What Are You Thinking?

Got < 72 hrs. to clean the apartment before my parents get here...better get cracking.

 

Bear down Chicago Bears!

 

Addicted to Les Mis... <3

 

So glad it's the first week of football and the Patriots won!

 

"I can't find a stable relationship. All gay men suck and only care about sex"

Said the guy with the profile picture where he is half naked and an album dedicated solely to showing off his body.

I swear, people confuse me -_-

 

Thinking about why I couldn't have just been born straight.
Thinking about the real reason I stayed home from school on Friday.
Thinking of listening to music.
Thinking of applying to Party City.
Thinking about how much homework I am going to have after my JROTC company meeting, AP English test, AND senate float building session tomorrow.

 

Ugh... I have to do geometry homework. Ugh. I'd rather sit here on the Internety and eat my cake in peace. I hate geometry.
My ex-girlfriend texted me last night. She broke my heart and I'm still not over her and now she wants to be friends? Of course, I agreed. Self-sabotage. :eusa_doh:

 

I have much less to say. I have much less to worry about. I am happy. There is no trouble here. There is one thing I would like to have, and I'm desperate to have it, but despite that, my heart is right. I am happy. I am gay, and it is what people see as my normal here. There is little to no stigma here. I can act as myself without fear of an outspoken oppressor.

 

...has gone back into the closet online to try to find some girls...

I hate lying, but found there's no other real choice.

I'm bi.

 

I realized I have about 4 hours worth of physics homework to do before Tuesday. I should start on it tonight because I won't have time tomorrow, but I really just don't feel like it. I've been "self-sniping" all day, so my mood is shot.

"Oh, an Indiana quarter -- wasn't she born in Indiana?"
"It must be horrible being LBGT in a Catholic family -- like she was."
"How do some people just know that they're LBGT -- she was one such person, but she couldn't explain it."

Then to top it all off, my dad asked about her by name out of the blue when he called today. Why does it still hurt so much to hear her name? We only knew each other for 6 months, and we never even dated!



The strange thing is that I've recently caught myself hoping to run into her. On the one hand, I would probably run back to my room and cry for hours if I saw her. On the other hand, I've gone by my old dorm, where she is still supposedly staying, several times for other reasons, and I still haven't seen her. It makes me worried that something happened to her. It doesn't matter that the probability of me seeing her is so low that this was to be expected; emotions aren't rational.

I think I still miss her. I don't think I even want to be friends with her again. I just want to see her, to talk to her, to know that she's okay. But she doesn't want to talk to me, and I will respect that.

 

A coworker told me I am very low-key, laid-back, and calm when she talks to me and that I need to take energy drinks. I'm not sure whether to feel insulted or complimented.

 

Briefly considered 'Alcofribas Nasier' as a possible username change, but figured that it would be weird since I'm not, intimately, familiar with the author whom it references . . .

[Also wondering if I used 'whom' correctly. Have been wanting to employ that word, and correctly, more often.]

 

Wishing I wouldn't crush on anymore guys because it always leads to me feeling terrible about myself and my insecurities.


Ooh and also I hate reading Thomas Hobbes Leviathan.....

 

Ughhhhhh! Whatever this is needs to go the hell away! :icon_sad:



Might make my way to the clinic tomorrow...

 

Ew. EWWW. Grossss. :eusa_sick

The title of that thread...I...I can't take this. I'm so nauseous now.

Gawd why????? :tears:


Please...rp and Griz...distract me!!

 

Folding that origami rabbit was both physically and mentally taxing.
But I did it.

 

*is thinking about a screaming french man who he punches and gets into a catfight with him*

 

I'm thinking of how quickly this weekend went D:

It isnt any of my business, so I wont ask. However, you do have a choice. Its never a good idea to go back to hiding yourself. I hope you change your mind, or at least talk to someone or us about it.

That sounds like an interesting thread o.o

 

*is now thinking about shouting in french back at the french man and talking gibberish*