This actually summed up a lot of my feelings, except I'm like 5'11" and actually don't grow much facial hair (I only shave like every couple weeks at most, and usually only grow what would be a couple days for a lot of guys in that time). Is it true that hormones don't effect your voice or facial hair though? Also I feel like I have really full lips which I have been told is an indicator of having lots of estrogen... at least in cis-gender females. I'm also curious about the hair length though...
I've been growing out my hair for about eight months, I think? It's shoulder-length now. Be patient because hair doesn't exactly grow fast. If you wanted to tell us, you should have done so immediately.
I wanted to ask, but I was afraid of upsetting you again. :bang: What's wrong & why do you hate this thread? Is something that has been said started or been upsetting you? On another note, it took me about a year to grow my hair about shoulder-length, but it's different for everyone...
I was actually in the middle of asking but I fell asleep :/ sorry. So, why do you hate this thread? talk it out! Thank you! My hair used to grow REALLY fast when I was younger, now it is still quick to grow out... to apoint though. Do you simply ask them to let you grow it longer when you get it cleaned up? When I tried before I ended up with thick hair that poofed out more than went down. perhaps it needed to be longer and thinned though.... ---------- Post added 5th Dec 2011 at 01:48 AM ---------- Gahhhhh... *facepalm* that's forever! Now I's sad. :tears: but... it's not a quick process so I understand and I'll just deal with it. Thanks for answering that question (*hug*)
*sigh* I'm sorry guys. It's just....you're all rushing ahead....you've all got it figure out...you're asking each other questions, you've got a little support group style thing happening with this thread, and I just don't... I feel like I'm still stuck. Getting left behind. and you know what Hot Pink - maybe the reason I didn't tell you immediatley was because I was at least considerate enough to try and refrain from dumping my problems on everyone else. Especially when everyone is benefitting from this thread.
This is something I can sympathize with. I see so many other girls so much further ahead of me in their transition that I feel so left behind too. It's is frustrating & I have felt stuck many times - heck, I still feel like that some days. And dont for a second think that I feel like youre not a part of our group - OUR group, youre always included! If anything Ive ever said has made you feel excluded, then I apologize. As for the whole dumping thing, dont worry about that, Ive actually dumped on a few people here with my problems & my feelings & when Ive had lousy times, thats pretty much what EC is kind of here for sometimes - a place to vent. If you ever feel like you need to vent, 11 11 11, feel more than free to just post on my wall & I will always be here to listen for you! (*hug*) Believe me, feeling stuck is part of this whole thing, no matter how far or not you are with everything. Even people who arent trans or even gay feel stuck so this isnt even a mutually exclusive feeling either. Hope I can help if you need or want me to... (*hug*)
11, I made this thread not even a week ago. You think I have it figured out? Not by a long shot. What I really want right now is someone to tell me I'm right, that what I want isn't the biggest mistake I'll ever make in my life. That I can be a real woman, and won't just end up a butchered freak. I'm lucky and linked this thread to 2 people on facebook tonight to show them how I feel. They were both incredibly supportive, and said I was lucky to have a place I can speak my mind and get such excellent feedback. They both seemed to think I already knew what would make me happy, and that made me feel better. That being said, I think I still have a long way to go before I can say I have myself figured out...
11, I wish I could help more but I cant. I hate feeling like I should do more but not being able to. you know i'm here for you if you need to dump your problems onto someone. OH, and don't be afraid to ask questions about everything! I think (hope) everyone here understands that this is confusing and at times everyone needs help. Hell, I ask all kinds of questions. I can't speak for anyone else, but i can say with certainty that I do NOT have everything figured out. I have a lot I worry about. Actually, a year ago (when I was your age makes me sound a lot older) I wasn't even trying to think about the stuff I'm now sure of about myself. So, I'd say your ahead in that aspect. The one thing that everything I've seen and everyone has consistantly said is that every journey is different. What one person experiences is going to be different than what you experience. It might seem like people are "rushing ahead" but in reality their journey to self-discovery took them down a shorter path than yours has. Everyone has their own things their working through and their own concerns that they need to address. I think that this and other threads on EC seem to help them directly or indirectly do that (I know they have helped me). Don't be afraid to voice your problems and concerns because it seems like everyone can relate to at least part of what someone else is going through and in some cases entire scenarios seem identical. Maybe you'll find someone who can help you more than I or a couple others can because they have a more similar situation? IDK really, but hang in there and cheerup . The first step is to be ok with your own thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and opinions. once you realize that there is nothing wrong with you for thinking/feeling a certain way the answers will come. Not sure if that helped at all... I feel like i rambled and went off topic a lot. but, I hope it did/does and I hope you get some use out of the topics discussed in this thread 11. <3 feel better k?
I have a few things figured out, but I'm not exactly that far into my transition. I've only been out for eight months and on HRT for four of those months. When I first came out, I felt exactly the way you do, though. I felt like everyone else was so far ahead of me. Eventually, you'll make progress without really realizing it. Next thing you know, someone else who is fresh out of the closet is looking to you for support. The biggest thing is to be patient and figure things out. Set goals, though. Don't wait until you're about ready to kill yourself, like I did. It's best to avoid that. Also, you're in the support forum. This is the dumping ground for emotional stuff, so don't be shy about it. You need to try to be a bit more open about this stuff if you're going to make progress.
