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Sexuality and being trans*

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by anonym, Apr 3, 2015.

  1. Michael

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    I've always had a very strong sex drive, and felt attracted to both women and men. Sex was never a problem until the other part involved went beyond my comfort zone : There is parts of my body I don't want to get touched, period. They respected that, but I ended up breaking relationships 'cause I knew they would feel unhappy on the long run (and I also would feel not being good enough, and living off their charity for the rest of my days).

    After realizing what was really going on, I had to make a deep review of where I was, and where I wanted to go. I doubt I'm made to have a LTR with a man, there is a lot of envy and competitive feelings by my side that prevent me from playing fair game with them. It is doomed to disaster, so why should I even try... And besides I know for a fact that being with a man is not what I want. Sex might be ok, I guess I can make exceptions, but I won't stay for breakfast, that would be too much for me...

    Women are a very different story. Yes, they are the opposite sex, with complications and quirks, but I like them for being different, I just find them attractive. I have changed the way how I see them, don't ask me how it happened, it just happened.
     
  2. Daydreamer1

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    I'm a weird case. I'm queer as a three dollar bill, but I have my days where bodies either turn me off or give me no reaction at all. While I can get into things with the right amount of foreplay, my switch is off for the most part--something that throws me off sometimes as someone who is on T (and so used to hearing guys say they're horny all the time). I don't know, I think being intimate makes me feel a certain kind of way because I can't get off the way a cis male would (nor do I have the same kind of sensation---since I feel nothing at all) and it's honestly pretty depressing.

    My attraction is weird, yet fluid. My attraction years ago used to slightly swing for women, then men ever so slightly, now men about 100% of the time. It's off putting because I have no idea how much of my attraction to men is genuine and how much of it is jealousy and envy brought on my my own dysphoria. It makes me question if I'm honestly still asexual to an extent, even though I'm sexually active. Is that weird? I always suspected that I was even a slight shade of gray as a teenager, but how much of that was legit (or me being prudish) or my dysphoria is something I still don't know.
     
  3. HardToSay

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    It is totally normal: intimacy is something very personal, private, and, of course, intimate: you cannot enjoy it until you enjoy your own body. I felt the same way for a very long time. if you do not feel comfortable with yourself, how are you going to feel comfortable enough to be intimate with someone else? How can you enjoy someone else's body if you cannot enjoy your own first?

    A psychiatrist once said that every form of intimate contact with another human being is a form of contanct with oneself... Don't you think there is some truth in it?
     
  4. Daydreamer1

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    Sometimes it's great, sometimes it's hard to really enjoy things when I feel a disconnect from my body. I'm hoping it goes away with time, but who knows for sure.
     
  5. Bastian

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    Wow, it´s actually a relief seeing that lots of you transpeople went through the same "asexuality" phase as me. I thought I was weird or super shy or just dysfunctional down there, feeling almost nothing and being bored - or even repulsed - by the mere idea of having sex. Now since Im more comfortable with my identity, I am 100% sure I am not asexual. Au contraire, I am very much attracted to men. It was all just about some sort of mind block. My sexual behavior remains the same as before (means level zero), as I realize that me in this form, with this female body, I have nothing to offer to a man who is interested in men. It is a situation I can´t solve.
     
  6. anonym

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    I guess I'm kind of prudish as well. Even if I was sitting here with a cis male body but the same brain, then I think I'd still feel a bit prudish. I don't know if it's the way I was brought up, or if I'm on the autistic spectrum or if it's just part of my personality but I'm not comfortable with sexual feelings.