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HS Crush?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by brbrow5, Sep 6, 2014.

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  1. resu

    resu
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    Try not to get cold feet so fast. It's not creepy to wait for someone if you were having a conversation (that means you need to ask questions or do something to keep it going).

    I am an extremely cautious person. I contacted the senior after a lot of deliberation. He was the older brother of a friend in my grade, and their family and mine went to the same church. I didn't actually "recognize" him until I was in 8th grade, but it was just a small crush because he was handsome. Then, in 9th grade, he was in my art class along with his equally beautiful girlfriend, but he dropped it after a few days. :frowning2: He was in the orchestra, which I joined in 10th grade as a woodwind player. He was a legendary prankster and well-liked, and his girlfriend (who later would come out as a lesbian) was just as funny/kind. They were like a power couple, but they broke up some time during their senior year. At the time, she told me it was mutual, but now I understand the real reason.

    I really only had eye contact with him, not much talking, as I was too shy. There were almost no out people in our school, so all I had was just a hunch. Eventually, I was part of a Christmas youth orchestra for our church, and I got the bright idea to invite him. That's when I first got on his radar, and he was really nice, even once giving me a ride home from practice. I will always remember him coming around the lunch tables to collect money for the 2004 tsunami relief, and he came to my table and squeezed my shoulders. If I had a hundred dollars, I would have given it!

    In hindsight, I realize the significance of all this was greatly exaggerated in my lovestruck mind, and I didn't really pay attention to if he showed interest in other guys, and seeing he has had only heterosexual relationships, he's most likely straight. All I could think about was trying resolve my own angst, which is why I called him. My question was really vague and confused him, so I quickly backtracked to make it seem normal and hung up. We just had too many social connections for me to trust letting him know for sure I like guys.

    Whew! Back on track. When you send a message, show some interest in him that you remember something he said or did. You could talk about a shared interest, and people love to answer questions about their passions. Also, try more open ended things like "How are you?" or asking about what he did on the weekend (or plans for next weekend). If you want to be really adventurous, you might compliment something he's wearing.
     
    #21 resu, Sep 9, 2014
  2. brbrow5

    brbrow5
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    Ah its hard bc we dont have classes but I want to message him tonight, especially after he just tweeted that he wants someone new to talk to. What if i send him this "Hey!
    Is your game home on Thursday? I promised X (our mutual friend) I would come to the home opener."
     
    #22 brbrow5, Sep 9, 2014
  3. SwimScotty

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    Sounds like Resu is giving you good advice. Sometimes taking a risk is the only way to get anywhere with anyone. Otherwise you could just end up making attempts and never actually succeeding to talk to him. So next time, wait and talk to him in the lunch line. Send him that Facebook message and start something.
    Tip with the FB message though: look and make sure he's actually online when you send it, not on the Messenger app. For some reason, things tend to get lost when you send them over the app. Plus, that way you get to have an actual conversation in real-time, rather than having to wait for one another to respond.
     
    #23 SwimScotty, Sep 9, 2014
  4. brbrow5

    brbrow5
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    How about Twitter DM, do you think that would be better?
    Also, thank you so much for your help!
     
    #24 brbrow5, Sep 9, 2014
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2014
  5. SwimScotty

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    I think that sounds fine! I just might advise making sure that X is aware so that s/he can play along if asked. And personally, I would prefer Facebook's chat system over Twitter's direct messages, just because of the real-time aspect. The only experience I have with Twitter's DM is letting someone know, "Hey, you've been hacked and your account is now sending me virus-laced pornography," and they usually take a while to reply. The other thing I dislike about Twitter is that you can't see if the person is online, so you don't know if he's even going to see your message within a reasonable amount of time. Facebook you at least know if he has the window open in his browser. Good luck!

    P.S. You're not bothering me at all. I'm glad to help out where I can. I just hope that my advice doesn't turn out to be awful or anything.
     
    #25 SwimScotty, Sep 9, 2014
  6. brbrow5

    brbrow5
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    I know its really late but I just wanted to give an update. I sent the message that I had planned and it led into an awesome, completely fluid, normal conversation. Then he gave me his number and we've been texting. I am verrrrrry happy right now
     
    #26 brbrow5, Sep 9, 2014
  7. SomeNights

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    Congrats! :grin: See, sometimes you just gotta take the dive. Keep us updated.
     
    #27 SomeNights, Sep 10, 2014
  8. SwimScotty

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    Yay! Sounds like you two are hitting it off swimmingly. :slight_smile: Definitely keep us updated!
     
    #28 SwimScotty, Sep 10, 2014
  9. brbrow5

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    Ok another night of texting late into the night. I take this as a very good sign because most guys who are either a.straight or b.uninterested would not have kept the conversation going this long at this hour of the night. Plus they would not offer up their phone number to a guy they only talked to once. Ah I really like him. Now that we are talking a lot, do you guys have any advice on how to proceed further? You guys have been sooooooo amazing!
     
    #29 brbrow5, Sep 10, 2014
  10. brbrow5

    brbrow5
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    Its like weird. We are both still closeted in school (this assuming he is indeed gay which hasnt been confirmed but pretty much lol) and we don't have any classes together except lunch so we will go all night texting and then come into school and won't talk. I guess the only way to talk to him would be to finagle my way into standing next to him in line again. Anyone else have better ideas?
     
