Why do LGBT people call themselves queer?

It's a generalised term for sexual and gender minority status, rather than an alphabet soup of specific identities. A person might individually identify as queer if they want to ambiguate their gender identity or sexual orientation.

 

I used to call myself "queer." It was because, at the time, I didn't know the right "letter" for my sexual orientation; I just knew I wasn't hetero. So, at the time, I felt like it was the best word to describe me. To me, it simply meant "not straight."

Like someone else noted, "queer" does not have to mean "odd" or something negative. I am odd, and I'd rather be that because, frankly, I consider "normal" people boring. I can't even remember why I decided to have a username here with the word "normal" in it, because there's not much "normal" about me and never has been. And the other user who mentions reclamation...like I mentioned yesterday on another thread here about black people, white people and language...some minority groups take negative language over time and flip it to a different meaning. I really don't care how dictionaries define words. There is a particular racial slur I looked up in various dictionaries online several months ago, and none of those dictionaries define that slur the way it used to be defined in dictionaries. And almost every time I go to Urban Dictionary, I read some weird explanation that I've never, ever heard/seen before for what some popular word or phrase means. So, language and meanings of words are not stagnant in the slightest; they're always changing, and people are always considering themselves doing something new and creative with words and phrases.

Being part of multiple less-privileged identity groups, I really couldn't care less what the world "understands." I'm sorry, I know that's not what a lot of LGBT people want to hear/read. I just know that, having spent decades as part of two other groups that it feels like everyone hates--including 90+% of the members of those two groups--I can't force people to accept me or think the way I'd prefer that they think. I'm not interested in trying to force it; I spent, basically, my whole childhood and teenage years trying to do that, and it never really worked. In fact, in a lot of ways, it feels like everyone hates those two groups of people more today than ever before--not in every way, but definitely some ways. LGBT people are among the latest minority groups to fight this type of battle, and I know that most LGBT people have hope for wide-scale positive change in the future for LGBT people. I just don't share that hope (meaning I don't have faith in that happening to the degree that most LGBT people believe it will), and I am really exhausted and discouraged--not to mention disappointed with and disgusted by what seems to just be human nature--from everything I've experienced up to this point, to the point where I really can't be bothered anymore about what different groups of people believe about others.

 

Mostly to reclaim a slur and make it into a positive. I know many feminists have tried to reclaim “bitch” and “cunt” to far less success but for the same reasons.

 

My problem with queer is that the etymology is actually part of how we use it. It is both not a word exclusively used as a slur (the use of 'queer' as a non-sexuality related term for otherness remains current) and the process of reclaiming the word 'queer' involves, as I've pointed out, the explicit acceptance of a label of otherness in the same frame as users of the slur intend. That's not the end of the world, but it's why I don't use it.

My argument isn't that reclamation of the word queer doesn't change its use and intended meaning, it's that reclamation entails change that is either insufficient or undesirable. I think that's unhelpful both in how it entrenches the otherising effect of the slur (the most common concern) as well as empowering a certain branch of queer politics that I just don't think most people of gender and sexual minorities follow (my rather more niche but far more significant concern).

Now I am very aware that the word is not always used in the second way I criticise. I generally would not call people out on using it. I do, however, really want to oppose the prevailing trend, particularly in trans politics, where radicalism and the ownership of the word 'queer' goes through a twisted process of academic-cultural elitism. That ownership purports to create one correct, exclusively defined queer politics.

I think 'queer' is often used in a bizarre postmodern self-construction that is deeply exclusive, while claiming to be inclusive. It's the inner-Melbourne academic who uses 'they' pronouns, decrying the outer-suburban gay male tradie as an 'assimilationist' who disempowers the vulnerable with his conformity, despite the fact he is possibly more prone to social exclusion on the basis of sexuality, or completely disconnected to a 'queer' community, in the social circles he inhabits. That culture of queer studies and advocacy is, in effect, the construction of elite cultural and academic spaces in which a certain ensconced, protected 'otherness' is a marker of legitimacy - an exclusive right to speak on behalf of others. For example I find it particularly galling when a radical queer-feminist opponent of gay marriage with a PhD, high disposable income and a husband critiques a white gay politician's right to marriage as a perniciously oppressive institution. While neither is remotely representative of genuine socio-economic dispossession, the language of 'queer' politics allows the former to claim ownership.

I think the word 'queer' has been fairly instrumental to that process, or has so effectively been co-opted as to be inseparable from it. When the legitimate denunciation of one form of elitism (gay male dominance in social advocacy) creates a new elitist framework (no-platforming, definitional ownership and exclusive rights to speak) then I get really concerned. I think the term 'queer' can be a deliberately ambiguous tool of the ivory tower. It's expanded when useful to claim ownership (a gay man engaging in apparent heternormativity is abandoning queerdom, is abusing privilege) but limited to delegitimise opposition (the only legitimate speakers are those sufficiently queer, and they just so happen to be those inside the ivory tower).

The concept of queerness is either inadequate (I am 'the other' and I have to become okay with it) or completely inaccessible and owned by a clique capable of reframing and redefinition as suits. That is why I don't use it any longer.

 

This was hard to reply to mainly due to your criticism to the Ivory Tower and the inaccessible nature of queerness while writing your argument in ways that only a few people will be equipped to argue. You must be aware of just how inaccessible your own language is when it comes to critiquing queer theory, right?

