What are you thinking?

Yes, holy crap. i can handle blood. But when there's flesh involved I can't do it. I cringe even watching medical dramas. If it shows surgery on screen, I'm gonna be sick. Thank fucking god for anesthesia cause if I had to be awake for any kind of surgery (and for the record, I've never once had surgery for any reason before) my body would go kamikaze.

But I sat through the whole damn movie. The real horror's that they green-lit more than one goddamn sequel.

 

Hahahahaha, well I can tell you from first-hand experience that it is not as bad as I thought it would be It was epidural anesthesia, so my lower body was basically dead, but I was awake the whole time. In a bit of a cloud, but conscious enough that I remember still being able to make the nurses laugh a couple of times—because what else will you do during your own surgery other than having small-talk with the folks cutting you open (!)

I did not, however, at any point dared to look down. I cherish my sanity too much to put myself through that, despite my curiosity.

 

I'm so weird, and not in a good way. o_o

 

Halloween was so boring. It's probably my least favorite of the 3 main late-year holidays, but I still wanted it to be exciting somehow. Bleh. Oh well, lol

 

The problem is, I totally would look down. :lol:

---------- Post added 1st Nov 2015 at 12:33 AM ----------

Yeah, I have mixed feelings about it. Love the decor and the idea of the holiday but once you're over the age of 14, it's creepy if you solicit candy from strangers without a small child in tow and all that's fun to do is go out and party. And I HATE parties. Least with Thanksgiving it's socially acceptable to sit at home and stuff your face while arguing with your relatives about politics.

 

Gosh, it's 7.35 AM here in the North. Time to go to bed soon, methinks. Whoop whoop.

 

Something went horribly awry hours after the surgery, but since the anesthesia hadn't completely worn off yet, I didn't notice something was wrong until I saw the trail of blood I left on my way to the bathroom. I looked under the gown and... I will always regret that

 

Holy crap. Yeah, if that were me, that gown would have turned brown...

--

Nanowrimo starts in 30 minutes so...hoping my boyfriend signs off with me soon so I can get started...

 

I miss her so much already, it's unbearable. I wish I was brace enough to tell her how much I love her.

I just feel really sad right now.

 

Would any transfeminine people like to have my chest? Let's start the bidding at a single Subway Fit Meal. Any takers? Okay, how about a bottle of Diet Coke? Nope? Okay then, free. It's for free. Someone please take it, I don't want them any more.

 

Wouldn't those be considered man boobs at this point? Well, ok. As long as they look and feel the part.

---------- Post added 1st Nov 2015 at 01:23 AM ----------

I feel so ignored in the threads that mean the most to me. Like I'm incapable of helping anyone.

 

Then I try to ask someone for personal advice in PM... and I can't send a PM. jesus save me

 

In my opinion:
I don't even count The Human Centipede as a horror movie. There is no actual horror in it, it's not that scary, it's just really, really, REALLY gross. My friends wanted to watch it in a party last night but when they actually saw the trailer they realised it's just horrible. But for reals, it's not a horror movie, just a gross piece of s**t.
Idk tho I've never watched it(I don't do horror movies or gross movies anyway so The Human Centipede? No freaking way).

 

I guess the 1st human centipede is within the boundaries of what I can consider as horror, but the second one was just 1 hr of sheer goreporn, beyond what I can consider as a real movie.

 

I've found myself in possession of some of her belongings and it comes as a small comfort that I am holding onto something that reminds me of her. It's like proof that this weekend really happened, that there is something special between us. It means she trusts me, it means she'll always come back eventually. It means that we have a precious treasured memory between us.

My only regret is that I was so quiet when we said goodbye. I wish I'd said more. I wish I'd told her how I felt, even that I love her. But I didn't. I hugged her and barely said a word. As she rounded the corner of the corridor I broke down crying and closed the door behind me.

She only left this morning and I already can't wait for her to come back. :icon_redf

 

Yay, I don't see two extra pages on the thread!

Anyway, I miss by bf im just glad I can see him In like 20 days for our first date.

 

That it's late and I need to go to sleep.

 

You know that feeling you get when you eat something that you've never eaten before? Yeah, that. My neighbor's cat died, and for "god" knows what reason he decided to make it into food. Being the swell guy that he is, he gave me, my brother, and dad some. Next up, dog meat.

 

Is it just me or is the guy who played Riker narrating this documentary?

 

Feeling lonely, I could use a hug.