LGBT News What are your thoughts on gay pride parades?

Maybe that's it!...

Don't let that 'fear' alone hold you back...just go!
Is there any sorta train/subway/etc that you can take, rather than needing to ask someone for a ride?

 

Well they are clearly popular and provide many with a nice day out but they are not for me.

I don't personally identify with the whole "rainbow flag" thing. I don't know, I just find it kind of irksome. Slap a flag on something and suddenly its "gay friendly" - where do you draw the line? Does every business need to fly a rainbow flag outside their offices? It just smacks of corporate b*llshitting to me, like companies who claim to be "green" and have "social responsibility" - its often just a public image thing.

Plus I really don't like being the idea of "having to like something". "You are gay, you must love rainbow flags, pink things and Lady Gaga!". They're pretty ubiquitous and I think its one of the first thing people think of when they hear the word "gay". I think its the sense of obligation that irks me so much. Other groups of people (be it heterosexuals, or other oppressed groups like women, black people or ethnic minorities) have the freedom to live their lives without a bright, garish flag being tied to their very existence. I just want that to be honest.

 

I don't like crowds and excessive noise, so they're not for me. For that matter, I have rarely gone to sporting events in a stadium, I have never been to a concert (orchestral performances don't count), and I stay a very short time if at a cultural, artistic, or ethnic type festival. I am mostly an introvert. Like 741852963 said, there is some groupthink and schema type thinking about pride parades, participants, and attendees and some of this thinking is valid. Some of it is not.

 

I haven't been to one, but some of the things I see in Pride parades like the half-naked men and all of that doesn't do it for me. It really doesn't fit my personality too much. However, I would like to try going to one because maybe the one I go to won't be like all the ones I've see and I might turn out to like it. I'm not too sure on what I think about them, but I'd like to give it a shot one day! I like the idea of standing up for who we are so yeah^^

 

:newcolor::newcolor::newcolor::newcolor:
I went to a pride parade today in boston and it was really fun! There was no naked people and a lot of rainbows and kids were there. Also the people are really nice and they give out free shirts. At the end there's a lot of food being sold and the only bathrooms are gross portapotties but otherwise it's great.

 

ok, thank you for this i might attend one now

 

Amen.

 

Yes, yes, yes.

 

In my hometown, they make the bigots' heads explode, so I'm more inclined to participate in one. However, I'd do it in the city where I go to school, where it's a full-blown pride parade instead of just one float during the 4th of July parade.

 

Well the one in Des moines sucks.
The one in L.A. awesome.

 

In the whole scheme of things, what's the difference between a group of gay lifeguards wearing budgie smugglers (speedos) and a group of gay friends wearing underwear?

It's more about individual actions than what they're wearing / not wearing.
And we seem to only see the more "out there" actions on the news etc..

Peace be with you.

 

...or gay people who do not identify as "queer" or feel that is a derogatory term, who are tired of being mislabeled and wrongly categorized, or treated as "less gay" purely because we might have different beliefs or outlooks on what it means to be gay. Queer is a (historically derogatory) word used to define an identity felt by some people. It is not a blanket description for all gay people (unless used as a homophobic slur).

And who are you to say people need to "get over it"? Surely the reverse could be said and people who enjoy pride need to just "get over it" and accept the fact that it may not be enjoyed or liked by everyone?

 

I went to my first pride parade yesterday. There were only two protesters that I saw. The fort was basically leading the parade. He was walking next to the cop cars at the front with a sign that looked like a tombstone that said"America is Doomed" on one side and "God Hates Fags" on the other. The second protester was near the end of the route shouting bible crap.

The parade itself was a fairly small event that went about half a mile and ended with a small rally. There were a few creative costumes like the guy(ok pretty sure it was a guy under there) who was wearing what looked like a crochet body suit and mask in rainbow colors with what almost appeared to be a skirt of flowers which formed a long train. But most of the people were wearing t shirts with messages like "pride" or "support gay marrage". I don't recall seeing one person who had their shirt off. Though someone did make a "Falcor" from The Never Ending Story that was awesome.

 

i like them. ours could have done with less men in speedos, but i didn't see anything negative come from the parade.

 

I agree with him, so how about if I address your questions......

