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When did you realize you're gay and not bi

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Geek, May 6, 2017.

  1. Mahidevran

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    until last year, I thought I was bi or even pan, but then I realised I was just fooling myself as I can't develop romantic feelings for girls. sure I can be friends with anyone regardless of gender, but when it comes to love, there is always a man.
    there was a girl I liked years ago. I thought I was in love with her at that time, but now I know that I wasn't. it was purely platonic feeling.
     
    #21 Mahidevran, May 12, 2017
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  2. 6qurious9

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    I thought I was bi for a week but felt as if I was tying myself to a sense of heterosexuality to fit in. Once I learned to be fully comfortable with the idea of me actually not being into guys and only girls, I didn't consider myself bi anymore. I think I felt the need to consider my self slightly hetero because I felt as if I was going through a transition of the way I viewed the world and myself with coming to terms with my sexuality. Especially since I was brought up religiously from my father's side.
     
    #22 6qurious9, May 12, 2017
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  3. Weregild

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    I though I was straight even though I always had feelings and was attracted to girls. I still haven't figured out my sexuality yet, but I think I might be bisexual. It's just that I'm really not interested in having a relationship with a guy.
     
  4. FragileVampire

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    It wasn't until 2 years ago that I finally came to grips with the fact that i'm truly gay.
    I had programmed myself to think I was bi and that meaningful relationships would only ever happen with guys.
    I only ever got really excited about hooking up with women, but rationalized it that it was because I didn't view those as serious commitments and the adventure of it made it more exciting.
    All the while every relationship I had with guys were really short, frustrating affairs that I never felt comfortable in.

    I hate the fact that it took me as long as it did for me to truthfully come out to myself. But now that I did everything seems to make a lot more sense.
     
  5. Shoei Loei

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    As a whole, I consider sexuality to be fluid. So at any given time in my life, I've identified as asexual, bisexual, and lesbian (as I currently identify as). I started fully becoming aware of sexuality and questioning mine when I was about 17 or 18. Before that, I had no interest in relationships or sex, and I was fairly unaware of sex. So I identified as bisexual from the time I was about 18, up until I was about 20. Then I met a guy, decided to give it a shot, and was with him for about 4 years. I didn't really realize my sexuality then either, but I did recognize that I wasn't really enjoying being intimate or romantic with a man. After that relationship ended (I was about 25 then), I had a brief experience with another man that I deeply disliked and felt uncomfortable with. Something wasn't clicking, and I began to become aware of my sexuality once again. I had tried to come out when I was 17, but that didn't go well, so for years I basically pretended I was straight. I tried to convince myself I was straight, but in my mid twenties, those feelings towards women began to return. I think I was 26 when I realized I was more attracted to women than men, and that I had little to no attraction toward men at all. So I began to come out as bisexual to some of closest friends, and that went well. But after some months, bisexual didn't feel like it fit me because I still had no feelings or desires toward men, and I felt myself more sexually and romantically oriented towards women. So I think I was 26 (nearly 27) when I began trying to come out as a lesbian, and to this day I'm still trying to become more comfortable with who I am. Lesbian fits me for sure, but I still don't feel totally comfortable with myself (it's just a matter of acceptance and feeling proud of who I am). So I'm working on it. Honestly, it's hard to explore sexuality at my age (at least it is for me). So I haven't really had any meaningful experiences or relationships with other woman, which makes others question my sexuality. It's like they challenge me because I haven't been with any women. So I feel like I'm safer just remaining alone and almost acting in an asexual manner for the time being.
     
  6. jscott3320

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    This is a great topic. As a young man I never saw the female anatomy unless it was the sears catalog with bras and girdles. From a young age boys shower in large areas and see other boys and even men. The fascination with the male anatomy was just that. When I started to masturbate I became clear in my likes and dislikes. I did not identify with other men, I sought out women and their parts. Then at 15 a guy (10 yrs. older) introduced me to man-man play. When he touched my penis I was in heaven. When he suggested I do the same to him I enjoyed that too. After I came I was really happy and a little confused. By this time I had touched a girl and it got me stimulated. I humped a girl and I came. Now this guy is providing direct contact that is better than anything I had experienced. I was lucky enough to play with this guy for 15 years on and off. I still play with men and enjoy it thoroughly

    I was confused – how could I like being with a guy? Was I gay? There was no such thing as bi in the 60’s. I decided I would not give up a great orgasm every other week with this guy. I began, with comfort to realize you did not have to choose. I was discreet, and no one knew of my activities. I do not believe there should be labels. I believe, on any given day, a guy can excite a guy and the same for girls and girls. I defy anyone to be blindfolded and have the same sex perform oral sex and the result would be an orgasm – no doubt about it.
     
