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Am i falling in too deep again?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Nero360, Sep 27, 2016.

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  1. Nero360

    Nero360
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    Thanks
     
    #61 Nero360, Dec 11, 2016
  2. Nero360

    Nero360
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    Just an update. Nothing much has changed. But I dyed my hair blue so yay.
     
    #62 Nero360, Dec 24, 2016
  3. Quantumreality

    Quantumreality
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    LOL! So, is blue his favorite color, Nero360?
     
    #63 Quantumreality, Dec 24, 2016
  4. Nero360

    Nero360
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    No, his favorite color is orange lol.
     
    #64 Nero360, Dec 31, 2016
  5. Nero360

    Nero360
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    So for the past 2 weeks he's been doin some really gay stuff and he even being called a faghot here and there. He started making sexual gestures with lunch towards me and I find it kinda funny. And I, myself honestly, does not think he is gay. call me crazy but i mean I just cant imagine it anymore. Anything he does that is gay whatsoever i completly disregard and take it as a joke. I guess you can say i lost hope, but regardless he is an awesome friend. but i wish i could stand up for him when he gets bullied like that.

    ---------- Post added 19th Jan 2017 at 01:20 PM ----------

    I wonder if its my fault he's getting bullied like this. Because none of this stuff happened to him when we werent friends.

    ---------- Post added 19th Jan 2017 at 01:22 PM ----------

    also im happy that we text almost everyday and everytime we do i just want to ask the quetion "are you gay?".
     
    #65 Nero360, Jan 19, 2017
  6. Quantumreality

    Quantumreality
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    Hey Nero360,

    What kind of 'gay stuff' is he doing? Does he even realize it?

    Even if you can't stop the bullying, at least being there for him as a good friend is still supportive and a very good thing! If the bullying is bad, can't he report it to the school administration?

    Why would you think that he's being bullied because he is friends with you?

    You know it's not appropriate to ask him if he's gay, but if you really want to move forward with him, you know that your best bet is to Come Out to him, assuming that you would be comfortable doing so and you can trust him to keep your confidence.
     
    #66 Quantumreality, Jan 19, 2017
  7. Nero360

    Nero360
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    sometimes theres rod round foods, and he acts like hes giving it a bj. omg and when theres carrots it just really uncomfortable. i should tell him how uncomfortable i feel when he does that in public.

    ---------- Post added 19th Jan 2017 at 01:58 PM ----------

    And i support him and make sure none of that stuff gets him down, but theres nothing i can do when it comes to them bullying because im too scared to say anything back and the teachers/couselors arent helping with the issue

    ---------- Post added 19th Jan 2017 at 01:59 PM ----------

    i think ill come out to him when we start hangig out more

    ---------- Post added 19th Jan 2017 at 02:02 PM ----------

    the reason i think he being bullied is because i started to be friends with him and every since then, he started acting out more, also i know for sure he acts differently around me. but i cant imagine him being gay so i just take it were pretty close friends
     
    #67 Nero360, Jan 19, 2017
  8. Quantumreality

    Quantumreality
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    Yes, you certainly can tell him if he's doing things in public that make you uncomfortable - and tell him why it makes you uncomfortable. Plus you can point out that things like that might be spurring on some of the bullying.

    If the teachers and counselors don't help with the bullying, he may want to go directly to the school administration. He could also talk to the teacher who is the school's GSA staff support.

    Do people bully you for being gay or are you just associating the fact that he's acting like this since he's been hanging out with you as the reason he is being bullied? Either way, Nero360, it's not your fault.
     
    #68 Quantumreality, Jan 19, 2017
  9. Nero360

    Nero360
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    Are you kidding me, my message didn't send the 21st :frowning2:. So basically what i said was him going to gas would make him look suspicious and make things worse.
     
    #69 Nero360, Jan 25, 2017
  10. Quantumreality

    Quantumreality
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    Hunh? Sorry Nero360, I'm not tracking on what that means.
     
    #70 Quantumreality, Jan 25, 2017
  11. Nero360

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    lol whoops i put gas
    i meant gsa
     
    #71 Nero360, Jan 29, 2017
  12. Quantumreality

    Quantumreality
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    Oh, LOL!!
     
    #72 Quantumreality, Jan 29, 2017
  13. Nero360

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    yay everything is better, niether of us are getting bullied and we talk on a daily basis. #goals
     
    #73 Nero360, Feb 2, 2017
  14. Quantumreality

    Quantumreality
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    That's wonderful, Nero!:thumbsup:

    What, if anything, changed?
     
