Who wants to just Yell

Hey! being funny is all I have. I'm ugly, I'm not a very interesting person to talk to, except for the few cases that I get my chance to talk about WH40K, RPG, physics, computing. So... I have to be able to make jokes out of anything to keep a conversation alive...

 

Haha, could've fooled me

 

I can relate to this in these situations:

A friend and I were having a conversation on the acceptance of masturbation (his idea (The pink of this icon bugs me. Grr. Anyway...)). He stated I was a non-religious, straight male which supposedly helps determine my masturbation frequency. When I questioned what sexuality has to do with this, he replied he knows nothing about gays yet assumes they're cleaner and more feminine people. The grudge I'm building against this guy helped my want to correct him.

Which reminds me, one time I pasted a girly-sounding quote to him in an instant message. Since he thought I wrote the quote, he said he thought I was a "fag" until I told him I'm not the author.

In a class I was joking around with a friend. I wouldn't let him touch my hand, as if I had a hand phobia. He asked how'd I'd handle having a girlfriend with this problem. (He often holds hands with his girlfriend.)

 

I can relate to that situation... there was one day in school when our basketball team went to the state tourney, so our school allowed kids to go watch the team play during school, that is if they have a parent signature. Well my parents didn't want me to go, so I stayed at school. So, during that day, probably about 75% of the kids were gone, and each class only had around 5 or 6 people (it was kinda fun).

Anyways, I was sitting in spanish class, and the 4 of us and our teacher were all just talking. Somehow, the topic of homosexuality came up. Now, my teacher, probably one of the nicest teachers I've ever had, she has 2 kids and she told us that she was divorced so I just assumed it was the usual divorce. I don't know how, but the topic of homosexuality came up and she told us that her ex-husband is gay. I felt kind of shocked, and didn't really know what to say. Some questions came up from the other students, but I just stayed quiet, not really knowing what to say. Then one of the students (who I once thought might have been gay because he is sort of feminine) said something like "I would hate that, to just one day wake up and all of a sudden be gay." OMG I wanted to scream at him. That's not how it is!! But luckly my teacher explained it that they don't just all of a sudden turn gay, they've known it their whole lives and are in denial or w/e (she said some other stuff too, but I can't seem to remember). Then she finally said "Why am I telling you guys these things anyways?" She laughed and said "We should change the subject." 5 minutes later, the bell rang.

 

Homosexuality and schools. they can't even handle straight sex... There is no single teacher in my life that has ever told anything sensitive or even rational about gays. And since I hated most of them for other reasons their opinion didn't matter to me. Anyway... I usually get all blurry and can't seem to think a full sentence when homosexuality subject comes up. I fear I might say something that will give me away... and I can't bare the thought of letting people know that way... it is just plain wrong... to them and to myself.

 

Yeah, that's exactly how I felt.

Haha yeah, from that point on I never doubted him as being straight.

 

people in my class say " dont u like girls" i said yer but am lying
the thing is why do they need to ask

 

Because they are trying to figure our whether you're straight or gay, perhaps? They must have some idea if they are asking stuff like that....

 

i want to yell out but held back because people that i might want to tell are going to take it badly because they might think i was not gay or bi

 

OMG! Me!! lol lately, I just want to scream at the top of my lungs that I am a lesbian!

 

Yeah totally. I just dont because I am way to insecure about, well, everything.

 

I want to yell out that I'm not straight every day. I don't have any gay friends to talk to, so whenever I see a girl I like, I can't just blurt out "Oh she's cute" 'cause my girl friends are too busy looking/talking about cute guys -__- Even with my guy friends, I can't really talk about girls w/o them getting all turned on about girl-on-girl action -______-

 

I've done that a few times...>_< though usually it was in response to something hateful. "I'M GAY, SO FUCKING DEAL WITH IT!!"....yeah.

 

This thread was probably made the same month and year I realized I was gay. x.x

 

I know how you feel. These past few months especially it has been difficult for me to speak to anyone without my mind yelling "I'M GAY!"