Corrupt A Wish

Granted, but a ceiling tile falls on top of you in your office and kills you.


I wish I could be where the people are (I'm stuck in my house).

 

The people are all locked in a burning building.

I wish I could be an expat!

 

Granted, you wind up moving to Tunisia.

I wish there were more hours in a day.

 

Granted, there are now a hundred hours in a day and you drop of exhaustion before nightfall.

I wish my cats would like each other more instead of barely tolerating each other.

 

Granted, they like each other so much, that they get it on and have kittens.

I wish the beach was 15 minutes away instead of 5 hours.

 

I wish to have the courage to come out of the closet

 

Granted, but the lock is sticky so you have to get it with a chainsaw first (if you have one in your closet, which is pretty worrying in itself).

I wish that I had something to do.

 

Granted, but you can no longer function in any way.

I wish that go to a My Chemical Romance concert *sobs hysterically*

 

Granted! You get to go, but the entire band is drugged by a mysterious chemical, causing them to play wildly out of tune, and be booed off the stage by an angry mob.

I wish I lived in Wales, and had a Welsh Terrier as a pet.

 

Granted, but you get there and you find out all the Welsh Terriers have rabies and that Wales transforms into a Whale...

I wish that I had money.

 

Granted. You win the lottery, but are quickly swindled out of your fortune, and end up deep in debt.

I wish I was the next Dr. Who.

 

Granted. But as soon as you step out of the Tardis, you begin to regenerate.

I wish I was a rockstar

 

Granted. You become so famous to the point paparazzi camp outside your house, your online history is hacked and taken to be spread to the public, you experience no source of privacy nor the ability to be outside in public.

I wish I could go travel overseas

 

Granted, you now travel over a bunch of C's

I wish my peanut butter didn't run out.

 

Granted, now your house and clothes are made of peanut butter.

I wish I was less afraid of confrontation sometimes. -.-

 

Granted, but now you're not afraid to confront a subway train at 100 km/hr

I wish there were a Chinese restaurant close to my house.

 

Granted! But they only sell dumplings made out of stray cats!

I wish i am eating a pint of vanilla ice cream right now!

 

Granted, it expired 3 months ago.

I wish James Franco would visit me in person and be nice.

 

Granted, but he's incredibly bitchy behind your back and then decides to bed all your friends.

I wish it would just be normal weather. 20 degrees, light breeze, no rain, nice walk around in jumper weather.

 

Granted, it stays like this until you run out of water and green vegetation/food (due to lack of rain).

I wish this game would never end.