Writers! Come and Talk About Writing!

Thank you for your compliments, but I didn't fully get what you meant about out-of-body experiences. The part in the beginning about the Greek myth was his being engrossed in the book, doing his best to escape the fact that he's in a wagon in the middle of nowhere. And alongside my perception that people used fancier speech a long time ago, he's very proud of his vocabulary so I didn't shy away from using high-falutin' words.

I fully relate to your second part as well. But that's why I've found it productive to write out whatever ideas you have in the first draft, then go through rounds of revision where you fix the finer points. It's when you have to change the content itself that it gets ugly. I've had to change things in one part of the story then check over the entire frigging thing to make sure all references to the different details were consistent. X.X

 

It can be tricky to describe.

Voice-Over or Out-of-Body narrators are first person characters who appear to have a third person mindset.

For example:

Our main character tells us what is happening by starting outward and moving inward. He takes the time to describe Pa's laughter and his physical reaction to before he even touches on the fact that he was engrossed in this book and had forgotten about the world around him to the point that laughter would startled him. A third person narrator or observer would experience the scene in that manner; however, if we are seeing the world through his perspective, then the description should be starting inward and moving outward. ("I am reading. Sometimes startles me. Its pa.")

That is what people recommend, but I have serious doubts as to whether I am mentally capable of powering through. It is just like when you get stuck on a scene and think "Why don't I just move on and finish that one later". I can absolutely skip individual sentences or descriptions that I can't seem to get past, but anything bigger than that and you'll find me still starting at that same page an hour later. :lol:

 

Ohhh, I see what you're saying now. I saw fit at the time to start with reality because it establishes the setting. But rationally speaking it probably should have been the other way around XD. Thank you for the insight though.

 

Mm I wrote this scene for a contest and I hope to enter it in (the top eight winners get to see it brought to life in a playwright's festival it would be great if that happened!!!) but I'm worried it's not good enough and I don't have a title for it either. :/ (I'm writing it based on a story I'm writing so it's like a teaser/AU thing I guess)

(It seems very cold because of the lack of stage direction. It's because the blocking and emotions should be up to the directors and the actors. Pieces that have too much direction in them become more of a film piece and not a theatrical script. So just use your mind and think of how the characters would talk, act, etc. This piece is meant to be open to some interpretation, though if you look at the dialogue you should be able to get their emotions.)

Spoiler

Untitled

Ruby - 17 year old girl.
Sonja - 17 year old girl.

Setting: Sonja’s bedroom.

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[SONJA lays on her bed, texting on her phone. She seems peaceful]

[RUBY enters the scene, climbing through the window into SONJA’s room. She lets out a laugh after seeing SONJA’s shocked face.]

SONJA: Holy crap! What the hell, Ruby? You scared me.

RUBY: [snickers] That was the point, though.

SONJA: Next time you want to scare me, be creative and enter my house through the front door.

RUBY: Aw, but that’s so boring.

[RUBY embraces SONJA and kisses SONJA’s forehead lovingly.]

SONJA: [breaks away from RUBY and smiles playfully] Stop trying to keep me from holding a grudge.

RUBY: But I’m sooo good at it!

SONJA: [mutters] Those puppy dog eyes are going to be the end of me.

RUBY: Mm what was that?

SONJA: [playfully] Nothing of your concern.

RUBY: Whatever.

SONJA: So, what are you doing here anyway, Rubes?

RUBY: Just spending time with my girl.

SONJA: Pfft, your girl? You sound like Brennan.

RUBY: Yes, Sonja, you are my girl. Brennan can go fuck himself.

SONJA: Language, Ruby, language! Also Brennan’s not that bad. He’s at least nice to me, unlike Jayden, the guy that keeps trailing after you.

RUBY: Do not bring Jayden up.

SONJA: Okay, then let’s talk about how you told me to keep dating Brennan after we got together.

RUBY: [playfully] Don’t be smart with me.

SONJA: [in jest at first but becomes more serious] Who says I have to listen to you? I’m breaking up with Brennan! I’m going to totally come out to my parents and I’m gonna live a life of adventure. Not being stuck in this hellhole.

RUBY: You’re joking, right?

SONJA: Do I have to be?

RUBY: Sonja, you realize that if you come out your parents will kick you out, right? Then Cam will have to fend for himself. You can’t do that to your brother. Or to me.

SONJA: Why do our conversations always become so serious? I’d like to pretend for a second that my parents will love me no matter what instead of kicking me to the curb. At least your mom and dad will understand.

RUBY: I wouldn’t assume that, Sonja…

SONJA: Ruby, your mom is insanely liberal.

RUBY: I’ve never heard her talk about gay people positively before. In fact the only time I’ve heard her say something about being gay was when she said people will start to think I’m a lesbian if I don’t go out with some guy to Homecoming. She has no clue how on point that comment was.

