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Question for Bisexuals

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by BiBoyToy, Feb 12, 2021.

  1. BiBoyToy

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    How would you describe/define (in detail) your bisexuality?

    Here are a few questions to consider:

    Do you prefer women, men, 50/50?

    Who are you more emotionally attracted to?

    Who are you more sexually attracted to?

    Who are you more physically attracted to?

    Who have you enjoyed your sexual experiences with more?

    Who do you prefer dating?

    Who have you had more crushes on?

    Who are you currently dating?
     
  2. eastrevolt

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    I personally don't really like thinking about all those specifics. I just say that I'm attracted to all genders. But I'll try my best to answer your questions anyway.

    My preference seems to fluctuate every so often, so I don't really have a set favourite. Therefore the one I'm more emotionally and sexually attracted to changes depending on my current preferences.

    My only sexual experiences that have been consensual have been with a AFAB nonbinary person who at the time identified as more masculine than feminine, and a cis woman, so my only experience has been with AFAB folks. So I can't really compare to AMAB folks. Between the two I preferred the nonbinary person, but that's likely because I loved and trusted them more and we had more sexual chemistry rather than because of their gender. Despite my lack of consensual experience with AMAB folks I'd probably say I prefer AFAB folks of any gender as sexual partners because of my traumatic sexual experiences with cis men making it difficult for me to handle that set of genitals.

    Likewise I've never dated anyone but those two people so I can't really say which genders I prefer dating. The crushes I've had are few and far between but no one gender has come up more than others.

    I'm not currently dating anyone but myself.
     
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  3. BiBoyToy

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    Thank you. I appreciate your willingness to answer this question. I'm also bisexual, but just recently came to fully accept it. I know labels don't matter, however, these questions have been weighing heavy on my mind. I think it has to do with clarity and better understanding my sexuality. I have found hearing from other bisexuals helps a lot.

    If you don't mind, may I ask why you don't like thinking about these specific questions?
     
    #3 BiBoyToy, Feb 13, 2021
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  4. BiBoyToy

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    I would also enjoy hearing from people that are still questioning their sexual orientation. Perhaps answering these questions can help you further determine whether you're straight, gay, bisexual, pansexual, etc.
     
  5. BiBoyToy

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    For clarification, I would recommend you change your sexual orientation to 'other'. Bisexual and pansexual are very different.
     
  6. BiBoyToy

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    I really don't mean hard feelings. It's more about clarification.
     
  7. QuietPeace

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    I am not actually bisexual. I am demisexual and panromantic.

    I prefer people who are kind to me and are open and honest. Someone who is into sharing and also likes to cuddle (I do not use the word cuddle as a euphemism for sex, if I want to talk about having sex I say having sex)

    I am only interested in having sex with someone after I am in an emotionally close relationship. I have tried other ways and I do not like it.

    I find women more aesthetically pleasing.

    I do not know how to rate this.

    Someone that I have common interests with and who likes to cuddle (see above about cuddling)

    I do not know that I have crushes as many seem to.

    My boyfriend is a cis male.

    This is something that many people differ on. I know a woman who is involved with a trans woman and she just calls herself bisexual. Each person can use whatever label they want. I myself am a bit offended that some people would say that my boyfriend has to take the label pansexual because I am a woman who was AMAB. I am a woman and he is a man, he likes me and has only been in relationships with women so he is straight as far as that goes (though he can use whatever label he wishes, which is currently no label).
     
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  8. RD Spencer

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    It seems confusing to be honest.

    Just looking around out in public I find far more women to be beautiful than men and more sexually attractive than men, but there are some men who are attractive. I also find women to be much more easy to talk to and relate to than men. I seem to have difficulty relating to guys in general, they often seem disrespectful, rude and act like jerks, but where I live is known for that.

    On an emotional level I have only been attracted to women, only had crushes on women and only dated women. Because in large part of the issues with men mentioned above, I have not found any men emotionally attractive and rarely find them suitable as just friends. When in gathering of people like co-workers, the wife’s family and friends, I tend to enjoy talking to women more than other men.

    Been married to my wife for some time now.


    If it wasn’t for the following, I would say I was straight.

    Since my early teens I have sexually fantasized of both girls and guys but that seems to lean slightly towards guys. When it comes to porn, I enjoy looking at still pictures of women more often than those of men and for videos it is closer to 50/50.


    As odd as it may seem I have not seen another male nude in person since I was 8 years old. Never been in a locker room with other guys dressing like many others have mentioned, my school didn’t have looker rooms. On top of that I have always been very modest and very uncomfortable with undressing around other people, especially other guys and have actively avoided it.


    When it comes to relationships, I need an emotional connection before moving to sex. I Have always prioritized the emotional aspect of relationships more than most straight guys that I have known. I find the idea of meaningless sex un-appealing. Most guys seem to be emotionally un-available.


    Something interesting that I have been discovering lately is that I seem to relate well to straight women on their complaints when it comes to dating men. They complain of guys not putting any effort into looking attractive or taking care of themselves, being emotionally un-available, bad behavior and poor life style choices that make them un-datable. As one woman told me, the percentage of datable guys is practically microscopic.


    Sometimes I wonder why I think I am not straight.
     
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  9. eastrevolt

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    No, I'm bisexual. Bisexuals can like all genders. The idea that bisexuals can only like men and women is a false one.
     
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  10. BiBoyToy

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    Well, then what's the difference between bisexuality and pansexuality?
     
