Coming out Nerves

Hello All.....I probably should have posted this earlier, but at times I get distracted and miss things. Anyway, this is a post that I have often sent to folks who are having a difficult time coming out to parents/friends/etc. I usually edit it to fit the situation but here I'll just post it in it's original form and if anyone decides to use it, you can go ahead and make any needed edits. The first part is primarily intended for younger people, but parts of it could still apply to people in their 20's, etc. The bottom part that talks about a letter is good advice for anyone facing a difficult coming out. I hope this helps...

*****Coming out can be wonderful and terrible. Occasionally at the same time! Some important factors in deciding when to come out are:
*****Come out when YOU are ready. Don't let anyone push you into it if you are not at the place where coming out is right for you.
*****Don't come out if there is a real chance that you will be in danger. That includes being kicked out of your house, having no way to support yourself, having all privileges (phone, computer, friends, etc.) taken away, being verbally or emotionally abused as well as the danger of physical abuse. Waiting can be very difficult, but your safety and emotional well-being are more important than being out too soon. Even though waiting might be really difficult, living in a house where there is constant conflict because you came out and your parents or your friends did not accept it could easily be much worse. You have to make that decision and in many cases waiting for a while until you will be taken more seriously is a much better choice. I'm not saying that you have to wait, I just think that you should give it serious consideration. A lot depends on how you think your parents/friends will handle your revelation.
*****Being out in middle school/high school is easier now than it used to be...but depending on your school and your relationship with other students, it can still be a problem. Try to evaluate these things and see what you seriously think about the results of coming out would be. Sometimes waiting...even when it is so difficult...is the only safe way to come out.
*****You might want to consider using a letter WHEN the time comes to tell your parents/friends. A big plus to a letter is that you don't have to be present when the letter is read. That can be a very big help as it eliminates the potential face-to-face confrontation that can sometimes be difficult. Coming out in writing means you will not be interrupted or face a barrage of questions that you need to answer immediately, in the heat of the moment. You get time and they get time too and that counts for a lot. It gives the people reading the letter some time to think before they talk to you. After all, you've had time to think about your sexuality, perhaps for years…giving them at least some time to think about it too only seems fair! There are some great sample coming out letters here on Empty Closets that could be a big help to you. You can edit the letter(s) to fit your situation. Even if you don't eventually use the letter, taking time to think about it and to write one will help you to be sure to say what you need to say and leave out the rest! You can then use the letter as a "script" for when you do come out face-to-face. Check out the letters (see below)...they could be a real help!
*****Also...and this is very important!!...when you do come out, whether it's tomorrow or a year from now, your parents and/or friends will probably have questions. Take some time now to think about what those questions might be. Such as; "How do you know you're gay/trans/bi?" or "How long have you felt this way?" etc. The questions themselves will vary a great deal depending upon your family and friends...so take that into consideration. If you work up a list of five or six probable questions with the answers already planned, you will likely be perceived as a more mature, serious person.
*****COMING OUT LETTERS: http://emptyclosets.com/home/pages/resources/coming-out-letters.php
*****Remember...you are a part of our LGBTQ Family and we do care! Keep us updated on how things are going for you!

.....David