Can lack of affection lead to a spike in bi/gay feelings?

I don’t think it causes them but it could cause someone to act on feelings that are already there and just dormant or ignored. Perhaps otherwise these feelings would never come to the surface. I would say they are there nevertheless

 

It can be tough

 

Danabutton

It did for me.

My wife lost her sex drive...I mean completely....due to a medical issue. She was afraid to tell me.

That lack of intimacy turbo charged my same sex desires. Didn't cause me to be bi of course.

My wife is doing better now and we are more on track and I am not as interested in men... Still there just not the urgency.

 

Can you elaborate?


What's going on right now?

 

It’s poss

it’s possible. I’ve known most of my life, my first sex partner was actually a male friend when I was a teenager. However, most of my life I’ve ignored or repressed it. Even now, I don’t act on it. I’m married and have made the decision to stay monogamous. I cheated once with a guy awhile back, when I first accepted I was bi, but I haven’t since. I’ve just accepted that it’s part of my life, but can’t be a prominent one. If I didn’t love my wife, I’m sure it would be different

 

Unless you are already predisposed to having a same sex relationship, it's very unlikely that a lack of affection or intimacy from a heterosexual partner would cause you to go down that route. I'm not saying it would never, ever happen, but my understanding is that there usually has to be some existing desire for intimacy with another man. If such a desire exists, it's entirely possible that attention and validation could ignite latent feelings.

 

Yeah. Many days I feel completely straight, others more gay. I’m closer to straight than gay, but it’s always there to some degree. It does make gym locker rooms more entertaining

 

Like I said. Probably a lack of intimacy is highlighting latent feelings. It’s interesting that you mention your first experience was same sex. It’s the same with me. I wonder how many of us are out there. Also, how many turned out to be straight? Oh well, it’s not like I can go around asking people

 

Do you think your comments in this thread might offer a clue about latent (repressed) feelings?
https://forum.emptyclosets.com/inde...ng-and-what-does-it-mean.472616/#post-6611137

 

Yeah that’s an awkward question. How are you doing today? And by the way, did you ever give another guy a handjob when you were a kid. That could get you arrested

 

Danabutton

It's possible that you have repressed being gay. It's also possible that you are bisexual.

I never, really, had any m2m sexual experiences beyond jacking off together with a couple friends. I'm not sure that isn't just something amost all boys do. My wife, who is a shrink, tells me lots of guys will admit that.

I did have a boyfriend but we never did anything sexual. We were 13 when we started seeing each other..but, it was definitely puppy love. He's gay and out now.

I went many years. From early twenties to mid forties with my same sex attractions pretty well buried. I knew I was attracted to men, but the thought of intercourse or even head with a guy repulsed me.

At fifty, I was still pretty good looking and well built. My wife stopped paying attention to me and I noticed that guys, especially young ones, were attracted to me. This affirmation really turned on my same sex attractions. I started to obsess about gay sex.

Does your partner know you have these desires? I told my wife and she decided since I had never had sex with a man I should experiment.

Those experiences have made me less into men because the curiosity has been satisfied...mostly. I have one same sex fetish, I guess, that is still ridiculously compelling. Mountain biking guys, that look like me, just do it for me, big time, every time.

I guess the big question. Could you see yourself waking up with a guy?sharing your life? Would you be with a man if there was no sex?