    #30 brbrow5, Sep 11, 2014
  11. Blayde

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    Does your school have a GSA (Gay-Straight Alliance)? I started going to the one at mine last year and they don't force you to disclose your sexuality. The only way that people would know that I'm in it is if they saw me going there, I told them, or they looked at the club's yearbook picture which I didn't even need to be in. Maybe this is far-fetched, but you could consider going there and seeing what it's like and then you could tell him that you're a part of that club if after-school activities get brought up in the conversation. Obviously that would be somewhat risky if you don't want anyone to know about your sexuality, but if you ultimately want to date him then it doesn't really make all that much of a difference. You could also just ask him if he wants to do something with you on the weekend or whenever...you already have his phone number and talk to him until late at night, so it's really not too forward.
     
    #31 Blayde, Sep 11, 2014
  12. Minnie

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    A lot of people have their gender preferences on Facebook, so it's worth a check. If there's a local LGBT group you could get to know them and see if any of the people there are friends with him and know if he's gay/bi. If he seems like a respectful person and you suspect that some people already know you're gay, you could even just be upfront about you being interested in him. You could try and join an after-school club he's in to spend some more time with him.
     
    #32 Minnie, Sep 11, 2014
  13. SomeNights

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    Keep the conversations going for a while and then when you feel comfortable, the best thing to do would be to come out to him.
     
    #33 SomeNights, Sep 11, 2014
  14. SwimScotty

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    You said you have lunch together, right? Is there any possibility that you could find a seat at his table? That way you guys can talk every day. If that's not an option, I'm sure there's a way you guys can manage to hang out outside of school. After-school clubs are always an option, or you guys could get together yourselves and some friends together and do weekend things. Football games are also a great place to hang out with people. My friend and I go to the home games and just walk around the entire time. We couldn't care less about the game. It's fun and it's nice to be able to talk without dealing with other people.
     
    #34 SwimScotty, Sep 11, 2014
  15. brbrow5

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    We have one tomorrow but I have to work the concession stand for the first half for being Senior Class President :frowning2:. There is a tailgate before hand though and he might go so idk. We shall see how tomorrow goes. I am still talking to him via text. Maybe tomorrow I can talk to him some more. Also, getting a spot at his lunch table is not really possible as I don't know the people he sits with even a little bit lol
     
    #35 brbrow5, Sep 11, 2014
  16. brbrow5

    brbrow5
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    Just wanted to update you guys. We have continued to text and it has continually gotten flirtier and flirtier. Tonight we did the questions game where one of us asks a question, the other answers, and then you answer your own question. Then, the other person asks a new question. It got really interesting when he asked "When did I first know about him" and I answered that when I saw him in lunch, i asked one of my friends who he was." He said that he saw me around previous years but never knew my name until I followed him on social media. I then asked if he trusted me and he said yes that i seemed very trustworthy and i said that he did too. Then, late he stopped answering so I assume he fell asleep as it was around the usual time he goes to bed. I now know for almost sure that feelings are reciprocated as the whole thing was super flirty and he initiated the conversation and the whole game. All that is left is to admit our feelings and that should be happening shortly I suppose. I am still treading very carefully.
     
    #36 brbrow5, Sep 13, 2014
  17. SwimScotty

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    Nice! I hope everything works out for you! Sounds like you found the right guy.
     
    #37 SwimScotty, Sep 14, 2014
  18. starlightonmars

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    This is so adorable. I'm having flashbacks to my high school crush. I hope it all works out for you! :slight_smile:
     
    #38 starlightonmars, Sep 14, 2014
  19. Easton

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    I just found this thread and read through it.

    Sounds like you guys are really starting to hit it off, congrats! The only thing I have to add is that I would recommend you coming out to him in person rather than over text because if you want to find out about his sexuality it would be a lot easier for him to not talk about himself over text than if you came out to him in person.

    Please keep this thread going! I love it!

    @SwimScotty

    Haha and I thought I was the only one joining XC half so I could just check out my good looking friends!
     
    #39 Easton, Sep 14, 2014
  20. brbrow5

    brbrow5
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    Thanks guys it really means a lot! I hope it works out too lol. Idk we had that really awesome night of texting and the next morning he texted me that he was sorry he fell asleep. I texted him that i figured he did and i was at work and would text him after, which i did. When he didn't respond I figured he was busy, but then he didn't text me at all that night. So far, he hasn't texted me tonight at all either. The soccer team has had lots of games and pasta parties and such over the past couple days so he is prob busy with all that. However, I feel like even if you are busy, you can always make time out of your day to text someone if you like them. Ugh idk. And its still really awkward at school. Like he is always with other friends and i don't just don't know how to act around him. I don't really come into contact with him during the day. Am I just being an idiot and should wait to see what happens? Part of me wants to initiate a convo with him, but another part wants to wait it out to see when/if he will text me. I feel like since I was the last to text and was greeted by a lack of response, the ball is in his court.
     
    #40 brbrow5, Sep 15, 2014
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