SONJA: Ha, I remember that. You ended up going with Jayden and he spilled punch all over you. [laughs, but it turns to a sigh] We’re totally stuck, aren’t we?

RUBY: It seems to be that way. And you forgot that I managed to totally dump him on the dance floor afterwards. I am not going to go out with some jerk who dumps punch on me.

SONJA: Nos in cubiculum haeret.

RUBY: What the hell does that mean?

SONJA: It’s Latin. It means we’re stuck in the bedroom. I would have said ‘closet’, but I don’t know the Latin word for that.

RUBY: You’re such a nerd.

SONJA: I’m your nerd.

RUBY: I see what you did there. [kisses SONJA]

SONJA: Have I ever told you that our kisses are the best thing in my life right now?

RUBY: [playfully] Oh, so it’s not me. Just our kisses?

SONJA: You know what I mean.

RUBY: So, how is Cam?

SONJA: He’s fine.

RUBY: He’s been bullied lately, hasn’t he?

SONJA: Always has been.

RUBY: [sighs] Those damn seventh grade boys. His whole class is evil. I saw them running around throwing snowballs at the preschoolers last winter.

SONJA: Middle school was hard for us too.

RUBY: [laughs] You think? Eighth grade was hellllll.

SONJA: Seventh grade was worse.

RUBY: Really?

SONJA: Yeah. That’s when I realized I was bisexual. And that I would never stop loving you. Oh god that day was horrible, I smashed that mirror that used to hang on my door. I slammed the door and the glass shattered. I still have a scar on my ankle from when I dive-bombed away from the door. Not to mention carpet burns, too.

RUBY: Aw, it’s like out of a Shakespeare play. Who’s Romeo and who’s Juliet, I wonder?

SONJA: Shut up. We’re not living in a rom-com, we’re in a serious situation, Ruby. I just shared a very personal story with you and you’re just going to crap on it with your dumb Shakespeare ramblings?

RUBY: But all dark things have their comical moments, don’t you think? Also, I know you like it when I ramble. [kisses Sonja again]

SONJA: Stop kissing me, you’re making my temperament levels go down.

RUBY: I thought that was a good thing. Relaxation is good for the mind and soul, you know.

SONJA: Why is it so hard to get mad at you, Ruby?

RUBY: Because I am a unicorn. Hear me roar.

SONJA: [laughs] That is the most random thing I have ever heard. No, give me the real reason.

RUBY: Maybe it’s you. You can’t physically hate me.

SONJA: Mm. Maybe.

RUBY: [suggestively] So, what do you want to do?

SONJA: [smiling and blushing] No.

RUBY: What?

SONJA: No. Not now. You’re such an idiot. [pushes Ruby gently and stands up, smiling]

RUBY: Urgh, okay.

SONJA: It’s nice to know that you can’t keep your hands off me.

RUBY: [laughs] This conversation is sooo weird.

SONJA: You’re still my Bambi.

RUBY: I’m your Bambi and you’re my nerd.

SONJA: Why do you blush so much?

RUBY: I dunno, I just do.

SONJA: It’s really…

RUBY: … sexy?

SONJA: No! That is definitely not the word I’m looking for.

RUBY: So I’m not sexy?

SONJA: Holy fuck, Ruby, stop questioning everything I say! Yes, you are, but I’m not going to get into that conversation now.

RUBY: Did I just hear the f-bomb come out of your mouth, Miss Goody-Two-Shoes?

SONJA: Oh my god shut up! [laughing]

RUBY: Sorry, Miss Harte, but there is no way for me to shut up.

SONJA: Then kiss me, at least.

RUBY: [smirks and kisses SONJA] You’re the best.

SONJA: The best of what?

RUBY: Everything.

SONJA: You’re a unicorn, the best of the animal kingdom. So what am I? The best of the protist kingdom?

RUBY: You’re a pegasus.

SONJA: What color are my wings?

RUBY: Rainbow.

SONJA: But I’m not gay.

RUBY: Too bad, you’re in love with a lesbian.

SONJA: Them lesbians, all so full of themselves with their rainbows and plaid jackets and backwards baseball caps. If my wings are rainbow, then your horn is pink, purple, and blue.

RUBY: I can live with that.

SONJA: Awesome.

[Silence for a few moments. Ruby brightens with an idea.]

RUBY: What would you do first if you woke up and you were a dude?

SONJA: Huh?

RUBY: I asked you a question.

SONJA: No, like, where did that come from?

RUBY: The depths of my mind.

SONJA: Your mind is insane.

RUBY: Your mind is nerdy.

SONJA: Love you.

RUBY: [laughs] Love you too. Now answer my question.

SONJA: I could never be a guy. I like being a girl.

RUBY: So if you could be with me and be a guy and not have to come out to your parents would you do it?

