Funny responses you got when you came out

"Really? No way... I seriously never got that vibe from you." - girl whom I had the biggest crush on for like a year

"...Welcome to the club." - best friend

"Oh really? Seems like you're leaning my way then." "What?" "Women are great." - dad

 

:roflmao:


Any funny responses? Not really (but I don't remember the first time I ever came out because I was so drunk :*** except for my father who started talking with me about women and my mother who just sat next to us and felt slightly ignored :lol:

 

One of my clients met my husband today...he came in to see how I was feeling after having been in the hospital.

Her: (to my husband) Are you a doctor?
Husband: Yes, I'm just checking in with him.
Her: Oh. You'd make a cute couple of you were gay.
Husband: *snorts laughing*
Her: What?
Me: ....We are a couple. He's my husband.
Her: Wait what? OMG I WAS JOKING.
Me: I'm not!
Her: Oh. Wait. You're gay? DAMN IT!
Husband: *starts laughing again*

 

Me when telling my younger sister:
Me- So umm I'm bisexual. You know I date guys and girls.
Sister- *almost yelling* I knew it I knew it! You're dating -girlfriend/best friend of the time- right?
Me- It's that obvious?

 

So for a bit of background of me and my 3 closest friends, I am the one people are least likely to expect to be not straight.

Funny side story, a couple of friends (one bi like me, one straight) and I made a joke about all being lesbians (I forget the reason; it was late) then the other 2 both changed their minds (again I forget why) but I ended up saying "does this make me the only lesbian in the room?" - I wasn't out, it was all just joking around.

Then a week later a different bunch of friends including one from before were at the pub and basically everyone seems to think she's a lesbian. No matter what. (She isn't). And people were teasing so she turned it on me and said "I'm not the one who said..." - and repeated what I'd said. I could have killed her! The funny part was, despite this, and me being bisexual, EVERYONE still though she was gay and I was straight!!

I'm good friends with my neighbour H, who is 16. Her mum has asked me if my sister is gay too. No-one seems to think i am...

Anyway I told her by text and she thought "bi" was a typo....a bit anticlimactic when I took such a build up to say...so I told her again. Then next time I saw her she was like "that was a rubbish secret" and I asked her why and her response was basically "I didn't know it was a secret!

How is she so perceptive at 16???? Also, I was under the impression it wasn't obvious...

 

I came out to my girlfriend as agender, explained what it was, and she said "Ive been waiting for this for a while!" and gave me a big hug!

 

I told my dad and stepmum by showing a picture of this t-shirt I wanted. It had "panromantic asexual" on the front.

Me: I want this t-shirt for Pride this year.
Dad: It's not Christmas yet.

The topic came back a few weeks later and he remembered the t-shirt and figured out for himself what it meant. We didn't get far because my best friend texted me to let me know that I could talk to her about anything because she loved me. My dad read it because I was explaining to him that she was just checking up on me.

Dad: Now that's true love. Wish I had that. When's the wedding?

I texted her back with his response and they spent the night planning mine and her's wedding.

Also, is anyone else such a huge Harry Potter nerd that you get the closet jokes? I'm a huge HP fan and my mum's house has this cupboard under the stairs. About a year before I came out to my parents about my sexuality/romantic orientation, my sister (who didn't truly know then and still doesn't unless my mum has told her) was on the stairs watching as the dogs barked because they don't like the cupboard.

Mum: What's in the cupboard, doggies?
Sister: Harry Potter and Sam's sexuality.

There was no pause for her to think on it. I was so weirdly proud.

No one in my family knows about my being genderfluid. I hope that will also be funny.

 

So I came out to one of my friends and this happened:

Me: I'm gay...and agender
Friend: Oh yeah I know

 

Well. I came out to my brother a while ago, the first family member I came out to. Since he's overseas, I told him via IM, and it went way better than I thought.

Me: So. I'm agender.
Bro: What does that mean?
Me: Well, it's hard to explain without going into the gritty deets. Basically, I'm trans, but not male or female.
Bro: We know, you're an alien and were adopted, however the rocks that came with you haven't finished getting tested to tell us which planet you hail from.
Me: It's Uranus.
Me: OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

 

I've come out to a few people, but the most recent, least specific and funniest has to be one of my oldest friends, Sam.

