Small Victories

I went out last night to my old Uni's student union (I recently graduated but still live locally & have lots of student friends), and for the first time ever in a properly public place, I wore obviously female clothing. Not much, just a t-shirt, skinny jeans and a floral jacket thing. And some eyeliner. I was nervous but it turned out to be fine - I even got two unprompted compliments on my look. Which was really nice, and has given me confidence to try more in public.

On the down side, I can still feel the alcohol... early night tonight I think

 

Hahaha, I walk around in Almost androgynous clothes at my university now. Full girly outfit. It's a nice feeling to walk around and not be clocked and just smiled at.

 

I have an official appointment set with a gender therapist in 3 weeks!!!

 

Omg that is amazing!! Congrats dude hope everything goes well! (*hug*)

 

This probably doesn't sound like a victory but after giving up on my peecock, I went back to the pstyle I was using before. And it works. So...I have a real stp I can actually use in public. Was looking at the EZP by Transthetics- just don't want to buy it until I know if it's good for sure. Heard the customer service is fantastic though.

 

After a four month waiting time, I finally got my first appointment with the gender clinic towards the middle of February. Build the hype.

 

I kind of smile when I see "[Spider-Gwen] has updated her status" or "[Spider-Gwen] has updated her profile pic" on Facebook. Next to my very male-looking face and obviously male-denoting real name.

I also love how none of my Facebook friends have said anything weird about it.

Like, for the most part, I really don't want them switching pronouns on me, so much, and I'm going to continue to pass as male for as long as it keeps me safe, but, like... there's at least some acceptance of my non-binary identity. Even if it's just a program that's designed not to question me when I change my gender status or pronouns, because, like... I can't just change my gender status in most places. I'll always be seen as "male" either because I was DMAB or because, when I signed up for whatever and answered the gender question, I chose "male" and they're not going to let me change it.

I don't want to change my name. I'm not planning any transition from "male" to "female". I just want to be more genuinely me. But damn do I love that I can at least see something call me "she" and not judge me for it. Or expect me to become someone I'm not. Or criticize me for doing it.

One friend actually said he noticed it. Didn't ask about it until I brought up that I changed it and was, like, really supportive of it.

So... yay me, I guess. It's something.

 

I guess I have found a gender neutral name for myself. So that's a good thing.
The next step I to get used to it and actually tell people.

 

I did what I see as pretty much the last step in officially coming out to people who know me - a Facebook post to tell the ones I couldn't see in person.

Everyone took it so extremely well. It's one of my most liked statuses. Family friends commented on how brave they thought I was, high school friends say they have so much respect for me, Dad said he was proud of his son. Oh, and everyone called me Connor.

It's been a little overwhelming, the last day. But it's still very cool.

 

When you change pronouns on Facebook - for me it would be she to he - is it only noticeable when you change your profile picture or cover photo? Or obviously if someone went out of their way to look at your gender. I really want to change them but I'd rather if it wasn't in your face "!!Hope uses he/him!!".

---------- Post added 25th Jan 2016 at 11:21 PM ----------

I love this thread and reading through everyone's small victories makes me so happy! I wish I had something of my own to share but since I'm coming out to my friend tomorrow I might. I'm hoping he'll be okay with it :/

 

From what I understand, it'll only change things like "[SpiderGwen] has a birthday today. Leave her a message to celebrate!" or when you post new photos or whatever, it'll use the different pronouns. There's no announcement post or anything like that, but there may be an option where it asks if you want your profile updates to be posted to your wall. Beyond that, folks actually have to look up your profile to see your gender, and these days, Facebook will actually give you an option to customize your gender. They don't, however, have options for gender neutral pronouns, so there's no singular "they" or whatever. It's not perfect, but it's something.

 

Perfect. Thank you very much! Also, Facebook does let you use they, one of my friends uses it.

 

I got my hair cut short! From the middle of my back to a boys cut :

 

i found out yesterday that i should get an appointment with a sexologist who does a lot of work on gender issues with in a month. next step?

 

Two of my friends are now calling me Seth! Admittedly only one knows I'm demiflux - the other thinks Seth is an inside joke - but I don't care.

 

Not a big deal but...

I bought my first two Patagonia camisoles and a pair of boy-shorts today. I am so excited, I can't wait to get them. They are sooo cute! I know my size so I hope they fit perfectly. I know this is not a big deal but this is the only safe space I felt like I could share it.

My beautiful wife is gonna freak and I hope she understands but I D G A F anymore. I have to be me be now.

 

I'm less than ten days away from being one year on T. I also got a response back from Mazzoni's legal team a few weeks ago about the name change process, and it looks like they can help, but only a bit because we're in different counties. Maybe I'll have my name changed by the end of the year, who knows.

 

Wow, congrats on T! And name changes are huge.