SONJA: Never. That would invalidate your sexuality and my body.

RUBY: Oh my god I love you so much.

SONJA: [smiles] When can I come out to them?

RUBY: Whenever you’re prepared.

SONJA: Then I guess it’ll be a while. I can’t leave Cam.

RUBY: I may hate my brother but I’d never leave him either.

SONJA: Ethan’s nicer than you think.

RUBY: He’s a pervert.

SONJA: That’s true.

RUBY: You’re so lucky to get a really nice, feminine brother. Did he steal more of your bras?

SONJA: Yep. I had ten yesterday, I have nine today. And I “lost” my black skirt. I’ll pretend I didn’t notice. [looks over to her vanity, taking silent inventory] Oh crap, he took my mascara too! [laughs]

RUBY: Which bra? The black one?

SONJA: [blushes] Of course that’s the only thing you retain from what I just said. My darling Ruby. Anyway, no, the pink one I use for gym. I think he thought I’d never notice if it was gone.

RUBY: [laughs] Cam is so great. But he needs you when he’s ready to come out. And you need him.

SONJA: I know. I wish he would just get it over with and tell me! Then I could actually tell him about me.

RUBY: Just wait it out. He’ll tell you- who knows, he might know about us.

SONJA: Oh god it makes me feel sick to think about anyone knowing about us.

RUBY: … Are you ashamed?

SONJA: God no. I will never, ever be ashamed to be with you. I feel sick because it’s something so private, something I’ve kept in since I was ten.

RUBY: You’ve known for that long? I envy you.

SONJA: No. Don’t be jealous. I’ve been through hell and back, you know that. Remember the self-harm in seventh grade that only you caught on to?

RUBY: Yes. I remember. Those cut scars on your arm weren’t natural.

SONJA: I cut myself that summer because I couldn’t take it anymore.

RUBY: I’m so sorry that I wasn’t there for you… [sees something sticking out from under the bed.]

SONJA: It’s okay. I ran away from you, remember?

RUBY: That’s no excuse for doing nothing when you know someone is harming themselves… [leans down to pick up object.]

SONJA: I know. But I don’t hold it against you.

RUBY: I’m sorry. [picks on the box. It’s a cigarette box. RUBY gasps.] Sonja… what’s this?

SONJA: [widens eyes at the sight of the box and crawls back against the headboard of the bed.] W-where did you find that?

RUBY: It was under your bed, Sonja. Are you smoking again? You know that’s wrong, and not to mention illegal for someone of our age!

SONJA: N-no, I’m not I swear! I thought I’d gotten rid of all of them!

RUBY: Sonja. Why. Was. This. There?

SONJA: I don’t know! Get it away from me! I can’t look at it. [looks away in horror.] Burn it, throw it out! I don’t care! I just can’t look at it! [starts to sob]

RUBY: [sighs, gaze softens] Holy shit, Sonja. You gave me a fucking heart attack for a moment.

SONJA: I only did it in the beginning because I wanted to die, you know.

RUBY: I know. That’s why I was so afraid for you now.

SONJA: I don’t want to die anymore, Ruby. You gave me something to live for.

RUBY: [on the verge of tears, in a small voice.] I know. I… noticed you don’t own any razors anymore.

SONJA: I can’t let those things just sit there. My wrists ache every time I go near one.

RUBY: [sits on the bed and hugs SONJA for a very long time, the box still in her hand] I’m so sorry… I should have been here for you sooner…

SONJA: It’s okay now. You’re fixing me, Ruby. I’m not dying anymore.

RUBY: I know. But it still scares me. I love you and I don’t want to lose you. [kisses SONJA]

SONJA: I love you too, Ruby, but don’t be afraid for me. I’m working on it… and you’re helping so much… [in a small voice] Can we please talk about something else?

[Dialogue from now on is spoken more softly and gently than before.]

RUBY: Okay… I’m good with that. What do we do at school tomorrow?

SONJA: Continue as normal, I guess.

RUBY: Sneaking around.

SONJA: I’m sorry I have to put you through this.

RUBY: It’s okay. I’m in the closet too, you know.

SONJA: But I’m dragging you farther in.

RUBY: If it means we can be together I’m ready to navigate through it.

SONJA: I love you so much, Ruby Daughterly.

RUBY: [smiling] And I love you too, Sonja Harte.

[RUBY kisses SONJA]

SONJA: You should go. If my mom comes up and she sees you in here, she’ll start to wonder.

RUBY: Okay. If they say something-

SONJA: -I’ll text you right away.

RUBY: Good.

[RUBY reluctantly climbs out through the window again and exits, looking back at SONJA throughout the process. She brings the box with her. SONJA stays where she is, looking out the window. Lights go down. THE END.]

