Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by BiBoyToy, Feb 12, 2021.
I'm happy to hear that she is very accepting! That's wonderful.
Hey, I just wanted to say sorry for everything I said the other night. I was having a really rough day and was in a bad mood. I feel awful for being rude to you. I hope you can accept my apology.
Disclaimer: I'm currently bi-identifying but questioning whether I'm a lesbian, so my answers are showing my confusion in the moment!
"Prefer" is too vague - depends on the situation.
Who are you more emotionally attracted to?
I've had more opportunities to emotionally connect with men, but I've also connected emotionally with women, so I believe I could connect to either (or any gender) equally.
Who are you more sexually attracted to?
Who are you more physically attracted to?
Who have you enjoyed your sexual experiences with more?
I've had far more experiences with men, so I've had more of both good and bad experiences there. Only one bad experience with a woman, and all others were pretty positive if not mind-blowing, but I've also had a few mind-blowing experiences with men! Hard to answer!
Who do you prefer dating?
I'll say women because I know I would never date another man, even though I've dated more men in the past.
Who have you had more crushes on?
WOMEN. This one is something I've only noticed recently -- my male crushes were always more of decisions than an actual crush. Like I'd just mentally choose someone to have a crush on...vs noticing that I'm staring at or nervous around a certain woman.
Who are you currently dating?
A bisexual, cis male
Hey Lesbee, hopefully answering these questions possibly provided a bit of clarity to your confusion whether you're lesbian or are in fact bisexual!
@BiBoyToy I’m still confused! I knew I’ve always loved women, but there are lots of reasons I might not be into men - it could be due to fluid sexuality, or trauma-related, or just boredom or something! Haha I think I just need therapy first.
Totally understandable! Best of luck!
However, I would also like to clarify some confusion. As a bisexual, I like men that are very masculine (that have a penis), and I like women that are very feminine (that have a vagina). (I think this is part of the oddity of being bisexual and why we're discriminated against.)
From my understanding, the majority of trans women are very feminine but have a penis. (again, I like very feminine women that have vaginas and I like very masculine men that have a penis). However, I know there are plenty of trans women that are very feminine and have gone through a complete transition and have a vagina. In this case, I am very attracted to them (but this doesn't speak the to the majority of trans women or trans men).
To say that I'm a bigot because I'm not attracted to women that have penises and men that have vaginas or that I don't see men with vaginas as actual men and women with penises as actual women just isn't fair.. (I think that can actually be very offensive and real discrimination towards bisexuals). It's really just a matter of specific preference.
You mentioned that I'm comparing apples to oranges (which seems very ironic.) but that would only be the case if I truly don't see trans women with penises as actual women. Which I do. I just prefer very feminine women with vaginas and very masculine men with penises. Just as someone can prefer women with red hair over women with blonde hair.
Simply put, I'm attracted to masculine cisgender males and feminine cisgender females.
If you met me in real life this is actually how you would perceive me, though I am in late middle age. So if you met me (when we were age appropriate) you would find me attractive but then if I got outed "suddenly" I would become unattractive to you?
Therapy is always a wonderful option!
The definitions have gotten really muddy (as has practically *every* definition having anything to do with sexual orientation and gender) thanks in large part to the complete abandonment of any form of science, research, study, or reproducibility in favor of crowdsourced groupthink and political correctness.
Originally "bisexual" referred to being attracted to men and women. But now that there's this idea (which is not exactly widely accepted) that gender is a spectrum rather than a binary, well, the definition of bisexual has expanded to incorporate people who identify as other than men or women. "Pansexual" originally referred to as someone who felt attraction and gender did not enter into their attraction. But the two terms are so similar now that there's almost no difference.
So very true!