Same Old “Do I leave him dance”

I ask myself this a lot too. In some ways, being single would give me freedom I don't have now- certainly increased freedom of expression, but also living in a different area and having more of a choice in who I interact with. I'd have more time to myself and could possibly build a better support network by being out and living life my own way. My work is motivating for me, but I also know that being single can be very hard and lonely, and I'm not sure how well I would deal with it after living with someone for so long.

 

This is not easy, but if your counselor is a professional you will be glad you opened up to her. I have come out to two therapists and each time was met with support and understanding. It was a huge relief.

 

I am in the exact same boat. I am married and we are best friends. Have sex here and there, but man, i need to be touched by a woman and to touch a woman. I have no clue how to approach this, but my needs are becoming too much. Good luck

 

Yep. Feeds my soul is put perfectly. It really is depressing. A woman's touch is like no other

 

I think this is very true - self care is so important and sometimes it can take time to understand yourself and listen to your gut instincts. Even when others love and care about you in a sense I think only you know how to make you happy.

 

I'm so jealous that you know what that feels like.

 

In relation to the original question OP, I totally relate. I’ve been with my husband for 11 years now, he has always known I am Bi and I had relationship with a woman when I was at University. Recently I had a crush on a lesbian colleague (nothing ever happened other than some flirting and an emotional connection), that has made me think a lot about my sexuality again and wonder if I’d be happier with a woman. I also struggle between the thought of leaving him and some middle ground where I stay with him and can explore my sexuality more. It’s very hard sometimes and threre are no easy decisions or easy answers. I guess it’s figuring out what’s the best thing for you.

 

Is that middle ground an option for you? Something he would be open to?

 

Maybe depending on the exact circumstances. I think finding it might not be so easy.

 

I can understand that. While I get the rationale of the idea, it's always struck me as something that may make sense on paper but is likely to just be a big mess in real life.

 

Yeah, something that may not work in reality although I know others on here who have made it work. I think good communication is key and making sure that your primary relationship is always the most important. Not easy.

I have realised how important close female friendships are to me and an emotional connection. I guess the question is if that is enough. And also if I am still happy enough in my relationship with my husband.

 

I agree, friendships are really important. But the closeness I feel to other women makes me wonder why I can't have that emotional intimacy in my own marriage. I tried to talk to him about it last night and he just doesn't get it.