Reasons/Excuses why NOT to come out of that closet!

I was afraid to lose family. Although I haven't completely lost any family, relations have become strained with some of them, unfortunately, but others have been amazing, and in the end, I'm glad I did end up coming out and that everyone knows. If they can't be supportive of my being happy because it's with a girl, then that is their problem, not mine.

 

I'm scared of change.. I want it, but I'm scared to have it.

 

Parents supporting me financially, and they will pay for my car and college. I will most likely be kicked out when I turn 18, and not receive any financial help or ever be welcomed back home again after.

Yeah, that about 'sums it up.

 

Fear of my existing relationships--especially the ones with my parents--changing.

 

It's not fear at all for me, I don't think.

-It's more fun being in a secret relationship
-I never talked to my parents about my love life before so why start now?
-I see no reason anyone should need to know who I want to have sex with

 

Because I'm hoping I'll find Narnia at the back of the closet?

 

Fear, mostly. I'm afraid i'm wrong again. I'm afraid i'll be seen as a vicious whore. I'm afraid of people looking at me and saying "omg she's not normal." So.. its the closet for me until I the urge to be out is greater than the fear. In other words, college. lol

 

Right now the only reason is that there is a risk of being thrown out and cut off. My dad is quite stubborn: he doesn't like admitting he's wrong. If he was upset, he'd carry a grudge for years. So I'd rather wait until I'm not dependent on the income of my parents.

 

most ppl i know are homophobes

 

I've been thinking a lot about the reasons that are still keeping me inside, and I think the thing that is holding me back the most is a fear of the fact that I will never be able to have a normal relationship. As in normal I don't mean a straight relationship, with normal I mean a relationship, I'd be able to happily share with anyone without them thinking of us as something wrong. Cause where I live, people still look at any non-straight interactions with disgust. I would just want to be able to be free of any looks of disaproval or disapointment, once I'm with someone, and I would like to be able to show my affection to that person no matter who is around us, just like everyone else around me can, with them being accpeting and not bothered at all. But I just know that this will never happen. So this is what's holding me back the most, knowing I can never be free like that.

 

because if my dad rejected me i would apart

 

Actually, this post inspired me, and I just ended up coming out to my mom! She was kind of shocked, but she told me she still loves me and that she's glad I told her. It really wasn't as bad as I thought. Sure, I cried and couldn't think straight for the next couple Of hours, but I feel as though im being more true to myself now.
My dad is going to be hard to tell as he is extremely homophobic, but I'll cross that bridge when I get there. Right now, I'm just happy as who I am

 

This...

 

Congrats Shshgr on coming out to your mother! (*hug*) I'm glad that you gave up on Narnia. :icon_wink

My reason for holding back in coming out:
I'm scared of labeling myself. It's like locking yourself in a filing cabinet, the moment I tell someone that will be the way they always see me. I also compare it too jumping off the high diving board, once you speak it aloud you can't go back, you're past the point of no return. I find that scary, and so whenever I come out to people I beat around the bush a lot, trying to leave myself an escape route.

 

Mostly-- being wrong about transitioning. But I won't deny there's a substantial amount of fear there, not only rejection from family, but physical safety fear. I do not live in an open and accepting area.

 

I am afraid of losing my family and friends

 

I'll be disowned and penniless. I don't have any friends either so me not coming out is simply down to survival. But once I can support myself, I'm leaving and I'll never speak to my family again.

 

Agreed. This is the biggest thing for me. I don't think I have to worry about being rejected by my family, but of course they will look at me differently, which I can't stand.

 

My parents would disown me, stop talking to me and be embarrassed of me. I know this will happen because I have gay cousins and my family hasn't talked to them since they came out not just my parents but pretty much everyone on my family including his own mother. So That's what's keeping me in deep in my closet