He comes from a very Christian family, and I don't know his stance on gay, trans etc. but this is what happened

*sam blabbering on about marriage and kids and stuff*
Me: who said I'm gonna marry? Or husbands?
Him: *stunned mullet expression as what I said sinks in*... Oh

Awkward end of conversation

Several of my friends said 'ok', two said 'you thought we didn't know?' Amd one... Well... Storytime 2.0!

Me: *drawing a thing with little symbols that represent me as a person*
Him: *looking over my shoulder* did you put bisexual on there anywhere?
Me: *stares blankly for a sec before shushing because we were in english class and i hadn't even started to consider coming out just then*

I'd just like to point out that both of these happened in class, and i go to a very strict christian school (even though i'm atheistic myself)

All of these stories on this thread are amazing I'm so glad I found empty closets

 

I came out to one friend as questioning and she said she's there for me and supports me and gave me advice and everything. She's bi and she wen't through a lot of questioning as well so she told me "you don't have to, but my suggestion would be to start watching a lot of gay and straight porn, just to see"
Also, this is somewhat related and just kind of funny, my other friend had sent out this survey to everyone a couple months before I came out to the aforementioned friend. The survey was about what people find attractive in a partner and it also asked your gender and if you like guys or girls. I checked both girls and guys because I wasn't sure and after everyone took the survey, we all looked at the answers people put (but it was anonymous as to who said what). There are only nine girls who took it and we know all of them so when my bi friend saw an extra girl who put down that they were bi she kind of went on a witch hunt of sorts to figure out who it was She hardly even expected me but when she asked I said "no it wasn't me" and then she said "yeah I wouldn't think it would be you"

 

I came out to friends today! *dances* And the reactions, because these people are very different to my ither friends, were far better. This is a bit of a story, so prepare for aching eyes.

So I was recentky on a bus tour in Italy. There were 54 people, including the guide and driver, and , of those, 6 (including myself) were gay/bi. Defied statistics!

Anyway, we were in extension maths/science and at our small table group doing work, chatting casually about going to hell (because what better topic of conversation at a Christian school?) and somehow the trip came up and I mentioed the defying if statistics. It felt right so I brought it up and this haopened (both if these people are guys, just fyi)

Me: it defied statistics!
F: how so?
Me: 1/10 people are gay. There were five out of fifty four... Well, six technically
F: *unintelligent sounding grunt*
Me: *waves awkwardly* hello!
F: oh, you too?
Me: wait, really?
F: yea *leans over for highfive*
C: wait, what? (He's sitting between us)
Me: i'm bi (how I introduce it to people, because it takes less explaining)
C: oh; i couldn't tell if it was for the same reason as them or not (F and the other guy are also bi)

Hilarious conversation about conforming to stereotyoes ensues (because he's sassy and awesome and i own onsessive plaid and am quite tomboyish)

This was an awesome experience

---------- Post added 1st Jun 2015 at 08:53 PM ----------

Wait! I forgot a bit! After a few minutes, this happened

F: *randomly* By the way, I called it!
Me & C: What?
F: you being bi; I called it! I just want you to know
Me: how?
F: it's the hair (mine is an asymmetrical bob-style cut and a sidefringe)

Apparently he and the other two bi people he knows got drastic hairstyle changes after they figured themselves out, and my asymmetricalness is pretty recent (as is my figuring out i'm definitely not just going through a phase)

 

Comming out to two bisexual friends that are together.
Me: So.. I had that dream about a guy... and he was my boyfriend.
F1: So you're gay?
me: Bi.
F2: *turns to her girlfriend* WE WERE RIGHT. I TOLD YOU.
Me: um..

 

So my friend accidentally came during class when she told him to sit up straight and he replied I can't I'm gay. :lol:

 

These stories are great. I wish I had one to give, but unfortunately it won't be so pretty for me...

 

Me: I'm gay.
Best Friend: You're joking?
Me: No.
Best Friend: I always thought you were asexual.
Me: Nope.
Best Friend: Are you sure you're not asexual?
Me: Quite sure.

Somehow it almost felt that she was disappointed I wasn't asexual.

 

Me: So I'm not exactly straight
Friend: Oh. Who's the hottest guy?
Me: What? Is that all? xD

Other conversation
Some guy: That makes you look like a faggot
Me: Really? Well, I am. Is there a problem with that?
Some guy: *silence*
Friend: laughs

 

I didn't see that typo the first time. Many thanks to you and The Lonely Island for making my day!