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Random Trans Musing

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Althidon, Aug 8, 2016.

  1. Althidon

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    (There's a vent thread and a victory thread but I didn't see a neutral thread. I hope it's not a duplicate)

    I can't share my random thoughts about being trans with anyone in real life except my wife, and she gets tired of it. So I figured I can talk about it here!

    Today:

    I seem to be seeing more body hair every time I look at myself. I can't tell if I'm going to end up really hairy once I finish second puberty, or if I've always been this hairy and just never noticed! :rolleyes:
     
  2. Daydreamer1

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    Yay for second puberty! XD
     
  3. Rickystarr

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    I like the idea of this thread because I often have things I want to share that don't necessarily belong in the vent or small victories thread but don't desrerve their own thread either. I hope we won't have too high standards for this thread.

    I just want to say that I remember a couple years ago (before I was out even to myself) telling my fiancee I didn't want our children to call me mom and her getting upset about this. I wanted to say I wish they would call me dad but I was afraid to say that.
     
  4. Kodo

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    I get that too. I shudder to think of being a mother or carrying children (honestly one of my greatest fears). But when it comes to being a dad, that actually sounds good. Though it makes me kind of sad because I don't know that I ever will be a father.
     
  5. Kal

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    I'm taking a new supplement with my bodybuilding diet and regimen. It's a Testo booster and I'm starting experience some changes from it. I have on and off cycled boosters but this is a new one I'm trying and it's kicked in pretty quickly. I wondered if anyone else has had experience with Testo boosters while being preT and if they've noticed any changes?
     
  6. Rickystarr

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    It disgusts me to my very core and always has. Not that I don't think it can be a beautiful thing but even thinking myself as capable really makes me nauseous more than anything else. That is partly why I can't connect as a woman. Not only do I not WANT to have children (and I know you don't have to want children to be a woman) but it literally makes me sick to my stomach to think I COULD. It just feels so fucking wrong. Always has. *vomits* lol

    ---------- Post added 10th Aug 2016 at 02:17 AM ----------

    And the thing is, no one has ever really expected me to actually HAVE children, but just the word MOTHER suggests fertility to me and makes me extremely dysphoric. I know I want kids, I just don't want them to call me that. I would probably rather die. Or at least not have them.
     
  7. RyeTheDauphin

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    I find the science and psychology of transgenderism really fascinating, and I have for a while. I just thought I'd list some random questions I've been pondering and googling about recently so maybe there can be some discussion or something:

    - If male and female brains aren't really any different from each other, as numerous studies have suggested, then how come gender identity is ingrained to the point where it can surpass our assigned sex?
    - What causes people to be transgender? Is it nature, nurture or a combination? If nurture does play a role then can some of it be unlearned?
    - Will we find scientific evidence one day for the existence of third genders or people who identify with both or neither gender? Why do different cultures develop different ideas of gender?
    - Will we ever find a solution to the bathroom issue that most people can agree and compromise on?
    - To what extent are gender roles based on observable differences between genders?
     
  8. schaussey

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    They've pretty much ruled out nurture as a factor, according to the David Reimer case. He was a cis boy, but they botched his circumcision, so they decided to amputate his penis, subject him to living as a girl, incredibly abusive conversion therapy and hormone treatments. He came out as "trans" in his teenage years and rejected all of his previous therapy. He unfortunately committed suicide in his adult life, but it wasn't surprising, considering how awful his childhood was. Heavy TW for abuse, mutilation, suicide and other awful things if any threadgoers decide to google things.
     
  9. Matto_Corvo

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    Actually studies have shown that there are small differences in female and male brains. Studies have also shown that trans people brains match closely with the gender they identify with, and other studies have shown that there are trans people who's gendered part of the brain doesn't really match wither male or female.

    I always found this video interesting.

    I'm one of those people who likes to think of being trans as being intersex. Just another way of being human.
     
  10. Kodo

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    When you buy clothes... Thinking quietly to yourself, "will I still be able to wear this when I transition?" as justifiable reason for the purchase. In which case fandom t-shirts are a definite yes.
     
  11. Althidon

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    It's funny, looking back. I said the exact same thing to a friend once about being pregnant being my greatest fear, in a conversation about how hard it was going to be to adopt children. She told me I should just have my own before I transitioned and I was just like "no no no no I can't do that."

    Turns out I was pregnant at the time. :eek:

    I think it all worked out for the best. I didn't find out I was pregnant until 7 months in (yeah, seriously), so I only had to endure the dysphoria of it for a short while. And I had an excellent support system in the form of a trans spouse and trans friends who understood my very mixed feelings about the situation. I was actually in a documentary, too, which helped because I spent a lot of time having conversations that re-affirmed my identity as a pregnant man.
     
    #11 Althidon, Aug 11, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 11, 2016
  12. Kal

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    I think I remember seeing this??? Amazing stuff guys, keep up the sharing.
     
  13. Rickystarr

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    Shiiiit that would fuck me up. I don't fuck with dick havers so I'll hopefully be fine.

    I know there are transguys who don't feel that their masculinity is threatened by having children, and I think that is great, I just...*shudders* But different people have differently focused dysphoria. A huge majority of mine happens to be related to fertility and reproductive organs.
     
  14. AyaseKishimoto

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    I'm the first girl who post on this thread, Yay... *banana dancing*
     
  15. RyeTheDauphin

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    tfw you have a mild celebrity crush on a guy but you don't know whether you want to be like them after you (hopefully) transition, or whether you just want to fuck them
     
  16. Althidon

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    Yeah, most of my dysphoria is related to my appearance as others can see it, like my face and my height. (I'm really excited about how fast my facial hair is coming in on T) Lower on the list is breasts, then genitals, and then reproductive organs. I don't get along with them (cysts) but I don't have dysphoria related to them unless I'm bleeding.

    I do carry a burden of guilt when it comes to my daughter. She's transgender too, and I did not want it to be that way. I had started hormone therapy right before I got pregnant, and while I of course stopped as soon as I found out, any potential damage had been done. There's a real possibility that her exposure to testosterone while in utero affected her genitalia and/or gender identity - we had been warned about intersex conditions that might occur, too. I have to keep reminding myself that I didn't know, there's no way to prove this is my fault, and that I didn't do anything that terrible to her - she's trans, not horribly maimed.
     
  17. I AM MEOW

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    Whenever I read 0% trans fat on a food package my first though is "well I'm 100% trans fat"
     
  18. Althidon

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    LOL that's a good one.
     
  19. bluejay77

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    same here. I know that i probably want to have kids in the future, but i dont literally want to HAVE them. i tell this to my mom all the time and she always replies that it will change -_- , and that not ever getting pregnant puts me at risk for cervical cancer because my body is built to have children (*shudder* even thinking that makes me dysphoric eugh) and she seems to expect me to have biological children when i get older.
     
  20. AyaseKishimoto

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    I lost my motivation to do the things I enjoy, I don't know if it's caused by dysphoria or that maybe I have depression (I never went to the doctor to check that so I don't know).
    I can't see myself enjoy drawing like before, it has been 3 month where I can barely do some daily practice. I don't have enough confidence or determination to make the things happen.

    I really want to have fun while doing something that I love, but I can't, I'm stuck. Taking long breaks hasn't been helpful because as long as I start to draw I get stuck, I get angry, I get sad, suddenly a headache comes and it's over.
     
    #20 AyaseKishimoto, Aug 12, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2016