What Are You Thinking?

I'm a wimp.

 

Can't sleep. The boyfriend is definitely far, far away. I doubt if I threw a glass of water in his face if he'd wake up. I won't try it, though.

Well, at least that means I can watch tv without him waking up. Yayy for Comedy Central in the middle of the night!

 

So many feelings, so many things happening in my life all at once, can't deal with it all. I'mma go cry now. :tears:

 

Why am I drinking coffee at 12:05 am????

 

I'm sick of being relationshipless

 

Why don't all men love dick?

 

I fucking hate nosebleeds.

 

I'm in a state of anxiety, primarily due to the upcoming interview,my frustration at my carelessness and foolish pride having cost me my six-months-straight perfect attendance streak at work. On top of that, I realized that, after having checked the email I set up primarily for job-hunting purposes (and subsequently, surprise surprise, failed to regularly check), I missed an opportunity to directly connect with a professional staffing firm contact person who addressed me personally in his email from about four months ago.

 

"Congratulations - you've been selected as a participant in SYN's Queer Youth on Air training program. We can't wait to have you as part of the SYN community."

So starting next month, I'm going to be a radio presenter.

 

Doing delivery runs. One place- notice no one. Second place- hot guys everywhere. Third place- a really hot girl has my eye. Gotta love the ebb and flow mayhem lol.

 

Ok so my interview today went great. This county's chief probation officer is the one doing the hiring. I submitted my resume this morning at about 8:30. She called me by 9:00 to tell me she wants to meet with me ASAP. She asked me a couple of questions and I totally handled them awesomely and I was charming and we just meshed really well over the phone. My next interview for the position is at 9:00 next Tuesday. I guess I'm going to get quizzed by all of their officers face-to-face which makes me really nervous but I have four days to study up on the material and the laws and stuff again...I think I can handle it.

The only sad thing is, I think if I get hired she wants to start me right away. Which is good, because it means money in my pocket and legitimate experience. I'll be able to start building my own life and stuff, totally independent. Love and I could finally get an apartment together. But the sad thing is that it means the end of my internship with my mentor and his partner. I won't have time to intern, work a full-time job, and go to school full-time on an overload schedule. And they're fine with that, my mentor actually already called the professor overseeing my internship at school to tell him to start transferring the paperwork over to my (hopeful at this point but basically guaranteed) new job. So, I will literally be making $17 an hour to go to school for my final semester. I'll be working and earning class credit at the same time. ^_^

...and, there's a new guy in my life already. Boys come and go like seasons. He actually ran for a state representative job in Ohio a while ago. He's not really old though, only 26. But he seems just...genuinely like a saint. He's out. He has a really nice smile. Snazzy dresser. He's the kind of guy that still believes in a white picket fence kind of life. I don't know if that's for me just yet but...we'll see I guess.

 

My computer seems to be working better since I've gotten home...Hope it stays that way. *knock on wood*

 

If I wasn't meeling 'bleh' enough already, my LGBT group has been canceled for this evening (Sigh.)

 

Maybe I'm less of a wimp than I thought...

 

So tired...I said I was going to go to Quiz Bowl, but I just don't know if I have it in me to walk half-way across campus and back, especially since it will be very cold.

 

i feel like crap and wowowow i haven't been to this website in forever

 

Can we just talk about his otherworldly eyes for a second...

 

this piece of shit who doesn't know how to drive nearly ran me over on my way home. i was already in the middle of the crosswalk, when a car (clearly going over the 25mph speed limit) nearly hit me. it stopped just in time and i turned to stare at the driver. she had the gall to sneer back at me. there is a traffic light less than a block from the crosswalk, so she must have just took off when the light turned green. the crosswalk i was using is very heavily used by mass transit commuters, so she was probably hoping to get through before another wave of pedestrians came, and wasn't really paying attention. i could forgive that, but having the balls to sneer at me for something that was ENTIRELY HER FAULT just makes me furious.

 

I need to get out of the house >_>.

 

I'm predicting that Eric will make a new "What Are You Thinking?" thread very soon!!