What should I think about my bestfriend?

Hi again! I got news! Well, we're in England for a week and everything is really weird and confusing but here it is .

The first day we meet we hugged like three or four times, that's totally weird for us, and also he put his arm around me in one moment but then he move his arm away. I told him I missed him a lot and he told me he's missed me too. The bad thing of that day, he told he f*ck a girl some weeks ago without even knowing her. But as he told me, he felt weird because they just meet and f*ck. He told me that days after that the girl try to talk to him but he didn't know if he would reply her. He also told me that he spent a lot of time until cum, and he found that really weird becuase he has not f*cked for a really long time but he was drunk so it's not that weird. So, I don't know what to think.

Despite all of that, we met other day and he was really touchy feely. We hugged like 3 times too, even one time one of his new friends looked at us like "what are they doing?". Then, we were at a disco and he had a really weird and thick stick with a light in it (? I don't even know why that was there), and he suddenly put that stick like it was his dick and looked at me; in other time, he looked at me and acted like the stick was a dick and he was licking. Then, he whishpered me "that's my dick". I know all the people around us where joking, dancing and drunken but that kind of behavior is what I mean about the sexual tension. I don't know how normal that kind of jokes are. Also, in the first day we meet I made a comment about how good looking a guy was to make thinks more relaxed about sexuality as you all had told me

And yesterday, it was supposted to be a day where we had plans, but he forget it, and made plans with his new friends. I felt TOTALLY DEPRESSED and I told him today that what he did was wrong and hurt me, I told him that I was only telling him he hurt me becuase I appreciate him a lot, if I dont appreciate him as I do, I would nver tell him how I felt. He apoloziged for what he did a lot, and tomorrow we're going to meet again alone.

Any thought??? thanks guys I don't know what to think, I would like to give up but then I feel good just being near him... But as I had read in some threats here, straight crush are confusing and make you spent a lot of time guessing things... So :eusa_doh:

 

Hello again!

Well, I have been yesterday with him almost all the time and it was really confusing. We spoke about the girl who fucked him, and he told me he doesn't want to see her again. I asked him why and he told me when he fucks a girl, he doesn't want to see her again because he feels weird. I told him if I were him I would try to know her better because maybe she is a good girl or whatever, but he insists he doesn't want to see her again ever.

Then we drank a lot and we ended in a disco. He was the one who wants me to get drunk and made me drink all the time. He told me he wanted to go to my flat because he wants to uses the bathroom. We joked how we'll getting fuck on my flat. In one moment at the disco was playing a song, I don't remeber the name, and the lyrics were a little bit deeper than usual and he put his arm around me. Then I was sit and he suddlenly put his butt in front of my face like doing twerking ( hahaha okay that's really weird).

Then, we talked about how big our dicks are comparing to average (he's 17cm, as he had told me, and I'm 18'5 cm, SO we are not that big but more than average [13cm?]). i don't know why I said this now but I don't think anybody here would feel awkward about our dick's sizes. Then, we went to a some Burger King and he went to the bathroom and I told him "take a picture of your dick in the bathroom". When he came back he showed me a picture of his finger hanging out of this pants like it was his dick. At first sight, I though it was his dick.

We were in the street and we started comparing the bulge of some guys to see if they got a bigger dick. Seriously that was funny but now I think about it and it's REALLY WEIRD and NOT STRAIGHT hahahaha He said like 3 times "fuck I want my dick sucked!!" and we also talked about how good looking some guys were, but it was just a few comments not something really serious. Then, we were going to my flat and he said things like "So, in that flat is where you're going to suck my dick, right?" and I said "No, we're just going to fuck in the bathroom".

In the flat we joked about the same sexual things and then we started to watch some photos of his trip with his family. But suddenly he wanted to watch porn. And we spent more than one hour watching straight porn. When we were watching at first we were lying in the bed REALLY CLOSED TO EACH OTHER, like our hands or arms were touching and even our faces were really closed. I don't get hard so easily just from watching porn, I need something more, but in the moment I was feeling that I was getting hard and I think he also was feeling the same becuase he changed the position to hide his crotch. Then after commenting all the things that appears in the differents videos he wanted to return to his place. I told him to stay here because it would be better for him. But he insisted he want to return to his and said "You know what, I just want to sleep but when I arriave I will jerk off, like seriously". I told him I was too tired to do that when he leaves but maybe tomorrow I'll do it.