    #10 BiBoyToy, Feb 13, 2021
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  11. BiGemini87

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    Hard to say? On one hand, I've spent the majority of my life not acknowledging my feelings for other women until the last couple of years, so one might assume I had a preference for men. Since coming out, I've experienced strong desires regarding women, oftentimes eclipsing my interest in men--but it's more or less evened itself out. In sum, it ebbs and flows for me, personally.

    I'm honestly not sure how to answer this, at least not based on gender. I have a stronger attachment to my husband, but I don't know if I would have a stronger attachment to men over women in general, or if it would be the reverse. I do know I have some emotional attachment to an old friend of mine though, which I think is held in check by the distance between us more than anything.

    It varies. Sometimes I notice/fantasize about men more, other times, women.

    I'd say it's about even. I like different things in men and women, though there is some overlap between them.

    I've only been with men sexually, so I can't give a definitive answer. ^^;

    I honestly don't think I have a preference.

    Men, I think. Even looking back in hindsight and knowing that I was drawn to certain girls, I get the sense that beyond surface level attraction, I am a lot more picky where women are concerned.

    Married to my husband for 8+ years, together for 16+.
     
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  12. jjusa

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    Do you prefer women, men, 50/50?

    I'm not sure. I find women more beautiful and intriguing, but I tend to get along much better with men. I prefer men in a relationship sense. Heteromantic homosexual maybe?

    Who are you more emotionally attracted to?

    Men. I feel like I can open myself up a lot more emotionally to men. I feel too insecure and guarded around other women to be emotionally open. I can get emotionally attached to both men and women, but men usually get through to me and are more interested in getting to know me as a person. Women are a little too superficial for me.

    Who are you more sexually attracted to?

    Women. Though I've never been with a woman sexually. My sexual fantasies are only about women. Men don't turn me on at all.

    Who are you more physically attracted to?

    Women

    Who have you enjoyed your sexual experiences with more?

    #virgin lol

    Who do you prefer dating?

    I've stopped dating for the last few years. I hate dating culture and prefer to date after getting to know someone.

    Who have you had more crushes on?

    Definitely more women. I had a crush on a couple of guys, but most of my crushes have been on women.

    Who are you currently dating?

    Not a dater haha
     
    #12 jjusa, Feb 13, 2021
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  13. BiBoyToy

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    From my understanding, It's not about his attraction to you (as far as his sexual orientation goes). It's about whether he's attracted to multiple genders, or all genders. Again, from my understanding, the main difference between bisexuals and pansexuals is that bisexuals are attracted to multiple genders, while pansexuals are attracted to all genders (major difference). If he is only attracted to AMAB women, I would consider him straight... As a cisgender bisexual, who is only attracted to AFAB women and AMAB Men and not any other genders, I think this a huge distinction. However, I do agree people can use whichever label they want. Although, I do think definitions are very important.
     
    #13 BiBoyToy, Feb 13, 2021
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  14. QuietPeace

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    The way I see it if someone only likes women if they are AFAB and only likes men if they are AMAB then they do not accept that AMAB women are actually women and that they do not accept AFAB men are actually men. I see it as just as bad as having a fetish and only liking women who are AMAB or men who are AFAB. I have often been treated as "other" and I do not like it.
     
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  15. BiBoyToy

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    First, I'm sorry you have been treated as "other," that's awful and I'm very sympathetic of your pain. Although, I do think you viewing yourself as "other" is you decision and no one else's. There is a term for every sexual orientation and gender identity under the sun. However, regarding this topic, I'm not focused on how you, I or anyone else feels. I'm more focused on definitions, which I stated, I believe are very important. Again, from my understanding, bisexuals are attracted to multiple genders, while pansexuals are attracted to all genders. This topic of sexual orientation definitions has nothing to do with whether or not people who are only attracted to women that are AFAB and men who are AMAB view women who are AMAB as actual women. Which I personally do...
     
  16. BiBoyToy

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    Second, your logic is very flawed. I know this a weird analogy but take two different chocolates for example, chocolate A and chocolate B. Just because someone likes chocolate A and doesn't like chocolate B, doesn't mean they don't think chocolate B isn't an actual chocolate. They just like chocolate A and don't like chocolate B.
     
  17. QuietPeace

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    Someone trying to murder me because I am an AMAB woman is not my decision, nor was having the police say that it was not a crime my decision. People treating me as other is a fact that I observe not something that I am delusional over or just making up or deciding on.

    You are comparing apples and oranges. Flat out, to say that you like women but do not like women who are AMAB specifically because they are AMAB means that you do not see them as women. This is very different than saying that you like women but really prefer blondes or redheads. This is my last word on the subject with you.
     
    #17 QuietPeace, Feb 14, 2021
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  18. johndeere3020

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    Do you prefer women, men, 50/50? Depends on the day, sometimes the moment

    Who are you more emotionally attracted to? women

    Who are you more sexually attracted to? men

    Who are you more physically attracted to? men

    Who have you enjoyed your sexual experiences with more? women

    Who do you prefer dating? married almost 20 years

    Who have you had more crushes on? men

    Who are you currently dating?

    #1BiBoyToy, Friday at 11:59 PM
     
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  19. BiBoyToy

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    If you don't mind, may I ask how your spouse feels about your bisexuality? Are they fully accepting of it?
     
  20. johndeere3020

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    I knew I was different at maybe 13-14. I am 48 now. I didn't come out until I was 46. I couldn't do it anymore..... Lots of questions, never fought and yes she is very accepting.
     
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