Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Canterpiece, Dec 3, 2022.
Yeah, it has plenty of cons, but I'd like to hear some positives! Please. I need this right now.
I love being able to critically think, look at the evidence, and make my own opinions. As a kid you just go with whatever an adults opinion is.
There are so many things that you can't legally do under 18. I realize it can vary by a couple years -making legal decisions (buying a house, renting an apartment, bank stuffs), buying lottery tickets, alcohol, renting a car, getting married, getting a tattoo....Most places you can't do these things, especially without signed permission, when you are under 18.
Independence and not getting told what to do (at least as much lol). It depends on your family and probably happens a little bit after 18, but I find a lot of people shift away from telling you what to do, and more toward gentle suggestions & letting you figure things out on your own.
I miss the lack of self awareness of being a kid. But I'd easily take the extra adult stresses for the adult independence
I don’t need my parents assistance to buy alcohol as a gift. I’m still getting asked for ID at 30. I paid for the Garda Age Card because it’s accepted in any shop and some shops require you to have it to purchase alcohol.I didn’t expect to need ID for a lotto ticket. I like that I can travel alone, I can sign medical consent forms decide what to eat and drink and when. I like the ability to do anything I want because I’m a grown up. I can see any movie I want in a movie theatre alone. I don’t smoke or drink but if I want to I can. I don’t need permission to go somewhere or stay out late. I don’t have to go somewhere I don’t want to go like visit family I don’t like.
It's not childhood
I think for me it was finally realizing that I was bisexual and that I have a little feminine side at times and how good it felt to accept those feelings
So many positives that are hard to list too! I may have to think for a little while! lol
Something I love about being an adult is that I can just go out without needing permission. I can come home at 3am if I really want and the only consequence is that I'm tired the next day. I can cook whatever I want and I can move things in my apartment if I decide I don't like where they are.
I'm guessing from your tone in the original post that you're like me, where you get a bit freaked out by all the negative stuff people are always saying about adulthood. I understand, and I wish people would be more positive sometimes, because there's plenty of things to love!
For me it's making your own decisions about your life.
Thinking of this from a kid’s perspective for a minute…I like the freedom to go where I want, when I want. I like meeting new people and having grownup conversations, haha. I can stay up until dawn if I feel like it, watch scary movies, drink booze. Kissing is beautiful and not gross anymore.
Yeah, bills and responsibilities suck, but being a grownup is actually pretty lit when you think about it. Being a kid is like being a tiny prisoner.
The development of your protective 'psychic armour'
The absence of an all-pervading fear because you have no autonomy
The right to vote
Being able to earn money for oneself
The right to spend the day doing whatever the f*** you want (within reason, of course)
Respect from other adults
The ability to think long term because you have already lived long term
The ability to travel wherever you want (within the means of your budget, bien sur)
I mean, I could go on...
Canterpiece, I'm curious why you think adulthood is not a positive experience compared to childhood?
Cake for breakfast, or breakfast for dinner.
Being able to drive
Arguing about bathroom paint color choice... it was not a serious argument, twas a silly argument.
For me, it's largely freedom. Childhood was filled with pain, uncertainty, and depressive lows. And while I still struggle with depression and anxiety, being an adult has allowed me to deal with those feelings in my own way, in my own time, without being berated/belittled. I like having my own home, my own space, my own family, and being able to decide how/when the house chores are done. I like being my own boss. I like being able to pursue things that bring me happiness or comfort. I especially like having some of the healthiest relationships I've ever had in my life, and learning to set boundaries that earn the respect of those who matter, and weed out those who don't.
I also really like that in adulthood, I've managed to be the truest, most honest version of myself.
Don't get me wrong, I don't hold childhood in warm regard either. Certainly not my own. It wasn't all bad, there was plenty good. However, let's just say I've been praised for how well adjusted I am "considering everything".
I am mourning the loss of free time. The fact that I am limited to how much time I am allowed off work can be well... saddening. Especially since there's a lingering guilt that I could be using my free time more wisely which in turn ruins it.
My adult life doesn't feel very free right now. It's not like when you're a kid and you get to have months off. Plus, that's all people ask about. Your work. I don't want my life to become defined by it. Yet it takes up so much of my time and I resent that but I know it is necessary. I especially resent it since I hate my workplace and I am in the process of escaping.
Then there's the questions! The ones that stick in the back of your head. 'Hey, you know those life events you looked forward to as a kid? The ones you assumed would just happen? Yeah, they might not. Turns out, you have to make those happen even though you don't know how! Let's uncomfortably think about how they might not happen. Fun!' the doubt seems to mock. Makes me miss an idealised version of childhood. One where I was still blissfully unaware that things wouldn't just fall into place at this age.
See, I never thought anything would just fall into place. My childhood was defined by one emotion: fear.
I was scared that there would be a nuclear war.
I was scared that my parents might die, like...soon.
I was scared that I would never be able to get a job.
I was scared that no-one would ever love me.
I was scared I would never have sex.
I was scared computers would take over the world (hey...turns out they have!)
I was scared of the future.
That fear came largely from that lack of autonomy. When you're dependent on your parents for everything you're at the mercy of events, you don't have any confidence in your own ability to shape your own life.
That sounds like a good idea. And with a record number of vacancies in the UK there has never been a better time to do it. (Oh Gawd I can feel a very 80s* cliche coming on...) Go for it!
* As you can probably tell from the above list I am a child of the 80s.
You get WAY calmer. I have.
My childhood was defined by fear as well, but the way I got through it was to tell myself that it would be alright because adulthood would be way better and make everything 'worth it'. So when times are difficult now, it really hits.
I still feel... wrong. Like there's something about my life that just doesn't fit. As if this isn't my actual reality. I can't figure out what it is though.