Online Dating....to Real Dating

Alright so I messaged him again tonight...he said that he lost his job and needs to concentrate on that...I'm inclined to believe him, though of course I know a cynic might claim he's just stringing me along or something. But still, if he really didn't want to talk to me or see me again, why would he respond to my messages at all? Maybe he's not sure himself whether he wants to do anything again. But then again, I don't really have reason to disbelieve that he really has been going through a lot of tough shit in his life right now more important than talking to me.

Meanwhile my inbox on the dating site is all backed up with messages, I'm afraid to even go on there, they'll see me online not responding...as Josh and others on this very forum can attest, I have a real problem actually responding to messages, I don't know what it is, I just don't feel like I'm in the right state to be talking to people.

 

Well, I suppose it's a possibility he was just looking for a hookup.

While profiles should be taken with a grain of salt, his does say he's looking for relationships or friends, and that you're wasting your time if you message him for sex.

But I mean, we didn't really "hook-up", we went out on a date at a bar, we got affectionate, and it was so late I decided to crash at his place, things just kinda fell into place and worked out that we ended up having sex. Until he heard about this drag show, our original plan was to go out for coffee that weekend, I doubt that would have led to anything sexual. Unless all of this was just an elaborate scheme to get inside my pants, but that's rather far-fetched.

I'm more worried that I might have said or did while drunk that would explain why he wouldn't want to date again. If anything, I think my own actions were what led to the sexual activity, I was the one who started the physical interaction with my arms all over him at the bar that seemed to get him aroused. Maybe he's ashamed that he had sex with a guy he just met like that, since he says he is so opposed to sexual hook-ups. During sex he kinda stopped very abruptly and just wanted to go to bed, as if he were ashamed of what he was doing.

Though lately I've been wondering whether maybe hookups aren't so bad and have downloaded a bunch of hookup apps too...the thing I miss most about that night was the excitement, the freedom of being out at a gay bar with a date, getting affectionate with him at the bar, and a ridiculous amount of PDA and making out on the street and on the train without regard to what anyone thinks. And there was still a thrill to the sexual intimacy even if we didn't have an emotional relationship developed.

I guess I feel rather indebted to this guy for liberating me in that way. If he is going through troubles in his life, I want to help him if I can. But then again I myself am an unemployed loser who lives with his parents, which could be another reason he doesn't want to pursue a relationship with me.

In any event, he's going to keep getting messages from me until he gives me an honest answer when I ask him if he doesn't want to talk to me anymore. And they will be the nicest, most innocent, most flattering, messages possible, so that either he will hopefully decide to give me another chance when he feels ready... or otherwise at the very least rack his conscience with as much guilt as possible for his cruel treatment of such a shy, naive, and innocent little boy who just wanted to be his dedicated partner and friend....:icon_twis

Haha, I'm a sick person. Enough stream of consciousness rambling now.

---------- Post added 4th Apr 2013 at 02:16 AM ----------

Oh he answers my texts within a few minutes. It's the content of his responses that is the issue.

 

Alright so this is an old thread, I assumed this guy had just wanted a hookup and gave up on him long ago...but I had so much fun with him that out of the blue, over a year later, I decided to message him again tonight...and he responded very sweetly and wants to text again, he gave me his new number.

So right now I'm remaining optimistic about getting together with this guy again. :icon_bigg