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Small Victories

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Kasey, Dec 11, 2014.

  1. DarkWolf

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    Finally going to meet with a therapist interested in issues involving gender identity. Super nervous and I got to put down what I am going to say but glad I made the first step.
     
  2. jay777

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    (&&&)

    Congratulations !


    Keep at it.
     
  3. dray7

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    I carpool to school with a non-binary person, and today I asked them to call me by my preferred name from now on and they started doing it right away! Nobody's ever called me by my preferred name in real life before and I've been so happy all night!
     
    #203 dray7, Jan 20, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 20, 2015
  4. Daydreamer1

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    Got my blood work a day or two ago, and everything came back up normal--so did Nik's. :grin:
     
  5. PossumJack

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    Got "official" permission from the administration to have teachers call me by my preferred name and pronouns! I'm currently composing a letter to my teachers about it. :lol:

    I'm going to continue pushing for access to restrooms and locker rooms which conform to my gender identity in the mean time, and hopefully that'll end successfully(!)
     
  6. Tardis221B

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    I got a men's wallet and I love it so much! And I was able to avoid any suspicion on my mom's part because I needed one to fit into my travel pouch. I can't wait to start using it, and not have to use a purse anymore. :grin:
     
  7. PossumJack

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    I've been feeling pretty down and dysphoric lately, so I decided to take a 2 hour bike ride to the supermarket and buy my first pairs of briefs behind my mom's back. My brother agreed to pretend they're his when they turn up in the laundry, and I can't express how happy I feel now that I don't have to awkwardly walk around in women's underwear.:icon_wink
     
  8. SkyColours38

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    I did that too! I'd asked for one for Christmas, but my transphobic mother refused, so I just bought one myself. Since I'm a full-time student, she pays my bills anyway... :badgrin:

    This week has been pretty good in terms of gender-affirmation:
    – I got back to uni where I don't have to listen to my mum degrading my identity 24/7
    – The other day I was buying some trousers, and nobody tried to stop me from using the men's changing room (which has happened before; I recommend that other trans folks here do NOT try to buy clothes at M&S, because they won't let you in the right changing room). I definitely wasn't passing, but it's still nice when people don't question my clothing choices
    – I went to my uni's weekly Trans Welfare meeting for the first time (essentially we chat and eat free snacks) and it was really nice
    – My college made its toilets gender neutral
     
  9. Manta

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    Got called "he" at dinner tonight by one of my new friends! I'd heard other people talk about how great it feels, but this is the first time that's happened to me, and wow!
     
  10. Mischief

    Mischief Guest

    Did you have to get permission from your parents? I want to do the same thing but... My school seems kinda dodgy and my parents aren't wanting me to do anything drastic - even though I'm presenting as male. My name is already gender neutral, but I dislike it for males and just prefer the one I've chosen.

    I've got the same problem too for restrooms and change rooms - and in sport, they split the genders (which is ridiculously stupid). Not to mention they've made it compulsory for year 10's starting this year. GREAT TIMING, GUYS.


    But, this is a small victories thread so I will add:
    My clothes are becoming more and more male, and I'm starting to think I pass well enough to use the men's restrooms in public. Progress.
     
  11. PossumJack

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    You usually don't need permission from parents about changing names since a lot of people have nicknames they prefer over their real names and such. If your parents find out about it though, they do have the authority to make your teachers use your birth name. My mom almost stopped me but I had a *very* long talk with her and somehow managed to change her mind. I don't know how your parents might feel, but if you do end up having to talk to them about it, I'd suggest stressing on how it makes you feel comfortable in the classroom and helps you concentrate on learning, stuff like that.

    And ugh I agree that change rooms are the worst. I always end up hiding in the bathroom stalls to change and even then I don't think any of the girls are comfortable either to see a guy sneaking around their locker room in basketball shorts
     
  12. Mischief

    Mischief Guest

    I see. My parents most likely wouldn't kick up a big stink at me because of it, but they're trying their hardest to get me to think of other possibilities. Though, my parents will probably argue that I already have a gender neutral name.
    Awesome job on convincing your mum to change her mind, I'd never be able to do that. I come from a house of INCREDIBLY stubborn people. Time will tell, I guess.
     
  13. jay777

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    Have a look here:
    How to Practice Nonviolent Communication: 4 Steps (with Pictures)
    Its like stating needs and emotions. Its ok to state both. And your needs probably won't change so fast. So you could talk about it, and say they're there.
    It avoids heated discussions and emotions taking over, instead of talking it out.

    Sometimes people like parents have additional fears, which also could be adressed, and talked out.
    You might give it a try.
    It might take a bit of practise in the beginning.

    It helped me a lot. It prevents burning bridges, and slipping in old patterns where arguments are exchanged.

    (*hug*)
     
    #213 jay777, Jan 24, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2015
  14. Mischief

    Mischief Guest

    Thanks Jay777, I'll be using this in a few days when I can gain the strength to talk to them about it. (*hug*)
     
  15. WillowRose

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    It felt like a big deal as I worked myself up to it, and then it turned out not to be a big deal at all ... There was a show a a local bar that I really wanted to go to, because one of the people performing played a role in my deciding to start transition, and I wanted to catch up with her. It's the first time I've gone out in public in my new (lady-type) clothes. I had hoped that one or two of my supportive friends would be able to go with me, but they all had plans, so out I went, all by myself, to a bar I'd never been to, in leggings and a nice tunic thingummy. So way far out of my comfort zone!

    Total anticlimax... Nobody gave me a second glance, I got to chat with my friend before the show ... Totally uneventful! Except that it felt huge to me to fly so far outside of my comfort zone and survive!
     
  16. GhostOfRazgriz

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    Congrats! :grin: Something super similar happened to me today. I was at the drug store buying makeup (I ran out of mascara), and although the people behind the counter never give me trouble, today was special. The after the person behind the cash register gave me my change, they said, "you're all set, ma'am." I was so happy I had to control myself before I could thank them a thousand times haha. This is the first time someone has gendered me as a woman in public and it felt fantastic. It got me out of a horrible funk and into a awesome mood.
     
  17. Tai

    Tai
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    I passed for the first time since knowing I was transgender today. (I say "first since knowing" because someone thought I was a boy about three years ago before I started questioning.) It felt amazing. A guy at the store said, "Excuse me, young man." I was so shocked I just stepped out of the way, not saying anything (probably with my jaw hanging open).
     
  18. Acm

    Acm Guest

    Passing is great :icon_bigg
    It always takes me by surprise though, since it barely ever happens.

    I did pass recently when I was attempting to give blood, one of the nurses was calling me "he," it was really nice, but the other nurse subtly corrected her unfortunately.
     
  19. Tohru-Chan

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    Since I got my hair cut a couple weeks ago, I've been called "sir" 4 or 5 times at work. But every time, I speak, and they do that whole "ohhh sorry!!" thing x.x

    But it's a start!
     
  20. NekoAlex

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    I used the man's bathroom for the first time and it felt great. There was nobody there, so I gave it a try.