Transkid. mother seeks help.

First I want to say, that you are a wonderful mother for trying to find answers for your child and reaching out to figure out the best thing to do. Not a lot of parents will do that, even if they accept their children. It really makes me happy to see people like you reaching out for their children.

I don't have any suggestions on binders (unfortunately I'm still trying to get myself one), though I'd definitely avoid making a DIY binder. And especially, especially: don't use Ace bandages or duct tape, since it can be physically injuring.

As a trans* teen myself, I think I should mention that while it is always hard for parents to accept their children, your child never changed. They're still the same ol' person they always were! Think of it more that they just simply know something new about themselves--and you do as well. Even if you thought of them as your daughter for so long, and they come out saying they're not, it's okay. They're still your child at heart, and they always will be.

I know this is hard for you, but hopefully you'll find some comfort knowing that you never lost your child. They're still the same person they always were, and now they just know something new about themselves.

Good luck to you and your family, really. I'll get back to you if I've got any advice.

 

for binders, you could try looking at this site. but you will have to speak with her about which kimd she wants. personally, i have the tri-top binder from that site, and it works quite well.

many parents have a mourning period when their kids come out as transgender. i think the best way to get used to new pronouns is to just force yourself to use them, no matter how wrong it feels. it'll be tough, but things will get easier as time goes on

 

Another trans teen here. I'm going through the same thing your child is going through, including the reaction of my mother, which was similar to yours.

Like Maxis said, it's natural for someone to feel this 'loss' - but you didn't lose anyone. Your child has always been your child, it just so happens that she's actually a he.

Don't feel pressured. This is difficult for you too, I understand that. And your child should understand that too.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't make an effort, however. Avoid using terms like daughter, girl, lady, woman, miss, or whatever feminine titles you used to use. If you slip up, apologize. Don't freak out. Just say sorry, and that you will try not to do it again.

It may also help if you begin to use 'he' instead of 'she' on this site. Will it feel weird and strange? Yes. But here, you can edit the 'she/her' pronouns out and get used to referring to your child as a he. This may help you with using right pronouns in real life.

It means a lot to us. Our parents trying, I mean. If my mother went through this much just to learn about me, I think I would cry.

You love your child. I can tell. And I just want to say thank you for your support.

 

i think it is best to ask your child about what products they want to use, maybe take him to the store with you when you go to buy deodorant and what not? i think you should ask your child about what you can tell your haircutting friend. really, i'd say just communicate with them as much as you can

 

You're a really great mom for seeking out advice. ^^ I applaud you for that.

 

You've been a great mom to him so far. Thanks for making the effort to understand.