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What to do if gay at school prom

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Joe2001, Jan 10, 2018.

  1. Barbatus

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    @Joe2001 Thos guys are envious of will also have the own issues even if that is not as obvious. It's highly likely that none of the couples you know at school will last beyond school so don't think they have life sorted. They haven't anymore than you have.

    And don't think those doubts will disappear from life. Some people will be in job for 20 years and wake up one morning with that exact question ringing in their heads.

    You are still figuring out what you want to do with like and at your age (not sure what is got be 18 or under) that's not a bad thing.

    For the short term maybe try and make new friends or find a way to meet people - the more people you meet the more experienced you will become at social interaction and the more confident you'll feel. And anyone who tells you that social skills are innate and not learned is full of BS.

    Maybe long term figure out what interests you and pursue a career in that.
     
  2. Joe2001

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    I'm back!
    So, I received the documentation for it yesterday.
    I'm torn as to whether or not to go. Without friends or a boyfriend, I haven't got anyone, but at the same time, I don't want to be missing out.

    If only I could get a boyfriend.
     
    #22 Joe2001, Mar 8, 2018
    Last edited: Mar 8, 2018
  3. Myclosetisfull

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    Junior prom is 1 Month and a bit away as of today, and honestly not that excited but I will probably go just because I have never been to a school dance before.
     
  4. Barbatus

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    @Joe2001 If you want to go then you should go. You might even be able to make some friends there - you know get to speak to people outside of the normal school environment. You might find you need to approach people to get talking.

    Whatever you decide, hope it works out.
     
  5. BadassFrost

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    Hey guys, sorry for getting slightly off the point, but I'm kinda intrigued how exactly this prom looks like in your countries (UK/US). Because I think in my country it's a bit different.

    I already attended my "prom" more than a month ago. In my country it's called maturitní ples, which means something like a graduation ball.
    It's usally a big event planned by students long beforehand, and has its own theme (e.g. Wild West, mafia, Olympic games, pirates, some famous movie, etc.) chosen by students. Except for dancing with parents/partners/friends/teachers, every class (here, students are divided into classes, groups that spend most of their subjects together) also performs a choreographic performance, (in costumes, with music, corresponding the theme, usually with a teacher as well). That's usually the highlight of the graduation ball. It's really fun.
    Before the event, every class also shoots a short movie, corresponding the theme and capturing some typical things they want to remember (e.g. students sleeping during a math), and then they project it during the graduation ball. Also a must, after the performance, every student gets a sash usually with their name or, if they choose to, a nickname. Then there's dancing and just having fun.
    And at midnight, there's "a midnight surprise", which is another performance involving some students or teachers (many of them already drunk). Also the whole event usually includes other things like raffle or some artistic group performance, and plenty of food.
    We usually invite friends, family members, etc., but they have to buy a ticket.

    So, I wonder how is a typical UK/US prom different from this? Do you also have any performance? Or just dancing? As I understand, you should bring a dancing partner right? (Here, you can dance with anyone, on my graduation ball, I even saw a boy couple and 2 girl couples, not from my school, dancing and nobody cared) I'm really curious about any detail, since I'm going to have an exam from English and very likely I will also talk about American and British school system, so the more I know about stuff like this the better :grin:

    Also @Joe2001 good luck!
     
  6. Joe2001

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    I have been at my school for 6 years - I don't feel compatible with anyone there, and by this point, everyone has their friend groups. It's tough as there is no out gay people in my year and I don't feel like I would meet the standard for a gay friend that girls seem to want. Not even going there with most straight guys, especially not overly masculine ones.
     
  7. Joe2001

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    No idea how my prom will be, but safe to say that it won't be as big as yours. That sounded quite interesting.

    The documentation said that people can bring partners from outside school, so there will probably be a dance of some sort, and many are basically taking dates. There falls the major problem for me.
     
  8. Bubblemonger

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    What is it with the whole "Fear of Missing Out" thing these days? I mean, in all honesty, you aren't missing much. If you are anxious about going, especially if people know you're not so straight, then don't make it a big decision you hinge your future on. I went to a very conservative high school. It was not fun. :frowning2:
     
  9. Joe2001

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    Bumping this thread because prom is today. As I predicted, I am not going and will instead be watching via FB photos.

    I am actually quite upset not to be going because I genuinely feel as if I am missing out. Everyone is making a big deal out of it and I simply won't be there. A girl did sort of ask me, but as she wasn't a guy and was too loud for me, I turned her down. This is my only chance at an official 'prom', and it's no longer there for me. It's only dawned on me in the past few days and it makes me feel sad.

    Next school dance will be the one for Christmas sometime in December. I am currently in the process of getting in shape, so should be more attractive by then. I don't want to miss out on that one. How could I find a male date for that?

    Furthermore, any suggestions on what to do to make up for missing out on this one-time opportunity?
     
    #29 Joe2001, Jun 7, 2018
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2018
  10. Barbatus

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    @Joe2001 You realise that your prediction you wouldn't go is a self-fulling prophecy right? You could have gone but you decided not to. I'm not saying that you made the wrong decision but you make it sound like external circumstance stopped you going which it hasn't.

    Personally, I don't see what the big deal is about a prom so I would never call it a 'one-time' opportunity but if you really want to go, why not ask this girl and go with her? So she's not a guy - at least you won't be going on your own. Or go on your own if you really want to go.
     
    #30 Barbatus, Jun 7, 2018
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2018
  11. Joe2001

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    It's tonight. Too late now.
     
  12. Joe2001

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    What should I do tonight to make up for missing this?
     
  13. Destin

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    Whatever is fun for you. I think you're attaching too much importance to the prom man. It's really not that special, and most of the 'specialness' is manufactured by parents trying to force it to be special for their kids because they didn't enjoy their own prom.

    I've been to 3 proms (one was mine, two were girlfriend's) and none of them were very interesting. It's really just a bunch of awkward teenagers dressed fancily attempting to dance with each other but not knowing how. The 'spiking the punchbowl' stereotype exists because the event is kinda boring without people being drunk.

    Don't get discouraged when you see the pictures on FB either, they're only going to take pictures that make it look fun and most will be posed for, they're not going to show the reality of it that 75% of it was boring.
     
  14. Love4Ever

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    I agree. I never went to prom, (I never actually went to high school because I was homeschooled) and don't feel like I missed out on anything. I am not into parties really all that much, I probably would never have gotten a date of either sex and I don't really like dressing up so to me, there was no loss. There are way bigger and better experiences in life than prom.
     
    #34 Love4Ever, Jun 8, 2018
    Last edited: Jun 8, 2018