Your AHA! Moment

What you are experiencing is quite common as you start to peel away layers of heteronormative programming. You begin to realize you never really were attracted to women you just went with the societal flow. It is eye opening to finally confront the fact that you prefer men as sexual and emotional partners. That transition takes time to process as it goes against all the negative programming we have been exposed to. Once however you have been sexually intimate with another man many of those doubts and fears disappear. Being with another man just starts to feel right, feels normal. By then women don’t even become an afterthought. The freedom and liberation embracing your gay self provides in an incredible high. Four years in and I still feel that excitement and total pleasure.

 

I think both you feeling it’s scary and you being gay is very normal. About half the people on the planet find men to be attractive in a sexual way. There is a reason for this. They are. It’s normal to want what so many other people want.

A big step in getting over my fear was acknowledging I was gay already before I told anyone or started dating men. To me the only question was, was I going to be a happy gay man or a gay man that was not happy. Either way I was gay so there was no need to be afraid of becoming that. I had already done it.

I also had similar reactions to naked women and totally get not being turned on by them. I view having sex with women the same way my straight girlfriends do. Spending time with straight women has given me confidence that my view of what is hot is common. They don’t think twice saying a guy is cute and now I don’t either.

I am glad knowing you are gay gives you a warm feeling. It should. Men are sexy and having a boyfriend is wonderful.

 

So, so true!

 

I am definitely feeling this, like nothing I have ever experienced.

This is a great way to put it. Denial keeps us out of finally making this conclusion.

Almost every thought and feeling I identify with on this forum comes from men who realized they were gay. I guess I never wanted to acknowledge to myself that looking at a naked woman sexually made me feel a little disgusted

My heart raced at the thought of 'allowing' myself to do this!

I still get flashes of denial, but the last days i have been in a high like @Contented mentioned

 

I am so happy you are in one, Contented.

 

Feel the same!

 

I too felt disgusted looking at a woman’s body sexually long before I acknowledged I was gay. Those years I tried so hard to find that aha sexual moment with women only to be grossed out but silent. It was only after intimacy with another man was I able to abandon any pretense of heterosexuality and embrace my homosexuality and finally find that aha sexual moment.

 

Reading this is has made me accept the fact that I’m the same way, and have been for a while. I’m married and have always felt at least bi, but over the last few years I’ve been more 100% leaning toward just men and only men. When having straight sex I would usually always close my mind and imagine it was a man instead in order to finish. Same on it needing to be from behind in order to feel the full effect. I would also say gay porn is the majority now too. It’s almost the only thing that can instantly turn me on and get me to finish naturally. I’ve had sex with men before, and I can definitely say there’s never been an issue with arousal. With women, there was always more work involved to get there.

 

This is crazy to read for me and makes me finally not feel alone. I’ve been doing this for a while now. I’d say I almost have to do it 100% of the time. Most interesting is that the people who do this all of the time end up being officially gay later on.

 

It got to the point with me where fantazing simply no longer worked. I could not become aroused and frankly was so grossed out I avoided straight sex like the plague. In short order I was out of my heterosexual relationship and embraced my gay self. Have never had an arousal issue with another man, just the opposite always seemed to aroused. lol no complaints!

 

With my last girlfriend it had to be from behind and I had to imagine it was a guy.
Another telling sign - once she was performing oral sex on me and said she read a book on how to be good at it. It immediately popped into my head "That's sounds fun". I looked up some 'instructional' porn videos and realized I imagining myself in the role of the woman and that seemed more arousing than receiving it.

 

Agreed performing oral on your BF is a sensual explosion ( excuse the pun) of erotic pleasure for both parties. I love pleasing my man and knowing that I am one that is driving madly toward orgasm. Oral is incredible when the two of you are in sync. Only a man knows how to completely satisfy another man orally.

 

So fun doing it for the man you love.

 

I too got to the point where I was unable to get aroused by a woman. I think that that was the point when I finally accepted that I was and had always been gay. I had known this for years but had resisted accepting it. It was certainly a watershed moment for me!

 

It was such a relief when finally admitted to myself that I was gay. Being freed from trying to be heterosexual was incredibly liberating. No longer faking attraction to women, freeing myself from intimacy that felt wrong was wonderful. Finally admitting I found sex with women gross and preferred men was and is a incredible high.

 

I agree that it was an incredible relief and really exhilarating too, though mixed with some nostalgia for my past life. I finally felt free to recognise my very deep and overwhelming attraction to men.

 

For me once I embraced my homosexuality I really felt no real sense of loss from my “hetero” past just relief. I feel regret about not being able to embrace my homosexuality from the start and avoid those wasted heterosexual years. I would have been happier and fulfilled much earlier in life.

 

I do feel similar regret and you express it well. Acceptance certainly unleashed a greatly heightened sex drive.