Your AHA! Moment

V

Very well put

 

I am still trying to figure myself out but many of these posts hit me emotionally.

That's how i feel about the gay fantasies I have.

Sex with women felt like that most of the time, looking back.

This too. It was pretty much the only way I could orgasm.

Ever since I have come here, this is pretty much what has happened to any remaining attraction i had for women.

This is the feeling I have now . Ever since I came here and questioned, I have a 'hunger' to give a blow job, like nothing I ever had with women....I know it sounds crazy but I still don't think I am gay.

Maybe I am just not ready...but I sometimes feel like i am losing control.

 

Sometimes accepting yourself is the hardest thing

 

This is a pretty telling comment. Many of us experienced exactly the same waning of attraction to women until it totally disappeared. It was replaced by an almost visceral need to be with a man. Certainly based on your comments it would seem you are indicating a shift to homosexuality.

 

Seems alot had there aha moment in there teens.

 

Yes, since coming here and saying I might be gay, I have felt the need for sex with a man like a hunger, I never really experienced that with women, but I want to be attracted to women though I don't really feel anything.

 

I don’t think what you are experiencing is uncommon. As we start to acknowledge our same sex attraction we start to realize what we thought was attraction to the opposite sex was an illusion. We find that our same sex attraction is so much stronger, more erotic and more sensual. I would assume once you have been intimate with another man your wish to still find women desirable will fade totally. It truly is liberating to finally shed any vestiges of heterosexuality as it frees you to embrace your homosexuality openly and honestly.

 

As Contented says above, what you're experiencing is almost textbook coming to terms with your sexuality. It's not a one and done and what you will find is your homosexuality will evolve. Many stories in this site goi g way back describe exactly what you're going through.

 

it is beginning to feel that way... I almost have weird feelings of anger about looking at women...

After my above post i stayed away from here, this morning I woke up with a thought "Imagine you could be with a cute guy romantically, sexually", and I started to realize I had what I can only describe as an 'aching happiness' , like fear, warmth, releasing tension , intense joy, all at once.... then I felt a deep, intense physical desire for a man to give me anal intercourse. I had fantasies about it before, but now it feels like a physical hunger....

My thoughts now are 'please let me accept this and let it stick' but I don't think i can...

 

Searching, your journey is in your hands. Give yourself the freedom to explore and live you fantasy. It’s the only way for you to determine your true sexual orientation.

 

Ive had my AHA! Moments but never acted on them.

 

This was true for me. I no longer have any sexual desire to be with women and have fully embraced being a homosexual. Men are gorgeous and wanting a cute boyfriend makes total sense. To me it is very natural to have these feelings and cravings. Once you see a man as being hot it can become impossible to stop looking at them in this way. It took me a long time to get here, but I love that I feel this way about men and think I am lucky that I no longer prevent myself from doing those things you want to do with other gay men. I saw the wanting to have sex with men not the actual having sex with them the thing that made me gay. Therefore when I finally did I it I was at a place where it felt comfortable because I knew I was gay already even if I never had intimate sex with a guy. Sleeping with men doesn’t make me gayer it just makes me happier.

When I read you say, Searching you want to give a man a blow job I want you to know there is nothing wrong with thinking it would be fun. I like thinking about giving them, too and have no shame in having done it.

 

I feel the visceral need to be with a man too but it's not enough to overcome all the roadblocks so it ends up as suffering, which is life.

 

what made you change?

I feel this way too....

 

When I read this I had a flash of feeling like I WANT this to happen to me...

and wanting this to happen....

I guess this is what I struggle with. It's one thing to say I get these feelings, it's another to say I 'want' them. On the other hand, I ask myself why DON'T I want it? Or what makes me feel like it's some outside force and not what I actually want? I don't know if that makes any sense.

 

It is such a wonderful feeling when you can finally say and truly mean you have no sexual desire for women. You are finally free to explore your same sex attraction unhindered.

 

Not only do I remember my AHA moment I am 33 and still want to my same sex moments !

 

If youre single @Searching2022 imho I think the only way you will have your "aha moment" is when you experiment with a guy. By going with it you will know if you are gay or not. Fantasy is the first part..dip your toe and you will know

 

This morning I woke up and all the times I had sex with women flashed before me, and it occurred to me most of the time I was repulsed or indifferent and actually preferred them with clothes on.

I started to think about this and I became incredibly excited and happy. I realize I can easily fantasize about dating, flirting, and of course having sex with men, and I can't do this at all about women, and never really have been able to.

Then it finally occurred to me....something in side me said "Face it, you're gay!" and this is where it started getting scary.. is this normal? I started shaking all over and it's like muscles that had been tense for years released and I felt an overwhelming flow of happiness. I realized I want this, the 'don't want' part is fear or what I think others might think.