What to do if gay at school prom

I didn't go to mine and I do kind of regret it. I wanted to ask one of the girls in my grade to our prom but I wasn't allowed to because of the Bible's condemnation of homosexuality. I wasn't allowed to wear a tux to it either. I wasn't the only one who asked, one of my friends (who's a guy) wanted to wear a dress and his partner (a girl) wanted to wear a tux too but the teachers found out and put a stop to it. One of the guys I know did get away with wearing eyeliner though, he's got more guts than I do!

And I'm not big on guys or dresses so I didn't feel comfortable going. I was one of the two kids in the grade that didn't go and I feel like I missed out :\ If I'd gone to a public school, I would've gone no question but you know, there's no point dwelling on it now.

I say go if you want but if prom's not your thing then don't bother. If your school will allow it or if it doesn't and you're brave enough (XD) you could go with another guy, I'm assuming you are a guy. You could either ask someone you know isn't straight or a straight guy who's cool with it, I don't know and you could just ask to go as friends. Or, if you have any friends who are girls, you could ask them too. Another alternative is just going alone. I think a lot of schools would allow same sex couples if that's what you wanted anyway. I wouldn't overthink it too much, it's not until June ^^

 

Prom's aren't such a big thing in my country, or at least they weren't when I was your age, also I wasn't completely clear on what my sexuality was back then but I went with my best friend. She left school before our prom (we call them formals) and I was dateless so I invited her as my +1 so she could come back and see everyone and get the experience of going to it. I love her to bits, we've been best friends for 20+ years now but I have never felt any attraction towards her and she is very very straight - she full on loves men and has never hidden it. Ha ha ha! We are like family and our school friends knew all that and didn't care or read anything into it (or at least if they did I never found out about it!). In my year at school there were only two people who had come out by that stage. Both were male. If memory serve me right they went together as friends in a big group, much the same as I did. Again, it was clear they were just friends.

I think there are a lot of factors that probably feed into your situation that didn't feed into mine though. I wasn't sure of my sexuality then, as I have already said and I was also single. If you were going would you want to take a date? Do you have a partner? Do you school friends and teachers know your sexuality?

 

My sister had a few friends who took each others significant other to the prom as the date (so the school would be okay with the couples) then when they got their they switched dates, so the boyfriend could be wih the boyfriend and girlfriend with girlfriend. I'm not sure if the school found out, but usually there's so much going on the teachers and staff probably didn't notice.

 

Yeah I used to chaperone for the dances and I noticed it all the time but never said anything to the higher ups I thought, whatever, kids will be kids if it makes them happy go for it. I graduated at an older age than most of the kids in my class. The only other kid in my age range was a kid with Downs syndrome. Oops forgot to add my advice. My advice is go for it. Be careful and do what makes you happy.

 

Then go with a girl you get on with and have a good time. Don't put yourself out there unless you want to. Try to just have fun. You might be surprised by who noticed you. I mean I went with a girl and a guy and had fun with both. So try to relax it's no big deal to go without a boyfriend this time.

 

@Joe2001 Do you want to go? If you do, are you reluctant to go alone? That may be the best option if you don't want to ask someone out who would either be a straight guy or a girl by the sounds of it.

 

Hi Joe2001,

I get that. It can be really difficult feeling so isolated. So does that mean you would rather not go? Otherwise I think the suggestion of a friend (even if not a close friend) might be a good option if you really want to go.

What about LGBTQ groups in your area? Could you go and do something with a group that night instead?

 

Ahh ok. Thanks for clarifying the situation.

In that case probably think about taking a friend. That's probably the easiest option if you do not want to be there on your own.

What about this 'friend' your parents made you make? Will he be going? Not to go together but would you be able/want to hang out with him once there?

 

I have a friend with many of those traits too so I get it, I really do. I also have social anxiety issues. I think though that my advice would still be to try and go. It's a thing that I think is worth accomplishing. Even if it doesn't work out, you will be able to tell not only your parents but also yourself that you tried!

 

That's a challenge but at least it means you won't be standing alone which, if I've read you right, would be worse?

Perhaps it would be a good idea to try and make some friends over the next months and see. Would the be an option? Even if it was just getting to know people at school more. Then the prom will be more fun. What do you think?

 

I just kinda skimmed your replies and such. Honestly,I went to mine and regret it. Maybe if it was free I would have gone, but it's pretty expensive,especially because while the event itself was okay, the highschooler drama leading up to it just made me feel stressed out and even more like an outcast.

In the nicest way possible, I feel like events such as prom are only fun if you have a few genuine friends from highschool to enjoy it with.

During highschool I probably hung out with "friends" like once or twice a year. I didn't have the heart to tell my parents I didn't really have any friends, and they didn't want to accept the fact lol. So I completely understand your parents trying to force you to go.

I see 3 options:
*Make a huge deal and don't go
*Be honest and tell your parents that you struggle to fit in and prom would just make that even more painfully obvious
*Recommend a family equivalent?

 

Can you ask a friend to go with you?