What Are You Thinking?

She's Tumblr. She breaths Tumblr. She is the embodiment of Tumblr. God, I love Tumblr.

 

If you asked me what I thought about people 5 years ago, I would say that I hate most of them. Now I realize that I do not hate them, a lot of them are just very disappointing.

On a side note, I will avoid the flu... without the flu vaccine. Watch me.

 

Eating is so badass, I mean you put something in a cavity where you smash and destroy it with 32 protruding bones and then a meat tentacle pushes it into a pool of acid and a few hours later you absorb its essence and transform it into energy just wow.

 

Oh alcohol.

 

How am I going to tell my mom the I put a small scratch on her car. fing shopping cart

 

After 8 minutes of careful consideration I've tentatively decided that it can fuck off. It's not even as if I'm ridiculously drunk right now, it's just URGH. Yeah.

edit: and my flat is now missing an ironing board and kettle and this is, for some reason, a huge problem for me.

 

I'm thinking about the GI appointment I have scheduled for Monday to have my umbilical hernia looked at. Not sure what's going to happen. What's weird is that it doesn't bulge out like most hernias. It just hurts a lot. I'm hoping I can avoid surgery.

On the bright side, I have a three-day weekend ahead of me!

 

I can't put into words how much I LOVE this.


Also/...I should be in bed. But what am I doing? Writing. Go figure.

 

Never did get back to sleep, sooooo tired now

 

Tonight seems like it's one of those where I just end up making myself sad...I guess I should go to bed :icon_sad:

 

School begins next week, which means the second semester will officially start, and some of the subjects of the first semester haven't even ended. The so-called finals 'week' scatters over a month. It sucks really.

 

so cold.

 

List of things I've done today:
-hit snooze on my alarm for an hour
-finally "woke up"
-pulled the laptop into bed.
-started talking to someone

 

Sometimes I feel that if I were thinner she'd love me more, then I wonder if what I actually mean is that if I were thinner I'd feel more secure as I wouldn't be a fat toad. Then I start thinking about how it doesn't really matter if I lose weight because whatever I do I'm still going to fall short of my personal ideals. Especially facially. So maybe the issue is that I'm so self obsessed I cannot believe that someone would actually find me attractive all because of my ridiculous obsession with my looks. Still, I should lose weight anyway. It's funny, on other people I couldn't care less, but on me ... when I wake up and realise just how fat I have gotten I feel physically sick. Shouldn't really give up on keeping myself in shape just because I feel that, structurally, ugly is ugly.

Silly brain.

 

*Warning: Rant*

You know, I've been feeling very happy the past week or so [except for one night, but I managed to get that under control], and I'm really sick and tired of people trying to bring me down from that. Like, I'm really, genuinely sorry that y'all are sad or depressed, but if you see that I'm happy, don't try to undermine it and don't try to bring me down. It takes a lot to get me to feel this way, and I don't appreciate spiteful attempts to make me feel the same way you do [lookin' at you, mother].

 

This is the first time I've ever seen this thread not toward the top of the board, much less on the second page.

Anyway, I'm moved back for the semester, and it's nice. It's the middle of January, and I'm wearing short sleeves and gym shorts outside I made the mistake of asking my dad to get a couple things at the store for me yesterday, including deodorant, without really specifying anything. I like the scent he picked, but it reminds me of middle school church camp like many similar scents do. I'm so strange.

 

I'm a mess of anxiety today. So, I'm thinking maybe a nap might be in order. Sometimes that helps to calm me down...almost like hitting the restart button...

Nap time. :sleep:

 

I need something sweet today...I should have asked my mom to get me a couple of apple pies from McDonald's yesterday.

 

Though I wasn't much more of a social butterfly than if it'd been a group meeting, helping out with the mural at the LGBT center was surprisingly relaxing.