Transkid. mother seeks help.

First I will say that i wont get a single term correct so forgive me ahead of time. I am here because my 17 year old daughter has just expressed that she is a transkid. I am here to find out how to help her. She is 17 and going through a very rough time in life battling depressions, thoughts of killing herself, and a rough life to say the least. As I have told her over and over, I dont care what she is or does it is her life and her being happy is the utmost important thing in my mind right now. Whatever it is that she choses to do is her choice. I will support her in anything she does. We are just starting this journey so I have some learning to do and I need help in helping her cope with this all. I have her in the hospital now to work on her depression and self esteem but we have to have answers when she comes home on what will make this easier for her. So that is step one but she is very concerned I wont support her in this. A little back ground her dad pretty much shunned her for feeling as if she carries a disease because we run a small animal rescue in our home. So she has already been shunned by one parent and I think she is feeling like I would do that as well.

I will take anything at this point. Advice, other pages, support groups. i just need help with this.

 

She isnt shunned due to this she is shunned for having a disease which she doesnt have. I am not married to him, he is nothing as far as I am concerned. He is the least of my worries. He will be gone for the future until can get my daughter stable. I am not here to fix him by anymeans. I am here to stop the battles my child is having in her head and mind.

 

I will look up the pflag for sure. She told me in a letter about 2 weeks ago. Even though I told her that It doesnt matter to me what she is or anything else that i just want her happy she dont seem to understand. We have had a lot of problems over her life with her. I have always said she is uncomfortable in her own skin and this makes total sense. That would be why she does.

As far as using the right terms I told her when she got mad at me for calling her missy that she cant expect what I have done for 17 years to change over night. I am mom and she was born my daughter so that will be a hard adjustment.

I am not one to criticize other peoples life choices. Of course unless they are bad choices but she doestn make bad choices. She is going from female to male. Right now we are focusing on her mental health trying to get her stable her self esteem is so low it isnt even funny. I plan on looking for the specific therapist soon but first I want to get her back to a healthy spot.
They are aware of this all at the hospital so the counselor we spoke to has been great at working with her and she is the one that is in charge of getting her someone to speak to so I am sure they will have some experience with this.


The father doesnt accept her as a her. We have pet rats I do a rat rescue he told her that she needs to be tested for mrsa, which rats do not carry or I need to get rid of the rats before she is allowed over there. She refuses to be tested for mrsa because she said she shouldnt have to be tested to be in his life. So at this point. I am just keeping him away. He wont help the situation and it will be over my dead body before he makes it any worse. He hasnt seen her since August outside of a brief time at christmas. My husband her step dad will accept her for anything so he will be our rock here.

As far as I know she has only turned to twitter and tumbler for finding other kids like her but that is bad news in my eyes. I would prefer her to come here so I will encourage her to do so. I need a healthy environment for her.

The hard part is typing he..... It makes matters worse I had two daughters LOL so he son and all of that is just not part of my vocabulary (!)

She gets upset because there is nothing focusing on her life. Nothing to relate to. The only thing I could think of was Chaz bono! I watched the documentary on his change a few years ago but she seems like she wants more. She seem to want something to relate to. We have netflix i know there is a section but other than that i dont know how to find stuff for her to watch. I think something to relate to is what she needs.

So here is where my confusion lies. I have known a lot of lesbians and gay men. My best friend was gay but his drinking curb me from still being in his life. I know the lesbians that I know almost all seem to dress maleish so does that mean this same thing she is going through? or is there still a difference? I just need to understand as much as i can so i want to start with the difference.

 

That is exactly why I am here to learn the difference. I never had to give it a thought before so now I have to learn about it all. I never even heard of pansexual. Can you explain that to me?

I am going to suggest it. I thought that exact same thing. I cannot imagine going through this battle but now i have to learn as much as I can.

 

I cannot say how excited I am right now. I reached out to 3 of my closest rat friends (we all rescue) and I found a mother who has been in my shoes already. Another rat rescue person, she is very active in the gay community and she proofs books on it! I spent half the morning crying for relief on finding someone to speak to but for knowing that we have a person who has been there!

 

I have emailed a few places one being a youth group for our state. I also sent an email to a local pflag. I found another one in city close here that seems to be a community type thing so I am feeling hopeful that one of these places can help us through this. I am just waiting on some replies. I would like to find her a group that meets so she can go hang out with them. I just have to see she is willing. Her depression is very bad and I do believe that it is from this coupled with the stuff with her dad and being a teen. It is harder being a teen now so I am sure all of this makes it impossible for her to deal with.

I plan on speaking with my new friend who has been here more so I can figure out how to help when she comes home.

She wants a binder. So how do I find one to order? I wish I could find someone locally that could speak to her. like a mentor type. Obviously this isnt something I have been through so i cannot help with how this effects her.

I read and article that this new friend wrote yesterday and she said it perfectly she has to mourn the loss of her daughter and move onto having a son. I wont lie changing my mindset is hard. I say i am fine with what she is regardless but I find it hard to say him. How do I manage this? I know how much this is needed right now for her to know that I have uncondiiontal love but I do find sitting here type he is very hard. Has any of your parents just found it hard? Like it is a mourning process. Parts of me are sad but there is a huge part of me that is so relieved that we may finally have answers as to why she is uncomfortable in her skin.

I cannot thank you all enough for being here for support and to help me learn through this all. It is hard to not have anyone to understand what you are going through.