I think the critique is spot on in academic circles, but I also think you have been removed from people who are using queer to create culture outside of academic spaces. Becoming okay with being the other and surviving is a survival tool that many have used before. Simply because you don't like being the other doesn't mean that it doesn't work for some people

Context, come on. You seem fairly familiar with the work of Dr. Kimberlé Crenshaw to understand that simply because people hold power in academic spaces it doesn't mean that their power translates to larger institutions in our lives. There is valid criticism when it comes to the classism and elitist in queer politics, but stopping the usage of the word queer by other people isn't going to solve that. The word is useful for survival and creating an identity that is largely uninfluenced by how straight people perceive queer people. That is powerful.

But my main argument will always be that we can't police other people's labels. If you don't like Queer that is completely fine, but so is defining yourself as Queer. I think the argument that using the word queer goes against other LGBT people is not true.

 

This is how I feel.

I haven't found an appropriate label for myself yet so I kind of like the word queer since it's more general.

 

I don’t really care. I can understand why people may be offended though. You only hear people use “queer” to mean “odd/weird” in old books.

The part I don’t understand is what exactly “queer” means. Sometimes it’s used to mean a gay person and sometimes it’s used to mean a sub group within LGBT... hence the “LGBTQ.” I still don’t know what the Q actually means, unless it’s just repetitive.

 

For me queer as a title is about the notion that LGBT people have something worthwhile to say about society as a whole, that the experience on the fringe and the experience of building relationships and communities outside society's neatly crafted rules about how it all works has value in and of itself from which the rest of the world could learn. For me it's the gay liberation side of the movement as opposed to the Mattachine arm. I think it's pretty clear at this point that the Mattachines won and to be honest that makes me deeply sad. The goal of the movement seems to be for us to be assimilated entirely into the existing society--we're just like you! And like I said that makes me deeply sad, so I feel my sensibility is queer.

So do I actually describe myself that way? Not generally. The fact of the matter is that while my vision is queer my actual life is frightfully conventional. My relationship with my husband is more like that of my parents than even those of my straight siblings. For me "queer" is a lofty and noble goal from which I fall sadly short...

 

Hi. I personally identify as a queer girl because I’m not comfortable with any other label - if I can’t be straight and I can’t be gay, I want to use queer. I know it may offend some, but it is my identity, the word means a lot to me, and I won’t stop using it. It’s a general umbrella term - I own a rainbow flag despite the fact that I’m not gay (there isn’t a queer pride flag). I can’t speak to the history of the word, and I don’t use it because I want to “reclaim it” or prove anything. I’m queer - not gay, not straight, not bisexual, queer. I’m proud to carry that word with me. True to the definition of the word, I’m not normal by soceity’s standards. And that’s fine by me. If anyone ever tries to throw it at me as an insult, I can nod and say “thanks!”.

I’m queer, I’m here, get used to it!

 

A number of words are being reclaimed, but also being used politically, yes.

I think it's important to understand these words' historical and cultural resonance as well.
Of course, the bae behind Queer Theory, Judith Butler:
If you're willing to sit through this, Disidentification:
Jack Halberstam (LOVE The Queer Art of Failure)
Here's a funny one

I mean, I could post more. Queerness is a convoluted concept and term. A lot of it comes out of radicalism and the radical activism. Of course, it's in academia (of course it is!) and I think it's been diluted down now. I identify as queer since I see my identify as slippery and multifaceted, touchstoning on many identities and complicating how others view me. It's performative (as Butler says) and always in-flux. I like the term, but I also think about it A LOT. I literally write on it.

 

I'm British and I've never heard of the word used as a synonym of 'sick'. I sometimes use the word queer because I personally don't see it as a negative. Also if I only use the word gay it doesn't encompass all the parts of LGBT that I am if I don't want to out myself as trans, queer does.

 

That's interesting! I haven't either, but I have noticed that this younger generation (I'm in my thirties, so I would say under 20) views it as a "slur." I think this is a lack of understanding of history, especially the 1970's activism and protests.

 

I don't usually use it with myself, since "lesbian" or "gay" are sufficient for me to describe myself, but I see the value of it for people who are in the in-between spaces of gender or sexuality. It's an umbrella term for pretty much anything non-cis-het, and it's useful to have a word like that, since it means we don't have to keep overloading the LBGTQIA+/QUILTBAG acronym into eternity (and then argue over what should or shouldn't be included). And for the rarer cases that don't fit easily into a single letter (say, an intersex bisexual person or a genderfluid asexual), or even someone who is still questioning, I think it's useful to have a more general term.

I mean, to me, it's sort of a way of saying "I was raised in this world where everyone is assumed straight and cis by default, but I feel that I'm different." I'm okay saying I'm different, since in fact the majority of people are cis and het. But I get how "different" and "abnormal" can get conflated by people who already hate us, and how using words that mean "different/other" to describe ourselves can just reinforce that cis-het is "normal/standard" and we're the aberration. Because of that, and its history as a slur, I totally understand and won't use it if it offends people. But I find it succinct when used as a more general term for any non-cis-het gender identities and sexualities.

 

The more time I spend here the more likely I’ll call myself straight. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m not nearly as bi or gay as most of the members here. I’m still bi but it seems to be fading. Strange, this site may have the opposite affect from what I was expecting

 

Might be that getting an outlet to explore your gay feelings have relieved anxiety and guilt and allowed you to focus on the totality of you preferences.

 

It’s possible. I’ve been on here awhile now. I know I’m not straight, but I just don’t think I’m as close to gay as I thought. I’m just glad I didn’t have a knee jerk reaction and blow up my marriage and then realize I made a mistake. It could change in the future I guess

 

T

Thats not to say that I don’t still get urges of a decidedly gay nature, because I do and probably always will. I just think I prefer women over men

 

I don’t like or use the word queer, I don’t feel like it accurately describes me. I don’t like how people use it as a blanket label. I don’t like straight people using it to describe themselves.