No one said you HAD to attend, or it is even expected. We only request that people do not spread false ideas of what it is about. They should attend and then they will know what it is about. Instead of passing on rumors. You are worried about 'being catagorized" Because of your own internalized Homophobia. As in "How dare people think that I am like that? I pass just like I am straight!" (like the Octroon that is light enough to pass as white)

True, not everyone identifies as being Queer, but some of us DO identify as Queer. I personally am a Queer Femme, and ya know what? I refuse to let you, or anyone else, steal what I am from me. This is a place I can go to be with my wife, that is safe and accepting of how I view my gayness. People who do NOT say they are Queer(labels are up to the individual)are just as much a part of Pride, as anyone else. Every shade of Gay or Queer is 'GOOD ENOUGH'. It's ACCEPTABLE ENOUGH. You don't have to be Queer to attend, nor do you have to even be LGBT at all. It's a celebration of our MANY identities and how we are gay. It's a celebration of the beginning of the Gay rights movement, that all started at Stonewall. It's something that needs to continue, it is a celebration of our culture and of our fight for equality.

Sometimes, when people get upset at people acting out their gayness at Pride, I hear the people saying that mixed race children are not black enough, or are too black to understand their whiteness. I hear the ghost of people saying that Trans women are not allowed if Womyn only spaces. I hear discrimination against Butch/Femme energy, that people who don't identify at this or that are not REAL lesbians or REAL gay men. I read a lot of that crap here on this board, and I call Bullshit. I read that some of our gay youth are questioning if they are enough, this or that, for this label or that label, and this shit has to stop. When people say "people at Pride are too gay or too Queer" or "it's all about sex and being naked"you are actually showing internalized homophobia]. You are saying that people:
Need to pass to be accepted.
Anything else would not do.
Act straight!
Cover up, don't wear that!
You make straight people think that we are all like that!
If you're too gay/queer then you are a blight on the LGBT culture.

Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit! How dare anyone say this?

ALL shades of gayness are needed out there, we come in MANY colors and flavors. From Beautiful and brash Queens to the feminine Lipstick girls/Femmes with their lovely girlfriends who pass by their own people without anyone knowing. Daddies and Mommies with their babybois and babygirls, Leathermen and women, Transmen and Transwomen, Bisexuals, Pansexuals.....and Allies.

Seriously, this crap just makes me P.O.'d, you don't have to attend, but don't negate it either.

 

This, this, a thousand times this. It amazes me that I honestly hear more crap about how gay people should stay in their place here than I do in my real life. All this crap about how awful gay people are and how we would have so much easier of a time if all the gay people out there would just stop being so gay--WTH? We've even had several conversations on the board lately where people talked about how other gay people need to stop shoving it in straight people's faces. Seriously? The average straight person where I live knows that old chestnut is just a way to get gay people to go away so they don't have to deal with them and knows that for that reason it's not socially acceptable to say so--but to hear it from gay people... Seriously? Go to the parade, don't go to the parade--but stop with all the yammering on about how everyone else needs to be like you so you can finally be comfortable!

 

Absolutely not true. I'm not straight, I'm not queer either. I'm a gay man, anything else is incorrect. It is nice to be categorized correctly. See your sentence below where you yourself take offense at the idea of being miscategorized or your identity stolen:

Where was I trying to steal that away? If you would have read my post I was just trying to state that not every gay person is queer so it should not be used as the generic term for gay people as Aldrick has done.

The Stonewall riots were an influential turning point for gay rights, but to state they were the beginning of the gay rights movement is historically inaccurate and borderline disrespectful to those who fought before then.

Define "gayness" please. Is this a universal thing? How can a person be more gay or less gay? Is it a sliding scale?

No, because public nudity and simulating sex (a small part of pride) isn't "gayness" or "gay behaviour"...it is just plain old public nudity and simulating sex. Objecting to it is not internalized homophobia. There is a time and place for it (bars, clubs, festivals, adult parties) and I don't personally see what it has to do with being gay.

If people want to fight for their right to party and take their clothes off good for them, but its not really a gay rights issue. I don't think there is inherently wrong with people seeing this side of pride, but the fact is it does get the majority of the media coverage which could focus on other areas of the parade for a change. If people see a faceless painted Abercrombie model on a float in his pants its not going to kill them but, I don't know, it kind of has less of an impact than getting to see and hear about everyday gay achievements and struggles (its the focus is on the body, not the person - somewhat dehumanizing).

Just not anyone that doesn't like the parade, huh? We are just "self loathing" right? :rolle:

 

It's like any public event, some people are going to like, and some are going to hate it. TBH, I just wish people would stop raining on other people's parade :/

Personally I like it, it's a nice time to get out, go to the city, and have a good time. It's not different from anything else that goes on in public, yeah, there are people that do things to make an ass of themselves and are really embarrassing, but that doesn't mean the whole event's like that. People just dwell on the negatives tbh...

 

^ agreed.
I hate the flamboyance of pride parades. In some places it's not about being proud of humanity's achievements in equality etc but rather like a gay bar out on the streets.

