BE HONEST: Does race matter when dating?

No.

 

I'm not necessarily talking about some hidden plot against certain races but, as pointed out numerous times, signs point to social upbringing heavily influencing this so called racial preference(cue the huge societal bias in favor of lighter skin tones). Of course it isn't for everybody, but it is something you can pontentially break yourself out of, should you at least try to see if your compatibility otherwise changes your perspective.

The thing is though, far from everyone has your line of thinking. As I pointed out before, it's not a simple 'oh, you look nice but unfortunately not my type' sort of thing, far too many emphasize on the fact that, because you're not the ideal skin tone to them, you're pretty much fugly and not even worth the time of day because of it in plenty of cases.

A good friend of mine had been talking to this guy who was unaware that he was mixed with black(he looks a lot closer to white) but figured he was mixed and eventually asked about it. The guy flat out said that, had he been fully black, it would have been an automatic deal breaker/he wouldn't consider dating him...and had the nerve to think it was funny. Fortunately, he was rightfully offended by that and dropped the guy.

Btw, I don't see how gingers are unattractive(though I am aware of the stigma they have). o_o Those who think they are are looney.

 

No, if I'm attracted to/like a person, I like them, no matter their race.

 

Again I'd disagree. If anything I probably been brought up with rather negative opinions towards middle-eastern men (the media and our society typically portrays them as violent and homophobic terrorists), yet I often find men of this ethnicity physically attractive.

On contrast I was raised (rather hippyish) to be very aware of the black civil rights movement, and black history yet I am not usually (but sometimes though) attracted to black men. Some people argue its all to do with childhood-exposure and that people date closest to what they know and are aware of, but I know far more black people than those with middle-eastern ethnicity. *shrugs*

I don't think its that easy. Can gay guys "break themselves out" of not finding women attractive - should they even if they could? Not finding women attractive does not automatically make a gay guy latently or subconsciously misogynistic. And vice versa a straight guy finding a woman attractive does not automatically make him philogynist - there are plenty of misogynistic straight guys.

Perhaps we are just looking into this too deeply instead of embracing the diversity of life. "Horses for courses", "whatever floats your boat" and all that jazz? I'm sure between us all there is enough love and attraction to cover all bases so I'm sure no-one will be left out! :icon_wink

 

I think that idea is a little risky, as surely the same could be applied to gender preference (i.e. sexuality). It seems to run a little too closely to Freud's idea of "latent bisexuality" (i.e. being born with a neutral preference and developing an attraction to one side or the other in childhood).

 

Sure it does. I have an incredibly strong preference for a very specific look. I don't think having a preference means that you are racist. I also don't believe that everyone can potentially be attracted to all looks.

 

And I love peanut butter, but hate Nutella. But between us we can ensure that both industries keep their profits up!

And besides, if everyone liked peanut butter there would be less for me which would be a terrible state of affairs! :icon_bigg

 

I'm sorry, but this is not risky; it is psychological fact. Sexual desire is innate. Various spikes in hormone production ignite carnal desires in the mind and encourage us to find a mate to satisfy those needs. The basic purpose is to encourage sexual activity throughout the populous of a species, which therefore encourages reproduction.

Physical attraction and "preference" are psychological factors, crafted by the environment of members in that populous. The reason why Resu found himself becoming more and more attracted to Caucasians is because the subconscious molds attractions to fall in line with environmental possibilities. The very idea that preference is innate is negated by the fact that a Caucasian born into a purely white world would never stop and think "If only people with brown skin existed, this paleness really isn't doing it for me". It will not happen.

Discrimination- the unjust or prejudicial treatment of different categories of people or things, especially on the grounds of race, age, or sex.

I'm just going to imagine that you are not trying to equate the distaste of a food product to the racial inequalities in society. The same race is not the default; the race the mind has been predominantly exposed to is. This is why even the majority of people of color assume that the main character is Caucasian when they read a book. Obviously it's not their fault, nor is it the fault of anyone is this thread that nearly all individuals who have admitted to hold a preference hold it for Caucasians.

No one is seeking to demonize anyone here, but the presence of these influences in our society is undebatable.

 

Such qualifications of attraction are subjective - in which case your comment actually goes toward highlighting the point of how being in a white-dominated society will often set relatively unconscious, "white/Eurocentric" feature preference as the definitive standard of beauty...

 

We can use whatever definition you wish; it doesn't dilute the vast insensitivity of that post. Equating your tastes in spread to the racial inequalities that Resu was referencing his response is ridiculous. It was not a just or even valid comparison, regardless of the usage, for reasons that I would sincerely hope you are privy enough to need elaboration as to why.

I am not dismissive of many posts, as I enjoy hearing from vary perspectives in discussions, and I'm sure that that comment was meant to be a bit tongue-and-check; however, being genuinely unable to see how silly it was is rather sad.