Would religious people date atheists/agnostics?

I'm technically religious, as I believe in a higher being. However, I'm not a practicing follower of any organization of it. So I'm free to develop beliefs independently (voted for option 1), as well as date from either group.

That freedom also lets me adjust to beliefs of others. Some I know are hardcore atheist, so I can talk to them about scientific topics/ the silliness of religion. Other friends are hardcore Christian, so I talk to them about God.

The relationship question, however, hinges on how "in your face" they are about it. If somebody refrains from abusing me (or anyone else) over belief, great. If they get militant, though, the deal's off. I only date good people, and one who would use religion as an excuse to make life hard for others is not it.

 

Religious? Or spiritual? "Religious" people would have trouble with this. Also, I think it has to do with age/crisis moments. I think that younger people, as it should be, don't think they are going to die. They don't see life as being very short. Older folks, however, see that time isn't as long as it was. They make moments last, but they have seen what can happen. (Granted, this can happen at any age - I'm just generalizing, here.)

I don't have a preference in terms of religion. But I think it would be a long-term deal breaker for me. I do believe in the after-life. I do believe that there's someone we all go that is full of love and light. I've seen a lot of relatives die, specifically ones I was very close to. It's gotten me through, knowing I'll see them again.

 

I'm a very lax Catholic spiritually (almost to the point of Agnosticism), but I do believe in helping the community the way the Catholic church does, and praying for people other than myself. I don't really care about a person's religion. It's their belief, and they are entitled to believe in it.

 

same. l have dated a religious person. But most of my friends have just ended up being atheist and we never even really discussed it.

As long as someone l'm close to doesn't believe l'm going to burn in the fiery pits of hell l'm fine.

l still never was 100% convinced that my ex 'literally" believed in god but l get the motivation behind it and wasn't going to troll him about it. The atheist obsession with believers isn't something l can relate to.

 

I would not mind it one bit if I dated a religious person. However, I will go to church if I feel like going with him. I'm an atheist, but sometimes commitment comes with a price. He can skip church and go with me somewhere to do stuff. I can skip my plans for Sunday morning and go to church with him. I would be a weird person to date. O_O

 

I am an atheist. Yes, that's right. I know some of you stated that you wouldn't date me. This is too damn bad since I am hot...

But, it's not that I lack the capacity or am too arrogant to believe in a higher power... No. It's that I did for years, and if I continued to do so I would continue hating myself and others like me for a reasoning I found increasingly shaky, primitive, and archaic. That, and if I continued in my belief I would simply have to hate "god" for being a bastard and a hypocrite.

But fear not: I would have just as hard a time dating a Christian ( most other religions don't bother me) as you all would dating me! Now that I rejected my faith and it seems so obvious to me now, I don't understand those who still cling to the hope that, not only is there a god, but he loves them. I realize it is comforting and beautiful, I remember well... But I can't understand it anymore. So can I be friends with Christians? Sure, I am with lots of them. Could I date one? Probably not.

So yeah, sorry to be heretical and soulless, but there it is. I am sure I will find godless love somewhere though; so I don't feel too terribly rejected.

Blasphemously yours,

The Seeker

 

says in the Bible to not be unevenly yoked. if a person is too different in how to live life raise kids and other stuff, eventually one of the spouses must cave in to their beliefs or they end up fighting and divorce. Seen the ones who dont divorce, poor kids!

---------- Post added 13th Feb 2013 at 11:39 PM ----------

^ that kinda talk is what sends chills through me...why i never ever want to leave Christianity, I dont wanna become like that.

 

Feel free to elaborate on what you mean by "that kind of talk"...

You don't want to be like what? Happy? Fulfilled? Comfortable in your sense of self? Because that us precisely how I feel since walking away from the single greatest remaining source of intolerance, hatred, and bigotry left in our society. Honestly, most of us were driven to seek answers here on EC because of some kind of religion inspired self loathing... Do I hate the religious? No. But I am not a fan of the religion itself.

Do I resent what you said? Sure. Am I surprised? No. But I agree that being "unevenly yoked" makes no sense. Especially when half of the team is trying to move forward whilst the other half either digs in its heels or tries to drag the whole wagon backward with it...

-The Seeker

 

I'm a secular humanist and I have a couple guidelines:
-You can't think I would be happier or more moral with your religious beliefs.
-You can't think I'm going to hell.
-You want to raise our kids as neutral and support them in any religious beliefs they choose (providing it's not a cult).
-You can't pressure me to go to your religious gathering.

I see religious beliefs as a personal journey. I support whichever beliefs make someone a moral and happy person. I think religion is manmade, though, so they'd have to not be insulted by that.

I would have just as much trouble dating a zealous irreligious person as a zealous religious person. Especially when it comes to raising kids. I don't believe in forcing kids to believe in something or not and then disown / continually harass them for having different beliefs. I'm saying this as someone who comes from a zealous Christian family and can never come out as secular humanist without it being one of the 'worst' crises ever (as if being queer and polyamorous wasn't crisis enough).

---------- Post added 14th Feb 2013 at 04:56 AM ----------

This alone makes me wish I wasn't a physicalist. I would love to think that my loved ones would be going to a better place and that I'd see them again someday. Even if it didn't happen, at least I'd believe it would...