 

741852963 -

You seem to believe that I was referring to gay men specifically, and even you specifically when I was using the term Queer. That is false. When I used the word Queer I was referring to everyone who is LGBTIQQA2+, and probably more than a few people who fall outside of that mouthful of alphabet soup. Which is why I deliberately used the term to refer to everybody, because what I wrote applies to more than just gay men. I used Queer, in it's modern context, to refer to the entire community because Pride is more than just for gay men (in other words it isn't all about you).

Context is important. If I say there is something queer going on outside, then contextually I'm saying: there is something strange going on outside. Because Queer also means strange, different, or eccentric. Just as if I were to say if questioned, that you were gay, I don't mean that you're happy. Welcome to the English language where words can have multiple meanings, and understanding how context works is important for communication.

Now, you can try to rip what I wrote out of context if you'd like, I can't stop you from doing that, and in truth I don't really care. In fact, you're free to go over to the Wikipedia entry for Queer and delete 99% of what is written there while you're at it.

You can choose to be offended if you want, that's outside of my control.

As for the rest of what you wrote, I'm not sure it really makes any sense. Those who support Pride have nothing to get over. Pride isn't going to go away. Ever. It's going to keep happening each and every year, hopefully in more and more places, and drawing bigger and bigger crowds. People who dislike Pride can either choose to be angry over this fact or get over it - those are really the only two options, because they aren't going away.

However, there are perfectly legitimate reasons to dislike Pride. I believe the large crowds and excessive commercialization were mentioned previously. Those are two very legitimate gripes, and there are likely countless more. The problem isn't that some people like Pride and other's do not - that's a matter of opinion. The problem is the reason why some people don't like Pride, and it's a problem whether or not Pride even exists.

The people I have an issue with are either bigoted straight people or LGBTIQQA2+ people who have internalized bigotry. (I'll avoid using the word Queer since it upsets you - although I do hope I didn't leave anyone out.) The bigoted straights are beneath my notice, and so I pay them no mind. My focus is on those who claim (or assume) that they are part of our community, even as they actively cause the community harm. What do I mean? Well, I'll explain.

There are two primary objections people in the community have to Pride and they either revolve around excluding certain groups of people or creating double standards for the community.

In the first instance, you have people telling individuals such as Pret that they don't belong. That they shouldn't show up to events. Why? Because they don't easily blend into the cis-gender straight world. They are just obviously not cis-gender and straight. Certain members of our community want to kick them out, either to placate the aforementioned straight bigots, or because they themselves have insecurities that they need to deal with. Whenever I see members who assume that they are part of the community acting in such a manner, I believe it's always important to show such individuals to the door. Tell them politely that all are welcome within our community, except those who would begin dividing it and ripping it apart, and when they've done whatever it is they needed to do to get over it then they are more than welcomed back within the tent.

In the second instance, it's a bit more insidious. It isn't as obvious as the first instance, because if you listen to it on the surface it might even sound reasonable. These are the people who point toward outward displays of sexuality, for example a man wearing swimwear on a float. They'll coat their comments in little phrases like "family friendly." And for the briefest of moments you may be inclined to nod along, until you realize the absurdity of what they're saying. The immediate response should be: "What? Are you saying you think taking your family to the beach or pool is inappropriate?" However, that's when you realize that it's a double standard. Because you know that the vast majority of the people who complain wouldn't think twice if it were a woman up there in a bikini, tossing candy or beads to people, or simply waving to the crowd. What's the difference? Oh, wait. I know. It's a guy who is perceived to be gay.

Now, there may be some people at this point who retreat and say, "It's not that he's gay, or even what he's wearing. It's the intent of what he's wearing: it's to titillate other gay men in the crowd, which makes it sexual." Okay. So, once again, if a straight woman were up there wearing a bikini - all in the hopes of titillating straight men - it'd be equally unacceptable? They might say yes at this point, to avoid the double standard. Which is fine, until you ask how often they go out and complain to straight people about it. How often do they condemn straight people for the same thing? If they complain regularly and often, okay fine. They're just a prude. There is nothing wrong with being a prude, that's perfectly acceptable, and thus they are exempt from the double standard. However, even if they are a legitimate prude, and the issue only comes up when it pertains to gay men? Well, they're still helping create a double standard. Why? Because in order for there to be equality people must be treated equally.

So, as long as straight people can get away with this. We are entitled to at least be treated equally. And I will point out that what you see straight people doing in that Spring Break video is a hundred times worse than ANYTHING you'll see at gay Pride. And you would know that, if you ever bothered to attend one.