Well, today I told him via facebook yesterday was really great and thank him for his company, and he told me the same. Then I told him "you only have to thank me the porn" and he said "that's true, dude!"

Seriously I think we are REALLY FRUSTRATED about SEX and also we are really curious about each other but we won't admit that easy :eusa_doh: And also, I have to say that we talked about some hot girls we saw.

What do you think? Seriously I need some advice becuase I don't know what going on with all of this, so please comment!! (&&&)

 

Do you really think so? I feel sometimes like he wants to try something with me but I don't know, everything is really weird. I have seen him being really touchy feely with some girl but then he said he doesn't like them, so it's more confusing becuase I don't know if he just sees friendship like this or our friendship is different. Today he invite me to meet him and his new friends. So, I'll tell here what happens

---------- Post added 11th Sep 2014 at 01:56 AM ----------

Yeah, I don't think that "experimenting" with your body (regarding about playing with your butt) is something gay because it's just your body and your own pleasure. But indeed, being curious is other thing.

Regarding being turned on by his own body in the mirror, do you think that's not gay? I mean... When I was younger and I jerked off watching myself in the mirror my thought was something like "look, that body is naked, that's hot, look at that cock, look at that butt" so, indeed it's all about a male body, not female body. I don't think he could find his body feminine because he is really masculine and hairy. Do you know what I mean? But and the end of the day, it's just his own relationship between him and what he likes, so I can't judge if that is gay, narcissism or just being turned on by everything.

Thanks for your replies, I really appreciated, don't hesitate to type more replies :eusa_danc

 

As I said before he invited me to meet him and his new friends but I don't want to spent more money in a random disco because I'll be late and everybody must be drunk when I arrive, so I tell him I better stay at home. I thanked him for invite me and today I even feel a litlle bit more stable and not depressed than usual, so I thanked him for the help he gave me.

I would like to say to him that I want to meet him tomorrow or the weekend but I feel like it could be a little bit insistent for him.

Thanks for reading and don't hesistate to reply something

 

He replies me he wants me to go to the party! Fuck, I should go but it was too late to go and he just said that I don't have to worry about, we could meet another day with a blushed emoji, then we joked about some things and that's all. I'll try to tell to dinner tomorrow with him.

And also I remember that the other day, when we were watching the photos if he appeared in a photo I told to him "you look good here!" "how cute in this!" and this kind of comment. Then when I appeared in other photos I said: "I don't like my look in this I prefer other photos" and he always said: "you look good! look at your skin is perfect" and even after I said anything about the photo he said I look good.

Don't hesitate to comment something (*hug*)

 

Hi! Thanks for your advice guys! I don't really know what to think about him but yesterday I meet him with his new friends. We get really drunk but he didn't spend time with me at all, just in a few moments and I even told him friendly "don't leave alone with these people I don't know them" but he left me. But indeed it wasn't that bad.

He told me that he misses one of his girl friends because she would be in other country like one year studying, so they won't see each other in a really long time. He told me now they treat each other sometimes like a couple. I asked him how much he like her and he told me 9 out 10. I was smiling but I felt a little bit bad inside. :icon_sad: But I don't know if I have to really believe him because we were in front of a lot of people and then I heard him telling one of his new friends that girl was his girlfriend where we live and they had fucked sometimes and that was totally a lie because he even told me before that one time the girl wanted to fuck and he can't because of the condom (a really weird story and not make sense in some points to me but I can understand if he don't want to fuck his friend).

So, I don't know what to think. I really want to give up this kind of love for him because I'm spending a lot of time thinking about a delusion love :eusa_doh: Also, I saw him being really affective with everybody as he was with me before. I should move on and just stay as bestfriends.... :eusa_doh:

 

Thanks EpicConfusion! Sadly but I think it's the better choice I could make.