    #74 Quantumreality, Feb 2, 2017
  15. Nero360

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    Whoa the craziest thing just happened today. I was late getting to class and on my way i run into him. I was guessing he was late too but then he randomly hugged me and then walked into class. I instantly get turned on, like emotionally and physically, good thing the hallway was empty, saved me from 2 problems. I had to wait a minute before going to class otherwise i'd embarrass myself trying to cover my lap. I felt so warm and happy when he hugged me, im so happy even now. Normally when i get home i fantasize and get depressed. Today i was happy all day even now XD, its almost like he cured my depression. Anyways im thinking too much about myself and how i feel. I just noticed something, ive always been looking at this from my perspective and my feelings. Plus it was out of nowhere. I think i should ask him if he's okay.

    ---------- Post added 8th Feb 2017 at 03:19 PM ----------

    also forgot to state that he has a gf now.
     
    #75 Nero360, Feb 8, 2017
  16. Quantumreality

    Quantumreality
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    Well Nero360,

    That was a short roller-coaster ride. He hugged you out of the blue, but then you mention that he now has a gf...

    Still, it sounds very much like he wants to be good friends with you. That would be a good thing if you think your crush on him won't be a problem for you.

    And I think you are right to be thinking about his feelings, as well. Do you plan on asking him if he is o.k.?
     
    #76 Quantumreality, Feb 8, 2017
  17. Nero360

    Nero360
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    yeah, when we text each other again and/or talk in person

    ---------- Post added 8th Feb 2017 at 11:38 PM ----------

    im so happy, i never even thought we could be friends and now we're close friends which is like the coolest thing ever!
     
    #77 Nero360, Feb 8, 2017
  18. Quantumreality

    Quantumreality
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    Hey Nero360,

    I'm very happy for you, too. Your efforts to make friends with him is paying off.:slight_smile:
     
    #78 Quantumreality, Feb 9, 2017
  19. Nero360

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    I really don't like what he's doing. Even after having a GF for a month now, he's still showing affection towards me. Now this is killing me, bcuz he has a gf but yet still messes around with me. Now im starting to feel like he's playing with my emotions. And now thinking about it, want to do something that would get rid of his teasing, but still keep the friendship because overall i find him a pretty cool friend. But idk how i should do it without total disaster. All i really want to do is stop him from teasing me. Also another thing is were we texting each he started complimenting me, i did back. Then about an hour later he posted alot of selfies with his gf. Now at first i was like, wow they seem happy. Then out of nowhere i felt a feeling. A feeling i haven't felt in a long time. It was jealously. Then i started to feel sad, then i was like wow and that's when i realized me loving him is out of reach, and unhealthy. So now i just have to stay strong and move forward. I have to figure out how to stop him from teasing me so that i wont have these feelings for him anymore
     
    #79 Nero360, Feb 11, 2017
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2017
  20. Quantumreality

    Quantumreality
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    Hey Nero360,

    The bad news that I have to convey is that your feelings for him will take time to diminish. Even though your head knows that he’s not available to you, your heart still yearns for him. Stopping his teasing/flirting should definitely help.

    Unfortunately, the only real way to get him to stop is to tell him upfront that certain things he does bother you. Could you have a heart-to-heart conversation with him to let him know what kinds of things he does that make you uncomfortable? From what you’ve said before, I doubt that you are willing to Come Out to him, but he sounds like an easy-going guy and if you were to Come Out to him and explain the things that he does that make you uncomfortable, I bet he would be understanding. Regardless of whether or not you Come Out to him, at least telling him about the things he does that make you uncomfortable and asking him to just stop doing those things – while reaffirming your friendship with him – should be enough, if he respects you and your feelings (and if he doesn’t, what kind of friend is he really?).

    It’s still possible the he is Bi or that he is Gay and using his gf as a cover, but even if he’s not straight it’s clear that he’s not ready to have a bf in public at this point.

    In terms of how you are feeling about him and his gf, that is totally natural. You want him to be happy, but, since you have a strong crush on him, you REALLY want him to be happy with you, not her, so you are feeling jealous. Then, when you know that he seems to be out of reach (in a romantic sense), you are getting depressed.

    Just some thoughts. I don't know if that helps you...:slight_smile:
     
    #80 Quantumreality, Feb 12, 2017
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