Pretty Certain I'm Transsexual...

When I was figuring out my own gender identity, I experienced that whole thought process a lot. When I first started questioning, I would constantly think about it. I would find a way to somehow relate my gender to everything I did, said, etc.

As soon as I came out to my parents, some of that began to go away. It seems that once I got some of these feelings out in the open (as you're doing on this forum and with your new therapist), the stress would temporarily disappear. At times, my desire to be a guy was even non-existent. Like you, this bothered me, because it must mean that I really don't want this enough.

However, if you think about it, it's all rather illogical. Since you like analogies, look at it this way: You're a university student. You may know what your occupational goal is, or you might not, but do you think about it everyday? If you have decided on your career path and don't think about it every day, do you think "Oh, I must really not want to be this, since it's not always on my mind"?

Anyway, I'm not sure this post was that helpful, but all I can say is give it some time. Keep talking about it, whether it's with a professional or not. Join different forums and introduce yourself as Michelle. I'm not going to lie, it will be weird. It took me a long time to get used to going by a different name and pronouns. A couple years later, it's still a bit foreign. After more than 20 years of being called one thing, it's only normal that it will take longer than a few weeks to get used to something else, so try it out.

Feel free to ask if you have any additional questions.

 

electrolicious' post is good advice.

Not saying what you are and are not J Snow, just that it doesn't feel that important or pressing every day. You also get used to the idea so that it isn't the only thing you think about all day.

 

No problem, I'm glad! :icon_bigg

 

Just thought you all might be interested in this:

Can Sex in Humans Be Changed?

I ran across it the other day...interesting to think that HRT has been contemplated for so long xD


Also - if any of you are wondering- the reason I havn't been active on the forums, and shan't be for the foreseeable future - is that I have been demoted back to a regular member. Apparently because I've been focusing too much on my own problems, and demanding help here on EC, so much so that it's been detrimental to others.

To that effect - I have resolved not to post on EC again - until I am sure I cannot impinge on you all in this way again.

 

sorry to hear that 11,

I really hope you come back if you need anything. I'll try to help in any way I can!!! Good luck, and don't give up!

 

Michelle,
I am not trans nor have I ever thought I was but I love your braveness and soul searching! I would love to keep reading more long posts by you.
Hugs

---------- Post added 12th Dec 2011 at 04:12 PM ----------

I'm sorry your meeting did not go well. sorry I didn't see your current post right away.
Hugs

 

Therapy is a process that takes time. This isnt something that needs to be rushed. Remember that your therapist needs time to get to know u better so she can know the best way to.work with you. Just give it time and dont give up.

 

I agree a 100%.

 

That's good (the gas station incident)!

 

LOL - at the Gas-station issue.

That sounds awesome.

 

Damn finals have been keeping me busy preparing, but I wanted to say 1: sorry to hear therapy didn't go great during your last appointment, hope everything is going better now

2: I'm really happy to hear about your progress! It's very inspirational! keep on perservering and everything will work out!

and on a more personal note, I'm totally freaking out... I am incredibly nervous but have set a date on which I plan to talk to my parents (the 19th) and I am going crazy trying not to think about it. I know if i push it back though it will keep getting delayed. AHHHH any advice? please? (sorry if this comes off as selfish or anything but I feel like im losing my mind and that's the last thing I want during finals week. hard to focus on much else though)

 

ooh exciting, I haven't set a date for coming out yet. I don't see it being an easy thing to do.

My suggestion is make sure to stay CONFIDENT. They will try to make you doubt yourself and the discovery you have made. Remains steadfast and if they try to make you feel like you are mistaken or wrong or need more time to think about it, stand up for yourself and let them know that it isn't something that is going to go away, that its not a phase, and that this is who you are now and forever.

Or something like that =P

Good luck!

 

DhammaGamer is totally right about them making you doubt yourself, it might be intentional or it might be out of disbelief but it was definetley true for me.

I'm not trying to be a smart a** when I say have tissues handy if your a crier like me haha.

 

sorry to dig this up again but i froze up today during a chance I had to talk to my dad. The words just wouldnt come out.... Really hoping I get a chance tomorrow, but I'm still scared. Finals are over so no more distraction there = im freaking out!!!!

 

talked to my sister today. She took it well. Hoping to talkto my Dad tomorrow if an opportunity presents itself. I go back and forth with thinking he'll handle it poorly and him handeling it well. Here's hoping the latter is true.

My sister is only 13, but quite mature for her age. She definately doesnt full understand, but has a decent concept of it. Overall, she didn't freak out so that's a good sign... gotta get my dad alone tomorrow (he seemed stressed today so I didnt say anything)