Yesterday I told him if he wants to do something because we're in other country, but he didn't even reply my message although he has read it, so I should totally give up. Today I want to do something too but as he didn't reply me I guess he probably make plans with his "new friends" here (as they were more important than his bestfriend from years... :dry and that make feel a little bit lonely but I should just move on :eusa_doh: :icon_sad:

 

Hi, I told him yesterday I felt a little bit disappointed about him because we are in other country and we never did things together and that make me feel more lonely, also I asked him what he thinks about me...if I'm his bestfriend or just a really good friend who trust in this moment, because for me, I had never had a bestfriend like him (I told that to thim too). Then I told him that I want to solve my problems with depression with professional help but if I keep feeling disappointed about him I don't know if I could becuase if I distance myself from him I would feel more lonely and that would make me more weak mentaly. So, then he told me he's really sorry about that, sorry for not holding down my expectation about this, he really have tried his best to do things with me... He told me that I'm one of his bestfriend because he have told me things that nobody knows.

And we have meet other days and he kept all the time saying gay jokes about how I would suck his dick or things like that, like we were with his "new" friends and he whisper to me while laughing "you'd lick my balls" but trying nobody hear him.

So thats all... I think I should just give up but :eusa_doh: However, my conception of him have really change and I don't see him as ideal as I see him before, so that's a really good change for me to move on

 

hello again!
well, the relationship between my bestfriend and me has been getting more weird than before. He has been in some affairs with some girls but he didn't tell me too much about it (really weird because we talk about everything). Then, our conversations about sex or jokes have been getting more and more sexual, like seriously. We REALLY TALK about sucking our dicks and this kind of stuff. Like for example, he told me he spent a lot of days without jerking off and the day he jerked off he bravely saw the stars, and I told to him "oh, did you though of me in that moment?" and he said "no dumb, I though about asphyxiate you" and I said "with your dick?" and he said "for sure, with my dick", and then I said "that's means you though about me in that moment" and he just laught. And before that we were (like 30minutes) talking about the sizes of our dick with a lot of details. What should I think?

I feel like he is getting a little bit unconfortable these days about the intimacity of our friendship, so I think I should give him some spaces , what do you guys think?

 

thanks for the advice guys! I'll give him some space but tomorrow we're going to talk about some problems I had with my family (one person of my family attempted suicide). Not too much, I don't want him to feel uncomfortable.

Yesterday was a really weird day because I was pretty sad about my family problems and told him I want to talk to him about it, he said he was not sure about doing it, then he didn't answer my message and after we meet he said he didn't want in that moment because he was tired. I felt a little bit disapointed because he was really cold to me but I can understand he was tired.

Today he told me thought a message he didn't want to talk yesterday because he couldn't be that receptive because he was tired, and after that he did not reply to any other message I sent to him (I try to change the subject talking about random stuff).

I think he's probably feeling REALLY uncomfortable about me. Hope he is not angry about me or anything... :icon_sad:

---------- Post added 18th Jan 2015 at 06:25 PM ----------

well, after posting here he reply me really kindly and told me to meet again.

 

Hi again!

My bestfriend is still pretty weird to me. We meet this week but after we meet he didn't reply some message. We still didn't talk about my family problems although I really hope so... I'm in a really hard moment in my life right now, and feel pretty guilty for almost everything and telling I'm not fine to him because it's like giving him a pressure for my problems. So, I don't know what to do.

I'm trying to give him spaces, but it feels more like being forgotten sometimes because he reply other people in front of me, but not mines. When we are with other people, he almost didn't talk to me, when we said goodbye he was pretty cold, like a totally normal bye you said to a classmate (well, I felt pretty depressed so I wasn't even talking to anyone in these moments tho, so it's not all his fault because I was in my sad shy mode).

And this week one of our friends told him he was gay (we already know) and he didn't even tell me that, and today I asked him about it and he told me "oh yes, he told me the day before we meet".

What should I do? I'm pretty tired of my delusional love to him and indeed tired of my life. I even want to talk to him that sometimes I feel suicidal but even saying here it's insane to me. :icon_sad: p.s: sorry for my english grammar mistakes