A nice guy I met on vacation

Sounds to me that you should be the one who puts your hand on his leg and look him in the eye and tell him how comfortable you are with him and ask him if he is interested in taking this friendship to a different level. Then wait for his answer and listen to every word. Whatever he says you will know what he is thinking. The fact that you have your own special spot, is wonderful. You will always be able to go there and feel comfortable talking about anything. I am excited for you. Even if he says he’s not ready, you can still hang on to a friendship that sounds to me is very good for you.

 

Sounds like you just might need to get his attention right! Your choices at this point are going to make the difference. Perhaps he’s waiting on you because he’s too scared…..

 

I disagree with this and it looks like some folks may have tuned in late. I don't know this type of individual described personally, and I'm lucky I don't, but I have heard about them from others who have gotten desperate and let their guard down. This guy he met has had a history of scamming people.

I'll bring this up while I'm here. I don't know if this has anything to do with the OP's situation, but there are some guys looking for sugar daddy types. It's rarer for men, so we don't hear about it as much. My thought is that if you're a guy, be autonomous. That doesn't mean flush with cash ... just autonomous. Guys who are looking to be taken care of and pampered are a huge turn-off and I don't care what they look like. I have no idea why some guys, and I don't know at what age they'd start doing it, throw away good dollar after bad dollar on some unattainable or gigolo type guys they become infatuated with.

I brought it up earlier in the thread. I knew a member of a nicer health club who said that there was a 30-ish super attractive guy "working" some of the men at the club. It was a straight and family club in a good area, FWIW. I was dumbfounded. He went on, almost pleading, 'but if you've ever seen him, you wouldn't believe the effect he'd have on you.' I instantly knew there's a sliver of G-B men I could never relate to, and it's the ones who would fall for someone who is usually younger and exceptionally good looking and are willing to open up their wallets.

I don't think some folks here have seen this for what it is or could have turned out to be. These types don't care about you, except what they can get from you. Run, don't walk. Be cautious and put yourself first.

 

This is a good post with some valuable advice. Having followed this thread for a while I would also add that, in my experience, it's not useful to agonize over asking someone on a date or maybe holding hands or something. It's better to just take a chance (a small one, like asking someone out) and then see what happens. If you're rebuffed, so what. And keep paying attention to your inner voice, which is generally helpful at warning you if something about a situation isn't right. It's far, far better to be alone than to be in a screwed-up relationship.

 

Not easy, sexual or graceful perhaps, I would ask him. Perhaps couch in a statement like you don't care; (keep the pressure off); you deeply enjoy his company. His answer may guide you...this coming from a guy who once asked a good friend if he were gay (no interest on my part). He welched on a $75 debt and I never heard from him again.

what's a guy gonna do?

 

Sounds like like good advice!

 

@trojan

I'm sorry if I didn't assess your street smarts correctly. It's hard to know. It almost sounded like a chance meeting in South Beach or someplace similar where people and situations can be very shallow.

I often know fairly soon how genuine someone is. I'd say I was fairly naive until about 24, so up to about 2 years after college. After that, I swung the pendulum in the other direction and got some good street smarts to have kept me away from people who could be anchors and just out of trouble, too. Some chance meetings while on vacation can turn out to be great and you can make friends from those.

It sounds like you may have the same abilities. It's good that this is all water under the bridge.