Right well in that case. Seeing as everyone wants me to... Here's my problem right now. I don't feel like a boy or a girl right now. Or anything in between. I just feel dead inside. I've been feeling like this for a week now, and I don't know why. Before I was convinced I was trans. Now I don't think I am, but I don't think I'm cis either. I'm almost certain I'm not bi-gender or androgynous or anything else. I just don't feel like I fit anywhere. I can't say what I like or don't like. ---------- Post added 5th Dec 2011 at 06:36 PM ---------- I used to be excited about transitioning - now I'm not so much worried about how far down that path I am - in so much as don't think I'll ever take that path. ---------- Post added 5th Dec 2011 at 06:37 PM ---------- I just don't feel like I belong with you guys anymore because you're trans. And I'm not.
11, I know I've already talked a lot with you about this stuff, but I really have felt similar. Like Pheonix said, you are only 18. You shouldn't be expected to have everything figured out. For what I've heard though I think there is a strong possibility that you are trans, and coming up with internal mechanisms to deny it. You said you want to be trans and you want to transition. How can that not be a sign of your "true" gender identity?
If you don't know what you want right now, and can't figure out who you are, then stop rushing things. Give yourself time to discover what you love and the person you wish to become. Just put this stuff to the side for a bit and go on with your life. If later down the road you still feel dysphoric about your sex and gender, then pick this back up and decide then if this is right for you. Most importantly you need to speak with a therapist. Gender issues aside, it sounds like you are grappling with some depressive tendencies and need a healthy way to cope with the stresses in your life. You don't ever have to feel like your not "part of this group." We are all friends, and even if you decide that transition would not be right for you then that doesn't change the fact that we care about you and want you to be happy.
Wow I’m even later. Hey 11, Sorry I can’t add much but to echo J Snow & DhammaGammers comments. You have plenty of time no need to rush (The past week or so I’ve stopped rushing around, looking for an answer and kept myself busy and it has helped significantly) I know how you feel and can relate. (Yes I know not the most helpful sentence in the world sorry) If it helps from what I’ve you’ve told us your probably trans (I think that goes for snow and Probably Me as well) *hug*
I think you may be getting ahead of yourself. Like the others in the thread have said, I have felt the same thing as you. Actually, at roughly the same age as you, which is weird. My old username "Your Nobody" came from that dead feeling. If anyone who has played Kingdom Hearts II would know, a Nobody is someone without a heart and is incapable of feeling anything. "Your Nobody" expresses how I felt. I felt dead on the inside and I was only mimicking the emotions of those around me. Still, it wouldn't hurt to talk to a professional about these feelings--or lack thereof.
Hormones will reduce your muscle volume quite a bit. If you have any that is Yeah. I'm the same, except a bit taller. But not much taller than my sisters, we're all over 6', and a lot shorter than my brother. I had no facial hair at your age, a bit more now. But even now it crows very slowly. As far as I know, hormones will make it a lot thinner and grow slower. I had long hair as a kid. But not since then. My mother had to cut it because everyone though I was a girl I'm letting it grow now. Need to see a hairdresser soon as it needs trimming. I'll keep it male-looking for now. Not sure how I'd transition it ... ---------- Post added 5th Dec 2011 at 06:29 PM ---------- I'm not rushing ahead at all. I'm pre everything. Got my first therapy appointment this Friday. Just because I've done a lot of reading, doesn't mean I know what I'm gonna do or when to do what. Or even what is my next step. I've put this on hold for my entire adult life. I'd give anything to be where you are now with this at the age you are ... ---------- Post added 5th Dec 2011 at 06:35 PM ---------- I only know I'm trans because I'm definitely not cis. That's about as much as I know. Feelings about it change from day to day. Thing is, feelings have been doing that my entire life. I don't want to stay where I am. That is the only thing I do know. I think if you're waiting for certainty before you take any action, you'll wait forever. What I have learned from other people who've taken the journey is that they need to figure things out step by step. The process is thinking what the next step is, preferably a small one, make that happen, evaluate, check how you feel about it, wait some time, and repeat.
Veronica, Thank you! very thorough response that answered a buch of my lingering questions I did, however, hear muscle turns to fat when you go on hormones. I actually am quite muscular right now so that worries me. I dont Want to be fat as it stands I'm actually working on leaning everything out through running and racquetball. Still a ways to go though sadly. Gotta get back into my wrestling shape rather than football/crew shape
A lot of what you read people say is anecdotal and not necessarily strictly medical. So I am a bit unsure what is perceived and what is actual changes people experience. There is also a lot of individual variation because genetics play in. What I do know is that women tend to have a higher percentage of fat in their muscles than men. On average that is. It is hormonal. But there is still less volume. So yeah, you'll have more fat, but it won't necessarily make you fat. Also, a reduction in muscle mass will also mean you burn less calories. So you need to eat less to not gain weight. But regardless, exercise and watching what you eat is important no matter where you are on the spectrum.