  7. Fire Wolf

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    I have had quite a bit of realization in the past two years. The beginning of seventh grade (last year) I though I was straight, but I was questioning. Pretty quickly I relized I liked girls, but I thought I was bi with a female preference. Then the summer before eighth grade I started to realize, wow I don't like guys. I started to really think about it and came to the (at the time) kinda scary conclusion that I was indeed gay. So it took me a few months to a year to figure it out. Now I'm gay and proud and I'm trying to come out to everyone.
     
  8. resu

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    I started out in puberty thinking I was heterosexual but only a few crushes. When I first started having feelings for guys, my attractions to girls/women died down quickly, probably within a year.
     
  9. Broncogay

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    I've always played straight with gay tenancies and thought I was bi. Finally came out to myself as gay about a month ago. I love men so much more then woman. Now I just need to come out to the world. First step here.
     
  10. DusDogs

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    I am probably a bi/panromantic homosexual, on very rare occasions Bi... But my attraction to girls is so low in comparison with my attraction to guys, gay is short and simple and explains enough... Like there was this girl :grin:in my old class I really liked because of the person she was, she was so nice and cool and we got along so well... But back then my sex drive hadn't kicked in yet and wasn't really busy with attraction and stuff... I also don't believe that anybody is fully Straight or Gay, like I am about 75% attracted to males, 25% to females. The only tip I could give you is that go with what feels good and don't force anything...:thumbsup:
     
  11. Sprinkles

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    I remember one specific moment where it kind of clicked in my head that I was interested in guys.
    I was in fifth grade and it was late May. The faculty & staff announced we would be having our graduation ceremony at the neighboring high school. We would showcase a lip-sync performance of "Reach For The Sky" from "The Fresh Beat Band" a Nick Jr. kid's show.
    Anyway, my class was walked to the high school auditorium where we would be performing, were separated into boys & girls and were told to wait for whatever reason. While we were waiting to practice our performance in the auditorium, the boys I was with began to talk about having sex with girls. One boy in particular who was a tall curly-haired latin boy began to demonstrate how he'd ram a girl. He started speaking in a deep voice and said "Take it, yeah you like it don't you?". Then he began to female moaning in pleasure said "Yes daddy", and sped up his humping motion and afterwards started talking about how big his penis was. Everyone laughed, but i was EXTREMELY excited. Not boner excited, but I couldn't stop staring at his bulge. At that moment I thought about something: is dick REALLY that good?. Afterwards I ventured more into the realm of porn, specifically gay porn, and in 6th grade I secretly identified as gay.
     
    #31 Sprinkles, May 31, 2017
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  12. Kodo

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    More like, for me, when do I realize I'm gay and not ace.

    I have identified as ace since I was fourteen. But I am not sure if that is wholly accurate? I still have a lot of gender and mental health issues to work through before I can say for certain. All I know is that I am open to possibilities, and yeah, guys can be pretty.
     
  13. MCairo

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    I've never wanted to sleep with any woman.
     
  14. Altruistic blue

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    Wow I relate to this a lot. Only difference is that I found out that I wasn't straight and that I was bi. But I went through that same situation that you went through. Fortunately I'm still very good friends with her, and she hasn't changed her sexuality to straight, but she is ultimately looking for a Guy as of now.

    I noticed throughout my like that I've been very attracted to women, and didnt realize that it was attraction that I was feeling. I think my attraction to men is a different feeling than my attraction to women, but thats another long story. But it all goes down to my comfort level, and lately I've felt more comfortable with women.

    So throughout my life I thought I was straight because that was the environment I lived in, but then very recently I felt disconnected from the title and realized I was bisexual after a years long process of thinking about it
     
  15. RedTrekkie95

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    By 14 I knew I wasn't straight. Two years later I've thought that I'm bi, but by the time I was 17 and had more time to think about it, I've accepted that I'm gay. For me it took some looking into what it actually means to be bi/gay before I was sure.
     
  16. swimmingfly

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    I realized I was attracted to girls in 6th grade and just thought I was bi. In 9th grade, I realized that I'm not attracted to guys, just girls. I'm A hOmOsExUaL
     
  17. 2718jasompes

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    For some time I actually would get crushes on girls, but then I realized that my crushes on guys were the only ones that actually lasted... I didn't really want to accept that I was just gay, but at that point there wasn't much reason to think I was any bit straight. So in terms of when, pretty early on, I would say, given that I'm still young now.
     
  18. swimmingfly

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    I realized I liked girls in 6th grade so like 11 or 12 I guess. I realized I was a lesbian this year in a super weird way. Honestly I woke up one day and just wasn't attracted to guys anymore idk it was the strangest thing. I knew I liked girls then BAM! I was only into girls. It sounds super weird but that's honestly how it happened.
     
    #38 swimmingfly, Jun 3, 2017
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  19. NoPlaceLikeHomo

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    No, but there was a brief period of time that I though being gay was a choice, so I tried to decide to be straight.

    We all know how that worked out for me.
     
  20. poltergirl

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    I was questioning my sexuality for a long time, before suddenly coming to the realization recently-when hetero just wasn't my style.