The flip side is believeing in a hell would suck.

 

Depends on the person, religion is often a major aspect of people's lives and for the pure reason of comparability many don't connect well with people from other faiths.

 

Well, as an atheist, I live in a close minded community, and I cannot discuss anything related to religion, cannot question anything at all, religion is to be accepted as is, and talking about sexuality is highly frowned upon.

So, if I were to speak in the name of the theist people living in my country, being atheist would be a huge turn off, you do get killed when you announce that stuff here.

 

Well faith need not be one of two diametrical poles either. I was raised a casual Christian, and was given no reason not to believe in Jesus as he's written. Though I eventually came around to thinking "those stories do not sound Godly to me" and dismissed them. But I have learned too much about the universe to conclude that no higher power created it and the natural laws it follows.

So I went my own way. It's technically heretical, but thankfully we don't kill people for that anymore. America's nice sometimes.

 

No I couldn't date an atheist, it's something that is important to me and takes upa lot of my time and if I couldn't share that with a partner then that would be excluding them from a large part of my life and I don't think that's fair. Also I dated an atheist once... the arguments were messsyyyyy

 

l hear what you say. You aren't ranting against the believers though.

That's the only way l can make sense of people who do, by assuming they probably used to believe pretty deeply. l just rejected it at like 7 but my family were really not affiliated with anything.

But it's nice t see someone be open about the way their beliefs changed instead of ranting against religion in general and belittling anyone who could ever believe any of it. So if you're being obstinate or ''scary'' l can't imagine how people react to the militant atheists

But l never had the experience of anyone turning against me for not believing, etc. l can understand how l'd be resentful if l had.

 

I'm an atheist, and as long as they didn't shove their beliefs down my throat, and respected mine, I'd date a religious person :3

 

Hey all,

Thanks for those of you who responded favorably to my post, as inappropriate as it was. I could have worded it better I know. I am also glad that it was noted that I wasn't ranting against believers.

What I am sharing below is a response I drafted to some questions posed to me privately. I decided to post it here, slightly edited, because it illustrates in large part why this thread, and many of its responses, makes me rather upset:


I don't hate anybody. I strongly dislike most exclusive religions (like christianity), not because they exist, but for all the strife and discord that has been spread under the banner of heaven. If you are "different" (i.e. queer), then there will always be a faction that wishes to cast you out. I may not like those people, but I sure as hell won't try to beat any of them to death, drag them behind my truck, or light them on fire (listing american hate crimes against people in the LGBT community perpetrated by self-proclaimed christians).

So, why does that thread make me angry? Hmmm... It's because so many of us here (myself included) came to EC for solace after being driven out or hurt by the christian community. I lost my faith in the process, hearing all of the anti-gay crap so many were spewing. So, after all that, and after wanting so long to just be accepted, I then get to read post after post of anti-atheist crap! In a place that I actually considered safe! What makes me angry in particular is that, not only did christianity and its followers cause me pain for years on end, but now that I finally found the strength to break those chains I get to read posts about people not being able to be with "my kind"?!? What?! Does that sound even remotely familiar to you?

So no, I didn't come out and dump god. I lost my faith (while serving in Africa) and then realized that I was no longer terrified to be Queer. THEN I came out. I don't smirk in superiority, but I do seethe in anger when I see religion scoring yet another victory in what is supposed to be a safe haven.

My happiness at leaving god behind is not fake, you can believe whatever you want though. I have never felt so... free, as I have since losing my faith. But while I am happy in myself, I am also filled with anger and disbelief at what continues to happen every day in my society in the name of god.

I know this still won't make any sense. It wouldn't have made much sense to me when I had my faith intact. But I wanted to be honest here.

Yes, I am sad that you fear to be like me, and I am upset that so many here on EC would never, ever date me because I am an atheist (combine that with being Bi and I am pretty much rejected ten for ten). And of course, I saw what you saw. It was out of line the way I responded to that thread. I could have said the same thing with much more tact and elicited a different response.

But why can religious folks get up in arms and defensive of their faith and be considered "righteous" and atheists are just considered assholes for saying the exact same thing. It's a double standard.

-The Seeker

 

As an atheist, I could date someone who was religious. If she respects my beliefs, I'll respect hers. It might get a little iffy sometimes, though, because I have a big mouth and I don't always think before I speak. But if it wasn't about her faith, I'm sure I would put my foot in my mouth for a different reason, so it really doesn't matter.

 

I'd be fine with dating an agnostic/atheist, so long as my beliefs were respected and they didn't attempt to shove their beliefs down my throat. I've had enough of being told what to believe and how to believe in my life, so it would be a deal breaker for me if that happened again.

 

We really need more people like this in our world. All we need is a pinch of empathy and respect.

 

Im Catholic and it seems like everyone i date is athiest or agnostic despite the fact that im in a catholic school. One of my boyfriends loved to get in debates and to be correct and that was very difficult when we would get into religious discussions. I had to be careful to not bring up something that's a part of me and that was really hard. But except him, ive never had a problem.