Am i falling in too deep again?

I understand completely. So, the main thing for you right now is to get know him much better one way or the other... Sounds like you are on the right track, but don't expect him to hold off being touchy-feely with you until the 30th unless you make a point of it with hime..

 

Nero360, why were you trying to avoid him if you were trying to get to know him better? I thought you agreed that the best way to understand his mixed signals was to get to know him better. Or am I confused now?

What was he doing that you considered bullying besides calling you names? What kind of names was he calling you?

 

I'm still not very clear on your current situation with him, but it sounds like he took offense when you tried to distance yourself from him - hence the bullying (and which would tend to show that he really likes you. You said he apologized for it once. If you can get him aside or alone, why don't you just ask him straight out why he is doing it. And it sounds like your best option is to confront him about the touching thing too - asking him specifically why he does that. Otherwise, from what you've been saying, you are going to be too uncomfortable just being around him to even have a discussion about anything LGBTQ. If you can't move forward by actually talking to him about his behaviors that really bother you, have you considered that you might just have to tell him to leave you alone and forget about being his friend?

 

O.K. Nero360. Thanks for that. It explains a lot to me about your situation.
Now I think I understand why you were avoiding him. He clearly seems to like you a lot, however, so your actions are probably confusing him as much as his are confusing you. That may be why he lashed out and bullied you when you grew more distant. You said he called you names. What kind of names? And what other actions did he take that ‘bullied’ you? If you can describe those, it might help me to better understand the nature of how he is reacting to you.

I understand now how hard it is for you to confront to him about this stuff and I wasn’t suggesting that you confront him in an angry manner (if that’s what you thought I meant). I was suggesting that you just get him in a one-on-one situation (asking him to meet you somewhere private, if necessary) and literally tell him how his ‘bullying’ activities are making you feel. Since he already apologized once, it seems very unlikely to me that he was actually being mean to you, rather he was lashing out at you for avoiding him. At some point, you have to realize that a lack of open communication between the two of you is only going to result in more problems -especially when he does things that affect you so deeply; if he doesn’t know about your GAD or the previous bullying that you experienced, he’s probably just doing the normal teenage guy things in reaction to your (from his point of view) ‘odd’ actions (like avoiding him). You could end up missing an opportunity to make a friend. Just like you said previously when you had an opportunity to make your friendship stronger after he apologized for harassing you, but YOU were not in the ‘right mindset.’ Friendships/relationships are two-way, so you have to make an equal effort if you want to gain his friendship. For you the largest part of that effort may be to open up to him about your GAD and how you feel about things he does that make you uncomfortable, explaining why they make you uncomfortable and why you started avoiding him these last two weeks. Does that make sense to you?

As we talked about, doing things with him one-on-one outside of school can be very important. You said you were already planning on hanging out with him on Mischief Night. Is there something else you can do with him outside of school before then? Could you hang at a local mall or food court together? Could you go somewhere to get a burger or shake or something? Are there any movies you might both like and could go see together? That could give you a good opportunity to just talk to him without the pressures of the school environment.

Remember, if you can make him your friend, that is the most important thing right now. Whether he ends up liking you ‘that way’ or not is for further down the road. And even if he turns out to be straight, but is someone who is accepting of you if you decide to Come Out to him, then you could still be 100% comfortable around him; you just wouldn’t be able to have him as your bf.

I hope some of that helps.

---------- Post added 20th Oct 2016 at 06:07 AM ----------

As far as getting a feel for what he thinks of LGBTQ people, do you have an openly LGBTQ kids at your school? If so, have you seen him interact with any of them? What about mentioning one of them to him, like “do you know (insert LGBTQ kid’s name)? I heard that he/she is gay/bi/trans. What do you think of that?” Would something like that work for you?

 

Well hope it goes well keep us in the loop. Don't do anything you're not comfortable with!

 

Good Luck!

 

That's good new, Nero360. But it still leaves you with unanswered questions/unresolved issues, doesn't it? First, don't you think you need to talk to him about the overall mixed signals that you perceive he's been sending you? Second, there is the issue of whether or not he wants to actually date you and potentially be your bf. Technically, I guess neither of you would formally have to Come Out to each other, if you just agreed to date - that would kind of presume that you tacitly Came Out to each other (as long as it is clear that it would be dating, not just 'hanging out').

Just my thoughts. What do you think?

 

I agree, Nero360. Holding hands like that is a pretty clear signal. I hope things continue to move forward for you in a positive direction!

LOL! One step at a time, Nero360. One step at a time.


Good luck!

 

Sorry hear that you guys missed out on that together-time that you were looking forward to. That was really nice of you, though, to think of him and share your candy.

So, do you have any plans to hang out some more in the near future or do you have yet to make plans?

 

That sounds like a good plan, Nero. I hope it works out for you!

 

Good luck Nero360, I have the kinda same situation as well! Mine exists for about a year until now, and I'm still getting mixed signals. When you thought you're on the right track, the other day you might find out that you're not; when you thought you're on the wrong track, you might be not correct as well. Just do not give up, and appreciate every moment you're spending with him right now The world is very weird, and we're making ourselves worry.