What Are You Thinking?

What did I do to my wrist to make it ache this much? Can't put too much pressure on it, or hurts like no tomorrow.

 

I went to Best Buy with my mother today because she needed a new phone and didn't know what kinds of questions to ask or what kind of phone to get. While I was waiting for her and the employee to get her phone activated, I kinda just zoned out and noticed all the other customers there. It was noisy, but I couldn't hear anything. It was as if someone had muted the volume of life. I noticed all the smiling people. They were all with their spouses or significant others, with their family, with their friends. All smiling or laughing, and even if not either of those, clearly enjoying themselves. It was crushing to me. It really hit me hard. All these people have what I've dreamed of my entire life. A family, a significant other, friends, or some combination of the three. I just looked around from side to side. No one was there, and I don't know what I expected. Why did I expect friends and loving family and a boyfriend or husband to just instantly materialize beside me? When I get that zoned out, I truly think that my loneliness is literally driving me insane.

 

Dreams don't mean anything. Nope, nothing. So I totally don't have any feelings for this girl whatsoever. It's not like I feel some part of my mind flutter in happiness when she talks to me in real life or anything.

Or; :***:, please don't let this turn into a repeat of freshman year.

Maybe if I acknowledge what may or may not be going on with my emotions early enough I can keep it from becoming a problem.

 

Why do people make it a necessity to bring up my ex girlfriend and her new boyfriend when I happen to be around? Like, seriously, gag me with a spoon. I don't want to hear it. As if I don't feel crappy enough as it is.

 

Oh, I wasn't aware helping you for "a second" would take three hours of my time...

So, I go from possibly having some free time tonight to now likely staying up well past midnight. Thanks a bunch.

 

It's kinda bad when at the moment you have so much you have to do, you completely stop caring about any of it

 

I wish my friend would text me so I can go over and spend the night with her. Its not like I'm gonna sleep anyway. Might as well spend the time with someone.

 

Ow. Head. No. Don't hurt.

I need to get homework done, noooooo! NOOOOOO! STAHP!

... IBUPROFEN! WHERE ARE YOU? (Cannot find it in my medicine cabinent.)

 

Bought a 1994 Mustang today. I couldn't pass it up. It was originally $4,000, but I got it for $1,500 and my winter car.

I'd say that's a pretty awesome deal.

 

I dont want to be alive, i cant raise my head when i walk down the street anymore. Theyve won, i can barely do anything except drink anymore

Why do they mess my room up?! ITS MY ROOM, LEAVE IT ALONE! Dont want to anymore :'(

 

Hey guys, got a message from awesomedude2. He just wanted to let you guys know that he's currently unable to come to the boards due to some slight technical difficulties, but he will be back soon.

 

Someone say something nice? Someone give me a reason

 

(*hug*)

 

Being bipolar is annoying and this depression episode needs to go somewhere that isn't with me. :bang:

 

I know its really hard right now and I'm giving you a big hug (*hug*)

If you need anyone to talk to about anything, and I mean anything, give me a shout. I'll listen. (*hug*)

 

(*hug*) Let me give you a big virtual hug. It'll be OK. You'll get through this. We're all here for you.(*hug*)(*hug*)

 

Hugs for you my good sir. Things gotta be tough right now, but you got this. Don't let anyone (including yourself!) tell you otherwise.
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Jamming on my guitar instead of gaming. It's a little therapeutic.

 

Why the fuck did I do that. Fucking hell.