 

This Christmas has been sucky.

 

Tell me about it, haha.`

 

Why did this bout of loneliness suddenly hit me?

 

don't really care for Christmas anymore... it's pretty much the only time i get homesick. i hate being homesick.

 

Sick of this year nothing went right for me this year, can't wait for the new year to start a new year a new me!!!

 

I don't quite know what to make of all this. I value education and professors. People keep telling me that they cover things up. Why? what possible motive would they have?

I hate how anytime i try to voice my belief i get yelled at by my family. No wonder I feel inadequate all the time

 

I hope my cousin doesn't have too bad of a drive from Cleveland in the morning. She had to work until 8 tonight, and figured it might be better to make the drive in the morning instead of tonight.

 

No you can't force me to go to bed at 11... 12 is a much better bedtime ;3
But I'm excited and my dad's girlfriend's family members (a few of them) gave me money and a gift card for christmas... guess who might be getting another pokemon game? (even though I got one last night, but it is getting closer to getting beat)

 

Eh, just want to sleep away life now.

 

I hate my life.

 

The news on the radio just said that some christian leader in the uk used his christmas speech to denounce gay marriage and my mum's boyfriend's reaction was 'Yeah, I loved that speech'.

So that made me miserable

---------- Post added 25th Dec 2012 at 11:46 AM ----------

Double post

I'm trying hard to have a good christmas but it's not really happening. This house doesn't feel like it's my home, I've lived here for 4 and 2 days weeks spread over the space of 5 months. My mum keeps alternating between calling me lazy, calling me difficult for not eating meat and making her cook me something separate (I offered to do my own food, she told me no) and telling embarrassing stories from my childhood about how I said weird things and barely had any friends (because she never noticed that I was a really unhappy child with lots of problems that better parents would have tried to sort out). My mum's boyfriend and his mum are here and they've both made homophobic comments today. I've never met his mum before yesterday and meeting new people makes me really anxious which is not nice at christmas.

I miss all my friends at university and I miss my Dad and baby half-sister who have moved to Germany. I saw them for a few days last week and felt more at home than I do here by miles and miles.

I don't feel like I'm home. I feel more sad and lonely than I have done since I left here. And I feel shitty because at the end of the day I have a big meal and loads of presents and the doctor who christmas special when loads of people have nothing and/or have much better, more real reasons to be sad than I do