Realizing you're gay stories

First I thought I was straight,
Then I thought I was bi,
Now I know that I am gay.

 

Those feelings I was supposed to have for girls, were stronger for boys for the longest time. I didn't realize it, really. A shirtless guy would give me butterflies. It wasn't until I was 19 that I really put it together though.

 

Throughout elementary and middle school I ONLY had crushes on girls. The idea of liking a guy never even crossed my mind until highschool. I continued having crushes on a few girls, but I realized that there was never sexual desire behind it.

I realized I was gay during a chemistry class. A guy was sitting two seats in front of me in the row to the right of mine. I was really just admiring him at first, but before I knew it I was fantasizing about sitting on his lap and making out with him.

That NEVER happened with a girl before. Eventually I began to having sexual urges for more and more guys frequently, and soon lost all interest in girls completely.

 

I was twelve. I had my first crush. It was on a boy at my school. It was pretty intense. Then another crush and another – always guys. Soon, I figured…

… and it made a whole lot of sense even if only to explain why for so many years I’d felt kind of different from my peers. But there was a huge lag between my knowing and my accepting and then finally assimilating my sexuality into my identity as a man.

 

Thinking back on it, there were lots of factors that led to me figurring out that I liked girls, but the defining factor was when I was in seventh grade, my friend had a party where we went to the water park, and there were lots of girls in bikinis, and it was very sudden. I just thought to myself "I'm gay" and I couldn't stop thinking about it that whole day. I had never thought I was gay before that. So yeah.

 

When I used to look at griups of people and have general attraction to some of them I would just assume it was the female side. Then I went online and heard about people being attracted to the men side and not realizing it.

At that point i started to notice the attraction was toward the men but I wouldn't accept this part of me till 2 months ago.

 

At 13, I began to notice that I was aroused by other boys a lot and not at all by girls. I looked up the definition of homosexual online, found "The condition of being attracted to members of the same sex exclusively," and then thought "Well fuck. I'm a homosexual."

 

I was in my sophomore year of high school and in a study period saw this girl across the room with shortish hair reading a book alone and I just kept looking at her and glancing away when our eyes met. I thought about how attracted I was to her after class for the longest time. I walked behind her after that and she had like a rainbow pin on her backpack and ever since then it's been definite. The weird thing is I legit never saw her again, she was like a magical lesbian fairy. I mean there were instances before that obviously; that just confirmed everything.

 

I started to get feelings for my best friend in high school but at the time I was still into girls. However, as time went by I started to notice that when I was in bed with girls, or thinking about them, I couldn't really focus on them. It had nothing to do with it being the right or wrong girl or anything, I was just always more alive when it came to guys. I know a beautiful girl when I see one, and they can still excite me but I'm gay.