I kind of entertained the idea throughout middle school, but just ignored it until about the end of freshman year and then I was definitely sure of it. But like most people, I look back and realize it was so totally obvious it's ridiculous I didn't realize it sooner.
Within the last five years I've known. When I was younger, I would make 'feminine' hand movements or whatever my aunt would call me out on and she would give my brother and I the 'lecture' of what being gay would do since she is a minister. It was a gradual process and I'm still accepting it but I'm pretty sure it will get easier to tell others of my sexuality.
This is going to sound weird, but I literally had NO clue until I was 20. I'm simply not very visually attuned. I don't take in information visually all that well. I was plenty horny as a teenager, but it was...non-directional. I wanted to have sex, but not WITH anybody. I convinced myself I hadn't found a girl to really float my boat, so I just bided my time, and waited. At age 20, I was starting to get pissed. I still hadn't met a girl that got me hot and bothered. I was beginning to think something was wrong with me. Then, one day, I had a thought. "Maybe I'm gay." It seemed silly. Not because I felt I couldn't be gay, but wouldn't I KNOW? Wouldn't I have some sort of inkling? Well, no harm in giving it a try. It was spring, and warm outside, so I went outside and sat down in front of my dorm. I decided I'd just try looking at some guys in a vaguely sexually way, and see what happened. I was sitting there for a couple minutes when a guy jogged by wearing nothing buy shortish black shorts. He was slightly ripped, not very hairy, kinda tan, looked pretty good. I sort of surreptitiously watched him approach, then ogled him more intently after he passed. ...and I sprung MAJOR wood. I'm surprised I didn't rip my pants open. I very nearly yelled out "Holy shit, I'm GAY!" The thought didn't scare me. But I still didn't tell anybody for a while. I wanted to be sure, so I switched to fantasizing about guys instead of girls. And boy, did my sex drive spike something fierce. I think I may have skipped a class or two in the next few days while I got a grip my libido. After a few months, I realized "Well, this isn't just some phase" and I started working on coming out. Lex
I was a wee bit of a late bloomer. I blame my horridly low self esteem issues. The thought didn't even occur to me until high school, and when it did, it was more, "Oh, that'd be cool, but I couldn't possibly be interesting enough to be gay." I sorta figured that I didn't have anything another girl could be interested in, so why even bother, and even then figured my only value to guys would be the whole "vagina" thing. Not that I was overly thrilled about that, I just sort of accepted it as a fact of life. I'd accepted the ultimate goal of relationships to be baby-making, because why the hell else would anyone want me? I wanted to be gay! I got incredibly jealous of my friends when they'd hold hands and pretend to be a lesbian couple in public. I'd get jealous of other couples, in that, "Oh, I wish I had somebody" way, but when my female friends held hands? So jealous I could barely stand it. I'd wonder if anyone thought I was a lesbian, and got all tingly when my best friend would answer the phone with, "Hey, lesbian!" Theeen for a while, I figured I was mostly into guys but if it turned out that my soulmate was a girl, then I'd be hunky-dory with it! But mostly thinking about it made me anxious and I didn't do that much. Then I got to college, and in my first semester, I developed a crush on a female teacher so strong that I could barely even speak to her. I had this, "oh my god, this is happening" moment. Even after that, it took me three years and counseling to figure everything out. I didn't really come out to myself until I was 21, even though I'd been struggling with it since high school.
it wasn't till i was 17 (apparently I am late at this >.> ). while sneaking a peek at dad's porn collection, it was focusing on the girl and I thought dad would be home soon, and I thought to myself "just show me the dick" and that pretty much settled it since no one else can control thoughts. I started doing some proper research and that's how I've come to the conclusion that I like males considerably more that females.
When I was like 19. I used to have crushes on guys, but never really wanted to do any more than kissing with them.
I've always been a lot more interested in guys than girls. It didn't turn sexual until puberty obviously. I didn't know it was abnormal..I thought everyone was like that until sex ed. o.o So..always?
I had an idea way back when I was 6 or 7 that I'd be totally happy with a woman in the future, but I never thought much of it. I didn't associate it with the concept of being gay at all until I was 12 or 13 and developed a crush on my best friend (my first intimate friendship with a girl, who happened to be uber gorgeous, right about the time my hormones started kicking in...) and promptly buried my head in the sand. I accepted "okay, so maybe I'm bi" when I was about 15, and realised I'm not into guys at all at 16 or 17.