 

I have been writing stories for a while already. It all began when I was 10 and had too much time at my disposal. I certainly don't regret it. I mainly write fantasy, but also comedy, tragedy, gay romance, psychological and sci-fi. I am thinking of starting a steampunk story, but I don't have all the details yet.

I have a sort of novel that I've been writing for three years already. It's about a quiet girl with double identity and her journey through life. She goes from quiet to outgoing and then something else entirely. It's kind of hard to explain to be honest.

 

Is it bad that I'm incapable of writing dialogue in anything but a script?

 

Dialogue in literature requires understanding. With scripts it can be easier to write dialogue because scripts only brush the surface. With scripts the responsibility lies on the performer to bring the attitude, spirit, and individuality to the dialogue. In literature, writers have to learn to convey that with only the words and make everything flow naturally, which is much more difficult. If you want to write good dialogue then you have to be able to switch between the minds of all characters who are present. If order to do that, the characters need to be developed.

It is no different then how we know exactly what our closest friends and family are about to say before they say it. We know that they are going to make an innuendo joke. We know that they are about to snap at someone who called them the word they hate. We know that when they hear even the word Democrats/Republicans/Etc they are going to have something to say. We know these things because we know them through and through. You have to reach the point where you know your characters enough to experience the same feeling.

When you find yourself staring at the page wondering where the dialogue is going, step back. Ask yourself what is missing. Remind yourself of the personalities that are part of this scene and give it another go.

 

Thanks!

The problem is, when I'm not writing dialogue, it's beautiful and eloquent. When it's dialogue, it's wooden, doesn't sound right.

Which led to my eighth-grade experiment with writing a short, dialogue-free horror story.

 

Now writing dialogue that is consistently interesting can be a bit more challenging. When I feel that the dialogue is getting wooden and out of place, I usually turn to the setting or the overall scene to determine what is missing. But it is definitely something that you have to continue to revise and refine.

 

I thought your scene was decent. You have very well developed the characters, their family, and their lives. The problem I saw with it was that while you have set up a lot of sweetness and interaction between the girls, that's sort of it. You hint at difficulties they've had, but nothing really out of the ordinary and nothing that really tests them. **There is talk of being kicked out, but they don't seem overly worried. I understand it's a scene and not a whole play, but to make it compelling, you have to have some sort of conflict. It was a fairly long scene and I couldn't tell if anything actually happened besides two (really really good) friends hanging out. I couldn't quite make it to the end so I'll make an effort to look at the rest of it, but I do hope there's some plot driving content in there.

BTW, you mentioned it's untitled. Have you thought about Cubiculum as the title? I took Latin in school and loved how she just spouted off those lines, and very realistically had to substitute a word she didn't know for a close one she did. You can also see some symbolism in the word as a title, because to the rest of the world, they're two girls in a bedroom. Only they know they actually meant "closet" which gives it some significance.

 

Im trying to write a novel. I've tried before but I loose interest/my attention span is too short. Any suggestions for helping me keep on track?

 

I have the same problem, but it's a collection of short stories that I'm writing. I've come up with characters, and story events in my head, but I don't find the time to write.

 

I'm writing many things at the moment. The genres that I write are usually fiction, angst, romance, and poetry. Most of the time my main characters are gay or lesbian. I'm trying to write a poem about being demigender without actually saying anything about gender at all.
I've been writing since I was around 6, and I really want my writing to become a professional thing one day. I've entered contests and won many of them. Its something I've always loved doing. I'm starting to work on song writing now that I'm developing more advanced vocabulary, and figurative language. I also play the guitar, and thats another reason to write music.

 

I should be writing. I've got a short story I started a week ago that I'm stuck on. I know where I want it to go and what it's about... I'm stuck on one part.

On top of that, I keep putting off rewriting the epilogue to my book. Because the epilogue I have now sucks and I want to change it, but I also want to work on my short story. :bang:

 

I love writing stories, but I often find myself a few paragraphs into the story, just after I've introduced the characters that I want, but then I can't think of anything else to write in the story.

I should probably plan out my stories better, take notes for the whole plot and divide that into chapters to write. Or I should look up some prompts, because it's hard to come up with ideas.

I've tried writing fanfiction before, but I find it hard to get into the heads of the characters since they're real people (or someone else's characters) with their own personalities. But if I make my own characters, I can choose what they think. I don't have to worry about accidentally having them say something way off character, because they're my character with a personality that I can create.

Maybe this is why I used to love The Sims 3 so much. But now I'm running out of ideas for that game too.

 

I posted another thread in Entertainment about a romance I'm writing from the perspective of a gay squire in the middle ages. Does that appeal to anyone here?

 

Hi. I'm currently writing a story about a homosexual vampire couple, set in the 22nd century. Their world is at war, and they are under attack. I have most of the stry doen out, but i'm just wondering how to actually start it. Any help wuld be much appreciated,
Thanks.