:smilewavemy story's just about the same. I tried going with the flow and getting a girlfriend but it was kinda akward because i didn't really have the slightest feeling for her. Then i started noticing things about me (besides finding others boys attractive :lol that gave me and i'm pretty sure other people a big clue of who i was.
You know, this thread really started me thinking... And although I'm not /at all/ comfortable with the thought of perhaps being anything other than straight...I realise that when I used to watch Star Trek: Next Gen at my auntie's house, I noticed both Riker and Crusher. I was younger than 7, I know that.
My first ever crush was on some older girl at my primary school. I think I was about 6? I used to follow her around all the time - she must have got so annoyed by me, bless her. I had several more crushes, but when I was about 12 I realized what these crushes actually were. That freaked me out and I pushed it to the back of my mind (and still continued to have crushes) until the whole Emily/ Naomi thing on Skins. I was watching it and suddenly thought 'Woooah, that's what I want."
First time was around year 6 when I had a small crush on a guy, but then dismissed it then When by friends were acting guy it turn me on but I ignored it, then this year around my birthday (February) I wounded and I look at some gay porn and I liked I thought I was bi But Know I know I am most certainly gay.
I realised that i liked guys when i was about 12, when i hit puberty just like pretty much any other straight/bi/gay person. In hindsight i was always (emotionally) attracted to guys, just didn't realise it would one day be sexual feelings. And i realised i most probably liked girls like errr.... a few days ago through some drunken moments that weren't as meaningless as they normally are. I'm pretty sure i prefer guys so much more though, which is a good thing because i came out/was outed as gay though now no-one believes me, accusing me of being a "closet-straight". :/
well then I was 13 I started noticing thius cute boy Chaz, when he was noticing Amy. I knew then, but fought it for about 15 years before accepting it
To me, there was quite a big disconnect between realizing I liked guys, and realizing I was gay. In retrospect, I probably did have some kind of mini-crushes on some guys in primary school. Though I was also crushing a lot on one girl there. However, the moment I really fell for a guy and realized it, was when I was 12-13. There was this new boy on the playground, and I just instantly fell for him. Over the next few years I noticed more and more that guys pushed some buttons that girls just didn’t. However, this didn’t translate into me realizing I was gay. Most sex ed. material that I could get my hands on (and the little sex ed. we got in school) stressed that it was, in most cases, just a phase. So to my mind, it always was just a phase. Something that I could work through. So even while looking at guys, even while looking at gay porn, I kept convincing myself that this was all just a phase, and that sometime soon, I would wake up, crush on girls, and start leading the perfect heterosexual life. And then, after I got a job, I suddenly had a lot of commuting to do. By train, which left me a lot of time to think. One day, while on my way home; I just suddenly thought: “let’s face it, Filip. Phases don’t take ten years. You’re 24. Puberty has been over for years now. You’re not going to wake up liking girls one day. You’re gay, OK?” I even typed it on my laptop, and seeing it written there just suddenly made it all click. Afterwards, I started looking at coming-out stories, lurking on here, and seriously considering telling some friends. It still took some months, of mostly agonizing about who to tell and when, but looking back, it went pretty smoothly, compared to the angst that came before…
I remember when I was five I would imagine my friend as a boy because that made her nicer to look at. I knew then that I was something different. I wanted to be a girl back then (I went around the playground saying that I wanted to be a girl. I was definitely 5 then) because I thought that only girls could like boys. I also drew silly conclusions, like I thought a scar on my hand was proof of my difference so I pulled my sleeves over my hands. And I still do to this day~. So I knew forever. Before I was five. I was also having sexual dreams involving boys at an extremely young age, even before I understood the mechanics of sex. And I've never really understood that, because looking back I think I was very sexual-ish at a very young age. It's only in the past couple of years that I've struggled to figure my sexuality out—as in I might be less gay than I've always thought.
I didn't realize until I was about 12-13. There were signs in my childhood but I never paid any attention to them until later.
I dunno. I think I always subconsciously knew. I had sex with girls and it was ok but nothing that great or exciting for me. I was just doing it cuz it was the normal thing to do, I think. And then I was sort of 95% sure when I was like 18 or 19 and then when I was 21, an awkward situation with a friend made it VERY clear to me that I was def gay and I accepted it.
